


Roommates in the time of Covid

by Blueyedgurl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, But mind social distancing rules, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Growth, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Menstruation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pandemics, Panic Attacks, Rey Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Soft Ben Solo, Stalking, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vaginal Fingering, gratuitous gift giving, the author is allowing the characters to eat her feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:34:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 62,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueyedgurl/pseuds/Blueyedgurl
Summary: Ben and Rey have been roommates for three months.  Rey has to quarantine for 14 days after being exposed to the virus at work.  A bit of panic and anxiety with space idiots in love.  Although this may not contain real or imagined space.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 85
Kudos: 143





	1. Day 1

Ben

A buzzing startled him from his state of shock at the scene being played out in front of him.

Of course he had heard of the chaos, Rey had even mentioned it last week when she had ran errands. But to see two soccer mom’s having a shouting match over a bag of chicken tenders was something he never would have predicted.

The buzzing started again, finally peeling his eyes off of the scene in front of him and reaching into his pocket to answer it, it must be important for whoever it was to call twice.

A flash of concern and confusion passing through his thoughts at seeing who was calling.

“Rey?”

He was greeted with panting breaths rather than an actual response. He checked the screen. 2 missed calls and 4 unread texts from his roommate of 3 months. He felt his concern rise slightly.

“Rey? Are you there?”

“Ben. It’s… It’s at my work” She said in a tone that did not quite sound like herself.

“What is?” momentarily caught off guard but then remembering the chaos of the store around him. “Did someone at your work test positive?”

“Yes. I have to quarantine for 14 days. I need to get a hotel, or move out, but they laid everybody off from that department and I don’t know how I’m going to afford all of this, let alone pay you rent…”

She was rambling, a tell he noticed that she had when she was nervous, her panic was palpable. 

“Rey, I need you to slow down and breathe.” He took in a breath himself. Moving forward away from the frozen food and steered his shopping cart into the organic soap isle, somehow forgotten by all of the panic shoppers.

“But Ben I don’t know-"

“You’ll stay at the apartment,” he cut her off abruptly and unapologetically “I don’t care about rent, I have a roommate because I’d never interact with people if I didn’t, not because I really need the money. You’ll stay, we’ll figure it out.” He had seen her have a panic attack once in the 3 months he had known her, and he sensed she was on the verge of another one now.

“But I’ll expose you. I can’t do that!” Her voice rose in pitch, he hated that he wasn’t physically there to reassure her.

“Are you at home, Rey?”

“Yeah, I came to pack a bag.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose he took in a calming breath, devising a plan to ease Rey’s panic and keep them both safe in all of this. He was glad that he had inherited his parent’s ability to think quickly on his feet.

“Ok. This is what we are going to do. I want you to go get clean sheets out of the closet and remake my bed. It’s all torn apart right now since I was doing laundry anyways. Since my room has the attached bathroom I want you to stay in there. This way you won’t risk infecting me if you’re sick.”

“Ben I can’t do that. That’s you’re space. I don’t want to burden you.”

“Yes you can. Strip your room, clean the surfaces and spray some disinfectant. I’ll stay in there.” There was a long pause. A few shaky exhales he could hear her wheels turning. He knew she was adding up what she’d owe, not only for rent but for inconveniences and chores on his part. He knew he’d have to find a way to balance this out with her.

“Ben, postmates won’t exactly deliver to inside of the apartment.”

He huffed a laugh in relief. Her humor was not entirely gone.

“No, but I will. I’m at the store now. Text me what you think you’ll need or want while you’re cooped up. Anything, Rey. I mean it.”

“But what if you’re already infected?”

“Seriously? This is the first I’ve left the apartment for 3 weeks. I would say I was quarantining but we both know that would be a lie.”

Her laugh carried through the phone, he realized they were through the worst of her panic for now.

“Ok, I’ll text you what I need, but promise that you won’t go overboard, and no name brands unless I actually list them.”

“Mmhmm” he mumbled noncommittally. If Rey was going to be sequestered away for 2 weeks, she wasn’t going to be settling for store brand cola. If she was worried about cost he’d have to find a way to ease her about that. He had more money than he needed so it was of very little concern to him at the moment.

She huffs a sigh then but seems to know that this isn’t time nor an invitation to argue.

“Fine. I’ll make up your room, pull out some of your clothes, too. How long do you think you’ll be?”

“I just started so an hour? Maybe two. Need me to stop somewhere besides here?” He asks knowing she’ll say no and that he won’t listen anyways. If they’re going to be locked up for two or more weeks he would do his best to make them as bearable as possible.

“No. Just food and hygiene stuff. I’m already starting on a list.”

“Ok, I’ll talk to you at home then.” He pulls the phone away from his ear but not before he hears her call out his name.

“Ben! Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem, Rey.”

So he made a plan. He called Amalyn at the craft store, that Rey recently started frequenting for window shopping, She woudl have an order ready for curbside pick-up. He already had most of what he needed and her list wasn’t very expansive for

someone who would be stuck in one space for 14 days. So he made another lap around the snack and produce sections to make sure that he got extras of things that she liked. He passed by the soda isle on the way to the check out and saw the

apple soda he knew she loved. Maybe Mexican for dinner would be nice.

He made a stop at the liquor store to pick up a couple bottles of wine for him and some of the ciders that he knew she’d like to try. 

He then stopped at Target, the absolute worst mistake because it was taking forever, good thing he hadn’t called in his dinner order yet. He picked up 2 Nintendo switches with the appropriate amount of add ons. Making sure to call in their dinner order while in line at the checkout. One good thing about his size and his resting bitch face was that no one was willing to swipe the large package of toilet paper out of his cart. Man this place was nuts.

On his way to pick up food he picked up the order from the craft shop. The woman had just opened it a few months ago and he had heard Rey talk about how concerned she was that it wouldn’t be able to stay afloat, so he was happy that he could make a sizable purchase. He also paid ahead for Rey to have a couple of individual classes over Zoom.

He was lucky dinner was his last stop as he was hard pressed to find space for anything else in his SUV.

He knew that he couldn’t just give this to Rey all at once, she’d be pissed (and probably for good reason) and she’d probably freak out. But he couldn’t bear to have her sequestered away with nothing to do. He had witnessed firsthand how restless

she could get. A snowed in weekend in January being a good example of that. He knew he would be moderately busy with work and wouldn’t be able to always be available to her. He was willing to accept if she was mad, he could return whatever

she absolutely refused to take and if she took it anyway she’d get over being angry with him, eventually. 

Rey

The knots were starting to unravel in her stomach and chest. The panic from the past hour and a half slowly ebbing away.

She sent Ben her list of sensible and easy to microwave or cook foods and snacks. She tried to be mindful of listing things she knew Ben would eat as well so not to be a total burden.

She had donned a facemask that Rose had sent her in the mail last week. She knew that it was supposedly ineffectual but if she was contagious she didn’t want to accidentally infect Ben while she was removing some of his things from his room and into hers. 

It had only been 45 minutes since she had talked to Ben, she had already switched out his pillows for hers and put clean sheets on his bed. She had grabbed clothes as well as her craft bin to keep her busy. Her laptop and kindle sat charging on his nightstand. She was in the midst of switching out toiletries when her phone pinged. 

BSolo: Mexican for dinner? I can grab take out

Rey: Sounds good. 

BSolo: The usual?

Rey: Please

Rey went back to frantically moving things about the apartment, aggressively disinfecting everything she touched and every surface she passed. She had only been living with him for 3 months, an arrangement that Poe had set up for her after he had asked Finn to move in with him. He knew that she would need an affordable place to stay so living by herself wasn’t really an option. So he told her about his friend Ben who was looking for a roommate since he worked from home and didn’t have many daily interactions with people. Poe had referred to him as “taciturn” if left alone for too long. The price was right, it was the same amount that she had been paying to live with Finn. They had spoken over the phone a few times and texted some prior to her moving in but both had trusted Poe’s recommendation. 

At first it had taken some getting used to. She had been expecting an apartment that was similar to hers and Finn’s. The neighborhood was a bit nicer than the one she currently lived in, but she was in no way prepared for it basically being a luxury apartment. She was expecting 2 bedrooms and there were 4. Two of them were used for actual bedrooms, another served as his office that he worked in and kept locked when he wasn’t in there, and one that was used as a kind of a catch all. There were shelves for books, movies, and music. There was still a bit of space. She was half hoping she could talk him into letting her take over half of it as a craft room. There was a balcony that was accessible from the living room and his bedroom. One of the best parts was that there were 2 ½ bathrooms hers wasn't as nice as his but it was still her own. She wasn’t naïve enough to think that such nice places existed that were affordable. When she had addressed this with Ben, he had to reassure her that since he took up most of the space, he felt that the price she was paying was fair. 

The other aspect of living here that she had to come to terms with was that Ben was unapologetically attractive and didn’t even realize it. She had always thought Finn and Poe were cute and charming, respectively. However, Ben put them both to shame with is height and thick muscled frame. 

She was sorting and tidying her new living space when she heard rustling at the front door.

“Rey!” She could hear his heavy footsteps coming down the hall.

“Rey. I’m going to leave your food outside the door. Then bring in the rest of the groceries. If you give me a few minutes I’ll come and sit here, we can eat together…. In away.”

He let out a huff of breath and she could almost see him put his hand through his thick, dark hair in that nervous way of his. She smirked, knowing she had him figured out after such a relatively short amount of time.

“Sounds good. Now, hurry up, I’m starving.”

He chuckled and she felt another string of tension release from her shoulders. 

“Yeah, yeah, you gremlin, when aren’t you?” She could hear his smirk.

“Shut up.”

“Aye, aye.”

Rey could feel herself grinning and knew then that things would be ok for now.

She listened closely for his retreating footsteps, counting to an extra 5 before opening the door and quickly picking up the takeout bag and the little glass bottle next to it.

Inspecting the bottle more closely she noticed it was the apple soda that she favored that she could only find at the store. The restaurant they ordered from never carried it.

She felt herself choking up, becoming emotional over the small gesture. After spending her childhood in foster care and not having anyone really look out for her any more than what they had to, small gestures like this were almost always overwhelming for her. If he would have been in the room she would have been fidgety, anxious, and awkward about it. People noticing she had needs, and then meeting them had always made her feel vulnerable.

In fact she had been a mess on several occasions due to him being overly generous. When he had brought her a coffee home with his own the day after she had moved in. When he had bought her bath bombs to use in his giant tub when he went

away for a week on a work trip. When he brought her cupcakes from the bakery around the corner after he found out he had missed her birthday because she kept it a secret. She actually had a full blown panic attack then. She was mortified, they

had only known each other for a bit over a month when that had happened. Despite her embarrassment Ben remained calm, stoic, and supportive. He reassured her that he wanted to know her and that he brought her the cakes because he wanted

to, not because he felt obligated to, and that she didn’t need to feel guilty for anything. 

She opened the bag, the smell of spice and cilantro making her stomach rumble. Inspecting the boxes as she went. The tres leches cake, beans and rice, 2 tamales (when she normally just got the one), and the burrito slathered in sauces that Ben

usually looks at in a slightly horrified way. She also had a small cup of their salsa, her favorite. There were plastic cutlery in the bottom of the bag with a bundle of napkins and the bottle opener from his keys. She hummed to herself, pleased, as

she laid out her meal and poured some of the salsa on the rice. She snuck a bite of the cake, wondering what was taking Ben so long with the groceries. He was an avid believer in taking as few trips as possible and she already heard the faint click of

the door and rustling of bags twice now. He must have really stocked up on supplies. A fresh pang of guilt washing over her that she was the cause of it and that she couldn’t help him.

She heard his footsteps approaching again, and the rustle of what must have been his own bag of take out. 

“Ok, I’m ready.” She heard him rumble through the door.

“Took you long enough. What happened to taking more than one trip being for the weak?” She asked as she cut into and took a bite of her burrito. 

“Well, I wanted to make sure we had enough of everything to last so we wouldn’t need to go out for a while. It was a mad house in there I can’t believe it’s going to calm down anytime soon.” 

She felt her mouth go dry with the panic of what this could look like long term.

“I don’t know how I’m going to pay you back.” She stated as she circled her fork through her rice, playing with it more than having any intent to take a bite of it.

“It’ll be fine, Rey. I’m not worried about it.”

“But what about your job? Won’t it be affected by all of this?”

“Probably not in a negative way.” She wasn’t quite sure what he did for a living. She knew he had an office that he kept locked up but assumed he did some sort of software development or something. At first it made her uneasy, it felt like a secret

but then she realized that Ben was really just a private person. She could respect this, they were similar in some ways regarding this. She was private about her past and he was private about his job. They occasionally turned it into a game where

she would guess outlandish work from home jobs, like panda monitor or porn voice over, that one really made his cheeks pink. 

She picked at her food a bit while she ate which was unlike her, the worry from before not quite releasing. 

“Too bad it’s raining today. We could have sat on the balcony. I guess it’s supposed to be nicer out tomorrow? Maybe for lunch?” He was trying to be supportive, to distract her from her thoughts. She appreciated the gesture all the same.

“Yeah, sounds great. What’s on the menu for the week?” She asked, digging back into her Burrito, her appetite somewhat returned.

“Surprisingly? not pizza rolls.”

She huffed a laugh. “I put them on the list because they’d be easy for you to microwave not because of their nutritional value.”

One thing her and Ben often disagreed about was food. She was willing to eat cheaply or easily and he tended to turn everything into a grand affair. 

“Hey even I know microwaving pizza rolls is a sin, give me some credit.”

She huffed out a laugh at him then, willing away the panic that lies just on the edge of her thoughts. 

They ate in companionable and easy chatter after that, things almost felt normal despite the closed door between them and her sitting in his room.

“Rey.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to start putting things away. I’ll leave things on the patio for you as I unpack. Like your drinks and things you might want access to while you’re in there.”

A bubble of anxiety rose in her chest.

“Yeah, ok.” She picked up her empty containers putting them back in the take out bag. She picked up what was left of her soda and finished it, savoring the last of it before setting it next to the trash can in the bathroom. She wasn’t prepared for

this, it was going to be a mess. Full, and exhausted from her panic she went and laid on the bed. The one nice thing was that Ben had a king size so she really had room to spread out if she wished. She turned on the TV and settled on HULU

because at least it didn’t insist on checking if you were still watching every other episode. Going through her choices she decided on the Powerpuff girls and snuggled into her blankets, the bed still faintly smelled of Ben. She shook slightly from

being cold, the build-up of adrenaline finally settling out of her system. She could hear the heating unit kick on and briefly considered turning on the fancy fireplace below the TV, it wasn’t real but the flames were soothing to watch. The last thing

she remembered noticing were the sounds of Ben moving about the apartment before she drifted off. 


	2. Day 2

Ben

Ben woke up to light peaking in through the gauzy curtains of Rey’s room. He was a bit stiff from laying in the more cramped and slightly lumpy bed of his roommate. He sat up stretching his limbs and preparing for the start of the day.

It had taken him until midnight before he felt ready to go to sleep and only then after checking on Rey after putting groceries away, taking a glimpse at her through the patio door to check to see if she was ok. He noted that she slept curled up,

much like she had the few times he found her asleep on the couch, only it was hard to tell what was a lump of bedding and what was Rey, her head barely peeking out of the covers. He had noted the chill and damp air that blew his hair around his

face and had promptly went inside and turned the heat up.

He had been nervous, even anxious, about how she was doing, this morning being no exception to those feelings. When he had been shopping and putting things away it was easy to have all of his nerves flow into action and find a place to put his

energy. He had even set up the gaming devices so all she had to do was turn it on. He had unpacked and sorted the craft supplies he got her so she would have little surprises throughout the next two weeks. He still felt a bit on edge, keyed up

even, he didn’t know what he could do to channel that.

He walked as quietly as his big frame would allow him, not wanting to wake Rey too early, she could be a bear in the mornings. He felt like he had gone overboard the day before with shopping as he looked around and saw the boxes and bags of

grocery items that didn’t really have a home. He made sure to buy enough food to last for a few weeks as well as basic supplies for cold and flu, just in case Rey or he did get sick.

He knew he still had deadlines to meet if he was going to appease those that he answered to, especially in this climate, especially if he was the one that was going to have to take care of Rey. Not that his bank account couldn’t take the hit, but he

didn’t want her to feel like she owed him for decisions that he unilaterally made without her knowledge or input. 

He started his morning routine, started the coffee pot, put bagels in the toaster oven. Maybe Rey would want to have a kitchenette in her room? He could get her a mini fridge, and she could just keep the toaster oven in there? Or he could get her

one of those multipurpose ones with a hot plate? He was pretty sure he was taking it too far now. If he bought those without consulting her first, especially after buying her everything else, she would not hesitate to come in here and murder him. He found himself smirking at that. At first when she moved in he didn’t understand why Poe had always referred to her as a bit feral. But then after he had brought her overpriced coffee for the 3rd day in a row, and she set a firm boundary about

him not bringing her things he finally understood.

Coffee and breakfast made he placed Rey’s on a tray and walked it down to her door and knocked 3 times before announcing that what he was leaving.

He knew he had to get some writing done in the morning and wanted to make sure she had her needs met so he wouldn’t be interrupted, not that he’d really mind. He heard her door open. A chime from his phone sounding from the kitchen. He usually always had his phone on vibrate to keep down the distractions but decided that having the volume on would be best incase Rey needed anything. 

ReywithanE: Thanks for Breakfast. I really appreciate all of this.

Ben: I know you do. But it’s really not a problem Rey. Do you want a mini fridge or something in there for yourself? I wouldn’t have a problem ordering one. I could always use it for my office after all of this is over.

ReywithanE: That would be excessive and unnecessary. I heard you take multiple trips last night with the groceries so I know you already bought too many things already.

Ben: We’ll see if you’re still saying that when you’re asking me to make you pizza rolls for the third meal in a row. 

ReywithanE: Well so long as you put enough ranch dressing on the plate we’ll be fine.

Ben: Ah, like a real Midwesterner your palate is an abomination.

ReywithanE: Don’t hate on it just because I refuse to see soylent (sp?) as a quick meal alternative.

Ben: Hey that was one time and I had deadlines I was trying to meet.

ReywithanE: Oh yeah? Were you suppose to clock how many times the pandas face planted?

Ben: …

ReywithanE: OMG it’s really is what you do!

Ben: It isn’t. Either way I have to get back to work. Let me know if you need anything.

ReywithanE: nooooo Ben wait please come back!

ReywithanE: Ben? Ben? Ben?

ReywithanE: Fine…

He couldn’t help the grin that broke across his face anytime they texted like this. He knew he had feelings for her, he had enough insight to know that. But he also didn’t want to make her uncomfortable since she lived with him. There were few people in his life that he considered his friends, and he dreaded the idea of letting his feelings ruin his friendship with Rey.

He resented himself for keeping secrets from her, his job and his net worth to name a few. She seemed to respect his privacy but he knew that if he was going to have a true friendship with her he’d have to be honest about what he did for a living. 

He just usually kept that information to himself for a while when meeting new people. His job or career, rather, was a touchy subject. Everyone who learned what he did, or rather who he was, seemed to be after something or had strong opinions

that he just didn’t care to hear from someone who wasn’t being paid to do so. So he kept it to himself until he felt the other person could be trusted. Rey had proven trust worthy months ago but it just never seemed like a good time. If he was being honest with himself he was scared. 

His other secret was how he ended up living with her all together. He originally did it as a favor to Poe. Give Poe’s friend a place to stay, until she got on her feet, so he could live with his boyfriend guilt free. He had the space and he had the money

so it wasn’t really an inconvenience. He just never took into account that he’d actually end up liking her enough to want her to stay past the time of the 6 month lease they had initially signed. He had so many reservations that he put off meeting her

and showing her the apartment until the day that she moved in. Before that day he had hoped that the flakiness would keep her from moving in. He had never been gladder that a plan of his had backfired. 

The only problem was that now he actually considered her a friend and the start of their relationship was built off of lies, and missteps. He knew that they were not overly harmful, but he still hated that the lies existed. The longer he kept putting off being fully honest with Rey – well maybe somethings he would still keep to himself, his burgeoning feelings for her for example-the more it could cost him.

Rey

She had woken to a knock on her door and an easy breakfast and coffee on the other side of it. Ben was always accommodating towards her, so much so that in the first few days of moving in she had to tell him to stop because it had made her uncomfortable that he was always bringing her coffee. She felt like now she could take the opportunity to accept and appreciate it since he wasn’t going out of his way to make coffee or breakfast, and quite frankly she didn’t have a choice.

She had noticed the stack of beverages and snacks outside the patio door next. She considered going to peek in the living room doors but knew that Ben would just be starting work in his office. Maybe they could have lunch on opposite sides of the patio. She felt nervous, trapped, it was hard staying in one place. So she focused on bringing in the snacks, and left the case of water and soft drinks on the patio since it was still fairly cool out. She tidied up her things and put the dishes out in the hallway under a towel so Ben could place them in the dishwasher. 

Her mind wandered as she set about her menial tasks and thought about the mixed feelings that were brought on by being in this position with Ben. On one side she felt safe with him. She knew that her needs would be met. He made that very clear yesterday. She also knew that he wouldn’t hold this over her head later that just wasn’t who he was. She was confident that he had, had some money, his apartment was evident of that, plus Poe had alluded to it after she had confronted him about his friend’s apartment being too nice for what she was paying. 

She was still worried though. Her lease with Ben was up in three months, she didn’t know how she’d find another place to live and in the midst of a pandemic let alone the current joblessness she was experiencing. The market was tanking too, so that would not bode well for jobs for anyone at this point. Now was not the time to be in the field of engineering when you specialized in flight mechanics, not with travel bans abound. The parts factory she had worked for had cut out anyone that worked in the department where her coworker had tested positive and that included her. She felt like she was sinking. She just hoped that her need for a work Visa wouldn’t create even more barriers. Being deported and homeless during a global catastrophe was not something that she was prepared for.

She did the only thing within her control, she picked up her laptop and started with updating her resume.

It had been a few hours of staring at her computer screen before her phone dinged. She glanced at it seeing it was Ben asking her about lunch. She replied that she was up for whatever he was willing to fix for her. 

Rey: Can we sit on the Patio?

BSolo: If you want you can and I can sit on the inside in the livingroom.

Rey: L we both can’t sit?

BSolo: There’s only one table. 

Rey: Fine. One of these days I’m going to beat you at this whole reasonable argument thing.

BSolo: We’ll see. Lunch will be done in a few. 

Rey: :D

She threw on a hoodie that she found in Ben’s closet, having forgotten her own. What was the point of living with a virtual tree man if you couldn’t steal his oversized clothes in the midst of a global emergency? 

She leaned on the patio railing and enjoyed the midday sun peeking through the clouds, waiting for Ben to join her. The street below was eerily devoid of people, but the birds were chirping excitedly. 

Ben

“Don’t move I’m going to put this on your table.” He said as he walked out onto the patio, Rey was leaning against the rail watching the scenery around her. He set down the plate of grilled cheese and tomato soup before walking back indoors. 

“Oh, that’s perfect thank you.” She called back at him. When he stole a glance at her she was doing that thing where she was beaming at him, and her in his clothes was something he didn’t know he always wanted to see. It made him feel resolved about the things he needed to fix between them.

“Not a problem.” He nodded at her as he retreated to his side of the patio doors. 

“So, how was panda monitoring?” She asked with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Ben’s breath hitched with the beauty of her, if he was going to come clean why not now? When there was time to talk about it, figure it out. Hell she could exist without seeing his face for two whole weeks if she wanted to. When he looked back up at her after not answering her eyes were sparkling, like she thought she won their little game.

He took a breath preparing himself. “Actually, I thought I’d come clean and tell you what I actually do.” What if she hates him for it? For lying? He felt is mouth dry and his throat go tight. He pushed his hand through his hair and cleared his throat.

“Why are you so nervous? You don’t cook books for the mob do you?” She asked nonchalantly, but when he paused in answering, she went from confused to worried quickly. He huffed a laugh then, his nerves getting the better of him.

“No Actually. Actually. I’m a writer.” He watched waiting for her reaction.

“Ok, like for a magazine or blog or something?” She looked mostly confused. “That would explain when you said you have deadlines, but I still don’t get all the secrecy about it.”

“No. I mean, on occasion I have written for those too, but I mostly write books.”

Her eyebrows shot up and she set down the piece of sandwich she was working on to give him her full attention.

“Like what kind of books, anything I’ve heard of?”

“Thriller and horror mostly. But yes, you have heard of me.” She just stared at him, he could feel his heart racing, hear it in his ears. She didn’t pursue her questioning, seeming to wait for him to answer. 

“I keep it secret because some people, when they find out, try to use it to their advantage or have way too many opinions about what I’ve written.”

He watched her take a breath, she relaxed minutely.

“Do you trust me enough to tell me what you write?”

He let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, this question was easy.

“Yes.”

“Ok, what have you written?”

“I write under the pen name Kylo Ren.” He sat up straighter trying to feel more confident, less nervous. 

“What?” She looked at him blankly and shook her head. “You’re kidding.” A smirk quirked her features, as if waiting for him to tell her it was all part of their ongoing joke.

“I assure you, I am not. I write under the name Kylo Ren. I have written 10 books to date and published 8.” He wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this conversation was going but didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. 

“But, I have like 3 of your books on my shelf right now. That just seems so surreal. That’d make you famous, and wealthy…. You’re like the Stephen King of our generation….And... “ Although he bristled at her calling him Stephen King, she was rambling again. “No I don’t believe it prove it.” She crossed her arms over her chest in defiance or defense he couldn’t say.

“Ok… Hold on stay there.” He had the preview copy of his most recent book that hadn’t been released yet. It wouldn’t come out until next week. He grabbed it from his desk in his office and returned, placing it on the table in front of her and stepping back into the apartment.

“This is… a book that I don’t recognize…” She flipped through it, it was hard cover with crisp pages. There was a banner on it indicating that it was a pre-release copy.

“It comes out next week.” Her eyes dart up to meet his, her mouth agape as if she couldn’t quite believe it.

“But you’re a New York Times best seller several times over. You don’t need a roommate. Why did you let me move in?” She was scowling now. 

“You’re right, I don’t. But that brings me to something else and please let me get all the way through.” He was feeling panicky, knots in his stomach and his palms were clammy, he was losing control of where this was going.

Rey looked like a deer in the headlights at this point, her hands were clenched in her lap. The best thing to do now would be just to rip off the band aid.

“I wasn’t looking for a roommate when you moved in. I… It was a favor to Poe so he could live with Finn.” She bristled again and looked away from him. He felt sick “I don’t regret it at all. But that’s why I was so weird in the beginning and flaked out on meetings and everything. But I enjoy you living here. I don’t regret it. Please, believe that.” His held his hands palms towards her in a placating motion in an attempt to calm her.

“So the rent I pay you?”

“Goes to charity.”

She looked taken aback by that, he was unsure if she would be soothed by that or incensed.

“How much would it cost me to live here? The fair rent cost?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “this apartment is paid for. I own it, outright. I wasn’t lying in the beginning that I thought the price you paid was fair.”

She got up from her seat then and he mirrored her. Panic lacing through is blood wanting to close the distance but not wanting to make her feel more trapped than she was. He realized his mistake with choosing to tell her while she was being quarantined.

“I…” He could see her eyes were wet and she took in a deep breath. “I’m not charity.”

“I know that Rey. Poe picked the price because he knew that’s what you could afford. Finn didn’t want you to end up in some sketchy neighborhood, or with creepy roommates and so Poe approached me. He knew I had the space. And I owed him a favor and he reassured me that you were a good person, so I agreed. I promise you I don’t regret it.”

She set her jaw. She wouldn’t look at him. “Why are you telling me this now?”

He took a breath, something he could easily answer. “Because I hate that I have these secrets from you and I want to be honest with you. One hundred percent, honest. No lies, no secrets. I realize that now is probably the worst time possible to have this discussion with you.”

She looked at him. Really took him in and assessed him. The weight of her stare was a tangible thing and he shrunk from it as if it burned.

“Our lease agreement is up in 3 months. What do I do about that?” A spike of panic struck him as if she had threatened to move out today.

“Stay, please, Rey. I want you to stay. Pay rent or don’t, I don’t care about the money. I obviously don’t need it.”

“What charity does it go to?” The sudden change in topic startled him and he shook his head as he realized what she was asking.

“A different one every month. The first was a food pantry, the next was a domestic violence shelter, and this last one was a homeless shelter.”

“Why those?” She was guarded shuttered up. He hated it.

“They’re things I usually take an interest in anyways, local charities that could benefit from a cash donation. I didn’t feel right taking your money and keeping it so I donated it. But I can pay it back to you, if you’d rather have it back.” That comment seemed to make it worse as she stared daggers at him. “Or not. Look, Poe alluded to a rough childhood so I donated to programs that I thought you’d approve of, you can pick them in the future if you would like to.”

She relaxed some. Gave a stiff nod. Her lunch sat half ate, it had to be cold now.

“I need to think about this.”

He nodded. “I understand.” 

She turned to go back to her room. 

“Rey,” She paused and tilted her head, but wouldn’t look at him. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you from the start.”

She nodded stiffly, then walked out of sight.

He hated that he hurt her. He knew that he did. If she couldn’t forgive him, he didn’t know if he could forgive himself either.

He spent the rest of the afternoon pacing. His ability to focus on his work was shot, he was glad that he had been able to focus in the morning. 

He had texted Rey about dinner but she just left him on read. At various points in the evening he could hear her talking, probably on the phone with someone she trusted more than him right now. He didn’t blame her for being angry. 

He paced the hall and frequently found himself drawn to her door. It took everything in him not to knock but he would do as she asked, he would give her space. It was late when he realized that she had been quiet for some time. He settled at the kitchen counter to write, pen and paper always brought catharsis.


	3. Day 3

Day 3

Rey

She woke from a restless sleep it was still early. She wasn’t as mad at Ben as she was initially. She was more hurt that he kept things from her. 

She understood about the writing part. Ben was an extremely private person, being an author would have to be stressful, especially if you’re trying to keep your identity under wraps. There would have to be pressure for him to divulge himself. Which lead her to understand the not wanting the roommate. However, that just made her feel like a charity case. She had facetimed Finn the night before in an act of frustration, she was angry about the part he played in this. Confronting him and Poe about her current living situation just lead to Finn looking sheepish, acted contrite. Poe, however, kept his usual arrogant air and told her they were good for each other. This lead to her hanging up on the both of them. 

She called Rose, who let her vent her frustration, consoled her. Then she allowed Rey to explore reason on her own terms without telling her that it was for her own good. By the time the sun went down she was exhausted. She had ignored Ben’s text about dinner. She still wasn’t really hungry, more on principle at that point. So now that the sky was dusky grey from the sunrise her stomach rumbled and felt like a hallow pit. 

She sat up in bed, her nest of blankets and pillows scattered about the mattress and floor. She remembered waking and being restless, remembered dreams that she hadn’t had since she left England. It was about 1am when she realized her weighted blanket was in her closet and she justhad to power through the rest of the night. She didn’t always need it but she regretted not having it last night. Maybe she could make amends with Ben over breakfast, at least find what their new normal would be. Their morning routines historically didn’t match up but she thought she’d try. 

She got up, going to the patio door to see if he was awake yet, not wanting to text in case he was still asleep. It was still early, even for him.

As she slid open the door she noticed a brightly colored package on the ground.

It was a Nintendo switch, something that she didn’t need, and quite frankly would probably chuck at his head if he had given it to her in person. Attached to it was a folded over note. She opened it to find his neat script taking up most of the page.

_Rey,_

_I know that I screwed up and I’m sorry. I know that this is not going to make up for it, but you can at least maybe take out your anger by kicking my ass at smash brothers or something. It’s already set up, to my account, please buy whatever games you want. I had picked it up when I was out shopping the other day so we could play while you were quarantined. This is not me trying to buy you back or anything like that. I know the timing of giving you this looks, and is, bad. But really I want you to have this to play, I figured we could play together if you’re willing, I have one too. If you’re not up to it, I understand and will respect your space. Please know that I consider you a friend and that you are not a burden or obligation, in any way. I like having you here._

_Ben._

She let the words settle over her, she was a bit frustrated with the gift giving but could see where he was coming from. He was trying to help keep her busy, give her a way to connect with the world outside this set of rooms. She was frustrated, maybe a bit hurt, but not mad. Not anymore. But she felt the need to be open with him, too. She had not always been honest and at times avoided questions about her past. Maybe they could start over on even footing.

She decided to put back on the hoodie that she threw in anger the night before and walked down the length of the balcony. She took in the view of the city, still an eerie level of quiet for a weekday morning. A cool spring morning breeze making the hairs tickle the back of her neck.

As she made it to the living room door she peered in and saw Ben sitting at the counter. He was somewhat turned away from her his long legs bent at the knee, feet resting on the wrung of the barstool. His head was in his hands. His hair was mussed from him playing with it. She wondered if he had been up all night, or just slept as poorly as she had. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to disturb him, he seemed quiet, but decided better than to let her anxiety dictate her decisions. She knocked lightly on the glass.

Ben

He was startled from his self-deprecating thoughts with the knock on the patio door.

He could feel his heart racing, Rey was never up this early. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or afraid.

He took in her appearance as he made his way to the door. Her hair in a messy bun, she looked like she hadn’t slept well. She still wore his hoodie, which he took as a positive sign. Her facial features were closed off and hard to read. 

He slid open the glass so he could talk to her without drawing the attention of the neighbors.

“Rey.” It came out as a relieved sigh.

“Ben, I think we need to talk.”

His heart raced and his stomach lurched, but he nodded. “Yeah, whatever you want.”

“I’m sorry for how I reacted yesterday.”

“What, no-“

“Let me finish.” He nodded.

“I’m apologizing because I wasn’t fair to you. I expected you to be more open and honest about your life than I’ve been with you.”

This confused him. He had always viewed Rey as an open book, always chattering away at her thoughts about any given thing. His face must have shown what he was thinking.

“I know I’ve been open about my current life, but I’ve never been open about my childhood.”

“That’s your personal business and story. You don’t owe that to me.”

“I feel like I do. Because of how I grew up it impacts how I do things now. I try not to let it but it does.” A Realization hit him then.

“Like the coffee incident.”

A corner of her lip lifted but her eyes still looked sad. “Yes, exactly like the coffee incident.”

He took in a breath of relief. She wasn’t saying she was going to move out as soon as possible or that she didn’t want anything to do with him. If anything she was opening a door to be closer. He stayed quiet, knowing that if he did, she would open up more. He watched her as she stood fidgeting her hands in his sleeves. She glanced down and watched her hands as she spoke.

“I grew up in the system from the time I was 5 until I was 16 and was able to emancipate myself. I don’t remember much of my birth parents. I just know that I fended for myself a lot, and then one day they were gone and I was living with strangers. I always felt like an obligation, that people did things for me because the government told them to…. That or for money anyways. When I was 18 I moved here for school. That’s where I met Finn and Rose. They’re the closes things to family I have, the most stable parts of my life. I was hurt yesterday, and angry with you. I had hoped that you were becoming another stable part of my life” She finally looked up at him. Her eyes red and glassy from unshed tears. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so helpless.

He stayed quiet a moment longer, waiting for her to add anything else. 

“Rey, I’m sorry that happened to you. I need you to know that you’re not an obligation to me. You may have started out as a favor to Poe but that stopped the second you showed up with the moving van.”

She took in a breath and wiped her eyes with the overly large sleeve.

“You’re sure? I know our lease agreement is up in 3 months. I’m laid off I can’t afford to pay you the rent I was paying. I can repay you for the groceries though.” The tilted her head up to look at him through the screen door.

“As you noted yesterday, I am a New York Times best seller. I’m not worried about the groceries, let alone the rent. Keep your money. Use it to pay off other things or save it for when you really need it.”

Her forehead creased in in concern.

“I’ll repay you with interest then.” He noted a slight tone of panic in her voice.

“You’re money isn’t needed. Stay here, please.” He couldn’t help the pleading notes in his voice, his body curled toward her. A pang of desperation coursed through his chest. “Extend your lease, or fuck the lease I don’t care, stay here so I know that you’re ok. That would be enough. We can

figure out the rest when all of this is over.” Her lip quivered and she sniffed, nodding her reply only.

“I think I’m going to go shower.” Glancing back up at him before turning and striding out of his sight.

He decided a full breakfast was what was needed and got to work.

Rey

A part of her felt odd accepting his offer. She had worked hard not to rely on anyone. As a child she learned that people were unreliable. They stopped caring when you became a burden, they didn’t prioritize you, or they just liked to say the things that made them feel better. It wasn’t like

she was entirely dependent on him, nor was this for the long term. It just made her feel so vulnerable and weak to take anyone’s help. But he seemed so desperate for her to stay. She actually felt wanted. Needed even. She didn’t know how to cope with that. What was he even getting out of

this? In hindsight she would prefer the daily coffee over free groceries and housing for an undetermined amount of time.

She could feel their friendship changing due to what he disclosed to her. There were a lot of things that she was going to have to learn to deal with. His level of notoriety, although it was a secret now, there was always the chance that would change. He was generous with her, to a fault it

seemed. Was he like this with everyone he was close to? She hadn’t met many people in his life. She knew Poe obviously, and had heard him speak of his parents on a few occasions. But never any other close friends. 

She let her thoughts run as the hot water ran over her, soothing sore muscles. The mint and tea tree scent refreshing her and making her skin tingle. Calming herself enough to look forward to whatever breakfast Ben put together. The bathroom was full of steam by the time she stepped out

and she made quick work of drying off and putting on another set of comfy clothes. She was hoping Ben had coffee done and maybe even a bagel for her. She wouldn’t push her luck with hopes that he would have made up anything more complicated for breakfast, it was a weekday after all

and his normal routine was simple food and work. She was about to exit out the patio door when a knock sounded from her door.

“Rey? I hope you’re hungry. I made breakfast.”

“Yeah that sounds great, actually.”

“Do you want to eat in there or outside? I can sit on the patio if you want to stay in.”

“Ummm sure. That sounds fine.” She quickly finished towel drying her hair and put it up in a bun. 

Not long after there was a knock on her door.

“Foods, here.”

She heard him make a quick retreat. She counted to 5 and opened the door. She was expecting a bagel or maybe toast and eggs. She wasn’t expecting French toast, bacon, fruit and scrambled eggs. 

The smell was amazing and her stomach rumbled from having skipped dinner the night before.

She picked up her plate and walked back into the bedroom. Grabbing a pillow to sit on the floor in front of the door.

Ben appeared in front of her as she was settling down dragging the patio chair with him.

Ray scooted the door open so she could hear him better.

“Ben this looks amazing.”

“Yeah, I noticed you didn’t answer my text last night, so I assumed you didn’t eat much dinner.”

“I didn’t. Thank you for this though.” She tucked into her french toast. She had to give the man credit, he could cook.

“So a Nintendo switch, huh? I didn’t take you for much of a gamer.”

“I’m not. I just figured it would be something fun to pass the time.”

“Ok. What are we gonna play?”

“Whatever you want. As you noted, I’m not much of a gamer. But I hear Animal Crossing is quite popular, whatever that is.”

She hummed around a bite of strawberry.

She noted Ben’s would occasionally glance at her before sheepishly looking back down to his plate.

“Rey?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” His eyes were soft, and brow creased in concern. She had a hard time meeting them.

“I think so?” She stared hard at her plate for a bit before continuing. “I mean, I’ve certainly had it worse. I could be on the street, or living with someone much less helpful than you.” She smirked a bit as she glanced up at him. “I think I’m just scared, I’ve never been able to rely on anyone and if I’m going to be responsible I can’t just rely on myself right now. But Ben what if I get sick? Like seriously sick?” She pushed her eggs about her plate before scooping a bite.

Ben looked back at his plate and worked his jaw in that way of his. It made her nervous about what he was going to say next, waiting for him to take back what he said earlier.

“I’m not going to leave you alone to fend for yourself. You’re not alone anymore.” He dug back into his plate, his brow furrowed and not really looking at her.

“Neither are you, you know.” He looked back at her then and gave her one of his rare smiles. She knew then that everything would be ok. 

“So what’s on the agenda today?” He asked before taking his last bite of bacon.

She feigned being pensive. “Oh, yah know live the dream. Take over the world, make a scarf, figure out what Animal Crossing even is…. The usual.”

He chuckled at her.

“How about you? Write any good books lately?”

“Oh, you’ll see eventually.” She noticed his cheeks go pink at the question, a breeze moving his hair indicated that the tips of his ears did, too.

She knew somewhere along the way she had started to catch feelings for him, but pushed that as far to the side as she could. She couldn’t let her imagination and heart run away with her just because he was being kind. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.


	4. Day 4

Day 4.

Ben woke to bright sunlight coming through the window. He groaned as he looked at the time, he had slept late making up for the night before. The previous day had passed fairly quickly. He had worked some. Rey had decided on animal crossing so they had both started their world building. He had made lunch and dinner, submitting to her request for pizza rolls as an afternoon snack.

They seemed to fall back into their old rhythms of communication, though he still tread carefully, afraid that the peace they had come to was a fragile thing. He decided on going back to his sturdy routine of easy breakfast and coffee, ensuring to set some aside for Rey. His phone dinged as he was pouring coffee.

ReywithanE: Good morning! I hear you out there. Plz tell me its breakfast time.

Ben: Yes.

ReywithanE: Woot Woot!

Ben shook his head and chuckled.

ReywithanE: Are you gonna work today?

Ben: Going try to why?

ReywithanE: Feeling cooped up need something to do. I think I stopped being so anxious and have shifted into bored eating and can’t decide what to do.

Ben: Are you inviting me to play a game? ;)

ReywithanE: Not if you’re gonna be smug about it.

Ben: Hmm, maybe after lunch? I tend to work best in the morning and would like to at least get a few things done before I submit this to my editor for review.

ReywithanE: Okay L

Ben’s heart tugged, knowing that the next week and half was going to be hard on her.

Ben: I swear let me get through this morning and I can take a break, maybe work a bit this evening, and you’ll have me at your mercy all weekend. 

ReywithanE: XD Whatever I want? you swear?

Ben: I am already regretting this, but sure.

Ben smirked he really wasn’t. 

ReywithanE: YAAASSSSSSS!

ReywithanE: Now bring me my breakfast and get to work, plznthnx

Ben: As you wish.

Rey

She smiled to herself. She was glad the banter was starting to come back. She could feel Ben being more careful with her yesterday. Knowing she’d need to wait a few hours she ate her breakfast and decided to sit down to see what she had in her craft bin for projects. She knew she had enough yarn to make a couple scarves or hats, maybe start on a small throw. She also had a cross stitch project she had started years ago but never finished. She followed several fiber arts groups and always found herself inspired to create, but much like Pinterest she spent more time collecting ideas than on follow through, well now was her time to shine. Before she lost her job she thought about learning how to do other things, maybe even get a sewing machine but those plans had been dashed to bits. She pulled out the yarn, sorting through the skeins to take inventory of what she had to work with

She decided to crochet a blanket. She had enough soft bulky grey and black to pull off something nice for Ben’s room, if he didn’t want to accept her money, she’d make him something as a thanks. Maybe she could order a nice red as a trim, since those were the colors he tended to favor. She settled on a simple stitch and set to work. Occasionally giving her fingers a break by texting Rose or Finn. Both were now working from home, so they didn’t have a lot of time to chat but they would take the time to respond back and forth. 

By the time Ben had texted, telling her it was nearly lunch time, her fingers were cramped and she was ready to set the project aside for a little bit. She got up and went outside to meet him. 

Today he served up pad Thai that he had ordered for delivery. A surprise but not an unwelcome one.

“So did you get your work done?” She asked around the bite of noodles, moaning as she enjoyed the combination of flavors. 

Ben shook his head as if startled from his thoughts. “I did. I think my editor will actually be happy with me. For once I’ll meet their deadline.” His mouth quirked into a smirk digging into his takeout box.

“So why the name Kylo Ren?”

“It’s a combination of letters from my first and last names, as well as my grandfather’s last name.”

“Oh. What was his last name?”

Ben tensed, looking down at his food before looking her in the eye. “Skywalker.”

“Oh… Oh! Like Anakin Skywalker? I wonder if they’re related.” She mused mostly to herself before taking another bite, oblivious to the discomfort in her roommate.

“No, yeah. Well… actually… That is my grandfather.” Rey looked up startled and noticed Ben picking at his noodles with his fork.

“Oh, I’ve really stuck my foot in it haven’t I?” Rey finally grasped an understanding of the level of privacy related to his career. 

Ben shrugged. “It’s not your fault Rey, you didn’t know.”

“I guess that’s why you keep it such a secret about who you are and what you do.” 

“Pretty much. I always have to fight against people thinking I’m going to continue his legacy, either with how I write or how I behave, so I just keep it to myself mostly. The less people that know, the less people that are disappointed I guess.”

“Oh Ben, I’m sorry.” Rey set down her noodles, to give him her full attention. “We make quite a pair don’t we?”

His gaze snapped up to hers. “How do you mean?”

How did she mean it? She shrugged, “Just that both of us have these pasts, these histories that we’re trying to control or repair in a way.”

Ben looked back down at his food, and nodded. “Ah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. I guess it’s time to let the past die and just live our best lives.” He took a nearly comically large bite then and if Rey had, had better table manners herself she might have been disgusted. Instead she just snorted a laugh and dug back into her food.

After lunch they decided on Netflix and party. They often watched movies together and had running commentary so this was really no different than any other movie night for them. Rey was glad she had his oversized bed to lounge in. They decided on the princess bride and watched away. She couldn’t put her finger on it but there was something about the movie that nagged at her. She had watched it a hundred times before, so what it was she couldn’t say. But they watched and commented, and she could hear Ben shouting Indigo Montoya’s lines through the sword fight scene from down the hall. She laughed so hard she cried and her belly and cheeks hurt. It was good to finally release some of the tension from the week. It was the lightest she felt since she started quarantine.

Ben

It was getting late. They had played some Animal crossing and watched a couple movies. He felt relief flood him when her heard Rey laughing hysterically at his antics, which just egged him on. He was disappointed that he couldn’t see her, but he smile that it was because of him. He was about to turn in when Rey had asked him to go into her closet and get her weighted blanket. It was one thing to stay in her room, another thing entirely to dig through her closet, but she insisted on it being easy to find and that no actual digging was required. 

Doing as asked, he opened her closet door and immediately spotted it on top of a shoe rack. He picked it up and was somewhat surprised by its weight. As he was pulling it toward him he heard a crash and looked to inspect what he had knocked over. It looked to be a shoe box, tipped on its side, with the lid askew. He set down the blanket so he could properly pick up after himself and immediately had regrets.

As he went to tip the box right side up when the lid popped off and the items inside slid out. Damn him and his giant clumsy hands. He felt a healthy dose of mortification at several brightly colored phallic objects bouncing and rolling in an attempt to escape their confines, but that also came with some level of jealousy he didn’t know he could feel toward inanimate objects. He hastily put everything back in the box, very aware of where they had been and fighting away the imagery that was invading his brain. As he was picking up the box his phone chirped, startling him and causing him to drop the box, its contents rattling impossibly loud and scattering to the floor again. He abandoned his task of cleaning up and checked his phone, knowing it was Rey. 

ReywithanE: Hey what’s taking so long, did you travel to Narnia or something?

Ben: Oh. No. Just got sidetracked by something, be there in a sec.

He had never been so glad that he wouldn’t have to see Rey’s face as he dropped the blanket at the door and immediately went to clean up the mess he made. 

She didn’t have a lot, but what she did have was… interesting? Impressive? He didn’t really know how to describe it. But it certainly wasn’t anything that would pass for a back massager. Instead of the haste that got him into trouble he gingerly put everything neatly away in the box. He didn’t know what Bad Dragon was but he was definitely going to have to do some internet research. He had not previously considered sex toys to be art but oh how had the universe proved him wrong. He was unsure if he would have felt the same way if he would have come across them under other circumstances. 

After successfully putting the box back where it belonged her crawled into bed, no longer tired but itching to see what this company was all about. If he thought Rey’s collection was a bit wild, he was sorely underestimating the manufacturer. He spent a shameful amount of time scrolling through the products available, too curious about Rey’s thoughts and interests. He felt a healthy dose of guilt and shame thinking about her this way, she was his roommate, she was younger than him, and she was at his mercy for a place to stay at the moment. His guilt getting the better of him he deleted his history and closed the browser on his phone, the last thing he needed was to be the next subject of some AITA thread on reddit. He didn’t need to ask, he already knew the answer to that.


	5. Day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty emotionally heavy, especially considering current events, so tread carefully. 
> 
> Take care and be safe.

Day 5  
Rey woke up with sore muscles. Her tension finally released some from using her weighted blanket. She loved using it and slept well with it, but her muscles sometimes ached the day after using it. She decided to get up, do some stretches to help get the blood flowing. She could feel her anxiety going down, but usually this meant that a swing of depression was sure to follow. Why wouldn’t it? It’s not like she didn’t have any reason to feel despair. What if the last time she saw Finn and Rose was genuinely the last time she saw them? She checked into twitter often and the stories that she had seen filter in from Italy were now appearing in large metro areas like Chicago and New York.   
She could feel herself choking up, tears threatening her vision. She decided movement would be best for her, so she went out to the balcony and started pacing. Taking note of the misty morning. Again she saw little to no movement in the street below and her brain flashed through every apocalypse movie she’d ever watched. She could feel the feelings thicken and swell. She peeked into the living room, finding it dark, Ben was still asleep then. She wouldn’t disturb him, he was already doing so much for her. Her cheeks chilled with the dampness from her tears and the cold morning. She sat in the corner next to the patio door, pressing her body into the corner between the wall and the glass. She curled her knees up to her chest and burried her face in her arms. She succumbed to racking sobs, overwhelmed by trying to keep the dark emotions at bay for days on end. She felt the cool concrete press into her, her body shaking from the cold or her emotion or both she couldn’t say. At any other time she would have been mortified to show so much emotion in what she would consider an open space, but she just didn’t care anymore. What was the point? She just felt an overwhelming sense of doom and grief. She sobbed for an indeterminable amount of time letting her feelings take over her.   
She was drug from her emotional spiral by Ben’s voice, swimming from far away and the pounding of a drum. She heard a faint whooshing sound and Ben’s voice was louder followed by a clacking noise. She was startled from the depths of her emotions by warmth starting in her shoulders and moving into her side. She felt like she was floating, her connection to reality flickering back when she was placed on a soft surface. It was then she finally took notice of where she was. Noting that Ben and brought her back to her room. Moving quickly he moved about the space with a frenetic energy, covering her up with her weighted blanket, and turning on the fireplace before returning to her side. She could feel her face burning with embarrassment and shame.  
“Rey?” His forehead was creased in concern, taking in panting breaths, whether from exertion or his own panic she couldn’t say.  
“I’m, sorry.” She dissolved into tears again curling in on herself.  
Ben pulled her to sit up, crawling into bed behind her to support her to sit up a bit and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her blanket up to her chin. His body cradled hers, his big frame dwarfing her own. His hands shook as they brushed her hair away from her face, the softness of the plaid scarf pressed against her cheek. She turned herself enough to bury her face in his neck. His pulse beating rapidly against her temple and the scent of him grounding her.   
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be sorry for.” His tone was dulcet and soft. She could feel the heat of him where their bodies touched, which was somehow almost all of her. She sniffled, finally gaining control and coming back to herself. She was calmed by Ben’s presence, and she realized how she was starved for human contact.  
“What happened?” He asked gently. Another string of tears escaped, she shrugged.   
“I don’t know.” She croaked. Her nose was stuffy and her eyes raw from crying.  
“Ok, That’s ok.” He cooed taking on a swaying motion.

Ben  
He could feel his heart rate slowing, his breath steadying.   
He woke up hearing noises from the outside, at first he didn’t understand what it was. He looked out the patio door as he made his way to the kitchen and it took him longer than he would have liked to admit seeing Rey curled up in a ball in the corner. 10 seconds felt like an hour as he tried to get her attention pressing his forehead against the glass. He pounded on it to try to get her attention. He had felt paralyzed with fear. Thoughts had run through his head about what happened to her and how to help her with the situation they were in. He had the forethought to grab his scarf and wrap it around his face. He didn’t want to regret not taking the extra precaution, and couldn’t bear the idea of Rey shrinking away from him if he didn’t.   
By the time he got out to her, the neighbors from across the street were looking out their windows searching for the sound. Her hands and cheeks were freezing and she was shaking. Despite his touch she still wasn’t responding to him. Her eyes glassy and distant when they weren’t closed tight from her tears. He scooped her up then, not caring about the neighbors and carried her to his room. He set her on the bed drawing her weighted blanket over her and turning on the fireplace as high as it would go in an attempt to warm her. Her hair and clothes had felt damp due to the misty weather. He attempted to gain her attention again but failed.  
He couldn’t say what compelled him to crawl into bed with her aside from his own desperation to bring her out of her mind. He moved her hair out of her face and held her as close and tight as he could get her. Shushing and rocking her in a desperate attempt to soothe her. She buried her face in his neck and he regretted having not shaved in 2 days, knowing her skin was exposed to the roughness of the facial hair at his neck. He had his lips pressed to the top of her hair, with nothing but the scarf for a barrier, before he realized what he was doing and tilted his head so his cheek rested there instead.  
An hour had passed since then and Rey’s breathing had calmed. She would verbally respond to him if he asked her questions. He had started sweating about 10 minutes in but her skin was finally warm to the touch and her shaking had ceased.   
“Thank you. You didn’t need to do this for me.”  
“I did. I told you, you’re not alone anymore.”  
She nodded and snuggled in further.  
“This isn’t social distancing” she stated as she let out a sign. She shifted her position, but made no move to leave his embrace.   
“I know. But I couldn’t bear to see you like that. You’re too improtant to be left like that.”  
“You’re more important than me. The world would miss you Ben, hardly anyone would notice if I were gone. I’m nothing.”  
He bristled at that, taking in a breath in attempt to calm himself, knowing this was her grief speaking.  
He shifted her from his grip and turned her to face him.   
“Don’t say stuff like that. You’re not nothing. Not to me.” Her eyes met his and they widened in surprise. “Or Finn, or Rose.” Her cheeks were flushed but she nodded before she looked away. He let out a breath.   
“I’m going to go shower, make us some food. Is there anything else that I can do for you? To help you?” She shook her head. He brushed her hair away from her face again. After days of not being able to be in her presence he couldn’t stop touching her now that he started.   
It pained him to leave her. But knew that nothing would solve how she was feeling right now. So he did what he had to, he peeled himself away to go shower, ensure that if she was carrier that he wouldn’t get sick, too. Although they had been so close for so long that it have been too late.   
After showering he put together a quiche, saving time on a premade crust, and threw that in the oven and made a quick detour to his office to make a call.   
Opening his contacts in his phone he dialed the number he least liked to call.  
“What are you doing calling me on a Saturday?”  
“Hux, I need you to do something for me, I need it done by Tuesday.”  
“Gosh you’re sooooo polite.”  
“I pay you a lot of money so my poor attitude should probably be the least of your concerns.”  
“Fine, what is it.”  
“I need you to draw up a will.”  
Thick silence rang across the line.  
“Don’t tell me you’re sick. You never leave your house. ”  
“No. But what’s going on is serious. That woman that moved in with me. I need you to make sure she’s taken care of if something were to happen to me.”  
“Well I must say, sounds like someone has got it bad.”  
“Shut up. Just do it.”  
“I’m going to need to get some of her information in order to make that official. Also, when you say taken care of what do you mean?”   
“She gets the apartment, a trust put in her name for the annual costs related to the apartment that includes but is not limited to building association fees, utilities, repairs, you name it put it in there. On top of that I want her to have access to 75,000 dollars for the next three years. If she spends it or keeps it, it doesn’t matter, but we’ll be entering a recession and I don’t want her floundering in debt.” Ben swallowed hard.   
Hux cleared his throat.  
“And if you don’t die on Wednesday and live to the ripe old age of 80. Or a miracle happens and you marry someone that isn’t her, what am I to do about that?”  
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I want this drawn up for now.”  
“You know you’re worth more than the money you are putting into these little nest eggs. What about the rest?”  
“Hmmm.” He rubbed at his chin finally having shaved. “Set up a charity foundation, give her the option to have a say where the money goes.”  
“What do you even know about this girl?” He could hear a hard edge in Hux’s tone, whether from concern or judgement he couldn’t say.  
“Enough. Just get it done.” He rumbled into the phone.  
“Anything else your highness.”  
Ben let out a sigh at his attorney and longtime friend’s attitude.   
“No. That’ll be it. Thank you, Hux. Let me know if I can answer any more questions for you.”  
“Yeah, yeah. You know it would be good if your Saturday phone calls didn’t usually pertain to work.”  
“You and my mother both.”  
At that Hux let out a chuckle. The two said their goodbyes. Ben went back to putting together something to eat and trying to decide what to do with Rey.


	6. Day 6

Ben

Ben woke with a start. It was early enough to still be dark out. He felt restless and knew Rey would still be asleep for hours yet. He looked at his phone to check the weather and decided on going for a run. He dressed in a tank top and running shorts knowing he’d be working up a sweat. He put his phone in his arm band so that he had it in case Rey needed him. The streets were quiet, but no more than usual for 530 on any Sunday morning. He hadn’t been to the gym in 3 weeks and hadn’t gotten around to running since the day Rey started her quarantine. It felt good to get his blood pumping again, sweat beading on his forehead by mile one. 

His thoughts ran to the events of the past few days. He thought of finding Rey the day before, drowning in her grief. Thought of how they’ve gotten closer the past week. He knew he cared for her, but did he love her? Or was it just infatuation because her smile brightened his otherwise meagre existence. 

Would he tend to her if she caught the virus? He knew without even completing the thought, that yes, he would. He would put every resource he had into making sure she was ok. Would he do the same for others that he knew? His parents had each other as well as their own resources, Poe had Finn, and Hux… well Hux had Phasma. It wasn’t like he didn’t care, or wouldn’t do what he could to help those in his circle, but the intensity to be _the_ person just wasn’t there. There was more worry about putting himself in harms way than there was yesterday when he took care of Rey.

He raised his eyes to the sky to watch the sun rise over the buildings. Light reflecting off of the lake causing him to squint as he ran his way back toward the apartment building. He knew eventually he would have to talk to Rey about how he felt, but it would need to wait. He would not do to her what he did to her the other day. Tell her something big that she can’t reasonably escape from. He didn’t know if she returned his feelings, but he didn’t want her to feel obligated to explore them either. He knew she hadn’t dated since she moved in, she was always open about who she was with and it was almost always Finn with the exception of the one weekend she had left to visit Rose. He had been attracted to her since the day she moved in. It wasn’t too strange of a concept, he may have been a bit of a recluse but he had a pulse. He would take whatever he could get with Rey. He wasn’t some asshole who would expect all or nothing.

Heavy in his thoughts he took the 5 flights of stairs up to the apartment. He keyed open the door and raised the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat of his brow. He made a bee line for the kitchen to grab a glass of water that he gulped down quickly. He took off his shirt as he walked into the living room and laying out a yoga mat, deciding on pushups, planks and sit ups to round out his work out. He had to go to the very basics since he couldn’t go to the gym and hated the idea of a home gym. He got to work using the floor of the living room as his workout space. He was about 10 minutes into a cool down when he heard a racket out on the balcony, startling him out of his concentration.

He saw a flash of yellow and black disappear from view of the patio door and smirked at what must have been Rey being startled to see him half naked in their living room. He chuckled to himself and went back into his plank before heading to the shower, feeling partially vindicated from the closet incident.

Rey

Rey had gotten up as the sun rose, feeling rested from going to bed early the night before and needing some fresh air. She went to go out to the patio and saw a big plastic tote. Curious she examined it, seeing a note taped to it saying open me. She pried off the lid to find it filled with craft supplies. Mostly yarn but there were notions and knitting needles. On top of the little cakes of yarn was a card. She opened it.

_Rey,_

_I know this is crossing some lines, but I just wanted to make sure you were ok and had enough to take your mind off of being cooped up in there. I got this from Amilyn’s shop, she’ll be expecting an email from you when you’re ready for her knitting classes. Whether it’s today, tomorrow, or when all of this is over makes no difference to me. I admit I went a bit overboard when I was running errands last week, but you’re worth the trouble and I know that Amilyn’s shop is your favorite. Let’s just say I’m supporting small business. I’ll be honest I’m not a hundred percent sure what’s all in there, I told Amilyn that you would need supplies for a few weeks and that I knew you had talked enough for her to know the kinds of supplies you would need and like. I know it is hard for you to accept gifts and I’m sure more so now, but please accept this from me. I look forward to seeing what you make of what’s in there. Text me when you’re ready for breakfast._

_Ben_

Rey was touched and could feel herself choking up a bit with emotion. Damn that man. She appreciated the gesture and appreciated what he was able to do for Amilyn but it was too much. They hadn’t known each other long at all and were really only roommates that were becoming friends. Sure she had entertained the idea of them becoming more, she thought he was attractive and could see them dating. She appreciated that Ben would make a good partner, caring, attentive, and evidently hardworking and successful. She chewed her lip in thought placing the lid back on the box and brought it into the room to set next to her other tote. Determined she went to the patio and leaned on the rail a bit, basking in the early morning sun. She heard Ben come in and knew he must have gone for a run, it was too early to go do anything else.

She decided to pace a bit as she gave him time to shower from his run. She was had made it to the patio door and turned to go back when her eyes were caught by movement in the living room. Ben was shirtless and doing pushups in the living room. His arm and shoulder muscles rippling with the motions. Her breath caught in her throat and her mouth went dry. She knew he had to have looked good, but he could have been a damn super hero actor with what was hiding under his clothes. 

She was startled from her staring when Ben stopped his movements and held a plank position. It was then she came to herself and she realized that if he turned his head he would catch her staring. She made a hasty retreat, or tried to when her foot caught on the leg of the chair, she needed to catch herself on the patio table to keep herself from landing on her face. Aiming for speed over composure she scurried away from the scene of her crime.

Rey made it to her room and was mortified. It was one thing to accidentally walk in on your half-dressed roommate and make a hasty exit, it was another to stare openly at them before coming to your senses and nearly toppling over all of the furniture and nearly busting your ass on your clumsy retreat. Rey was not sure how she could recover from this. She knew that her retreat would have been noticed, she’s pretty sure that she was loud enough to wake the dead. 

She knew that Ben took care of himself, he worked out practically every day and filled out his shirts well enough that anyone with eyes would notice. But he was always fairly modest. He changed at the gym so she never saw him in his work out attire. To see him in running shorts and nothing else made her pulse race and her mouth dry. For the first time in a week she was grateful she wouldn’t have to spend too much time face to face. She felt her cheeks burning with her mortification. She paced nervously around her room chewing on her thumb before she remembered what she wanted to talk to him about. It would be a good distraction. She’d just dive right into that and ignore the fact that she saw her beyond hot roommate half naked and made a fool of herself on their patio.

She nodded to herself in reassurance and picked up her phone. She realized that she had several missed texts from a number she didn’t recognize. She ignored it and opened her text with Ben.

Rey: Ready when you are.

Rey: For breakfast.

He didn’t instantly answer she figured he was showering. She opened up the other message thread. 

Unknown: Hey i miss you. You should call me back.

Unknown: I know you miss me.

Unknown: ill stop by b like old times.

Judging from the time it was probably from someone who pulled an all-nighter drinking. She didn’t recognize the number and the area code wasn’t local. 

She deleted the thread assuming it was a misdial and turned on the TV to distract her until breakfast.

Ben

He got out of the shower to see texts from Rey on his phone. He decided on something a bit healthy for breakfast so he set about making veggie omelets and smoothies. He was about to flip them onto plates when there was a knock on the door. He looked at his phone to see if he had missed any messages about anyone stopping by.

He peeked out the peephole surprised to see a man he didn’t know. The man seemed to be looking up and down the hall and not paying attention to the door. Ben engaged the chain in the door to keep the man at a distance, he had heard of an increase of scammers lately, and cracked open the door.

“Can I help you?” Ben was suspicious, he didn’t recognize this guy from the building.

“Yeah, man is Rey in?”

Ben was confused and something about this guy made him bristle.

“Uhm. Excuse me who are you?”

“Surely she’s mentioned me, I’m Snap.” Ben couldn’t stop himself from reacting to the name. Who willingly called themselves Snap?

“No. I’m sorry. Look if you give me your number I can let her know you stopped by.”

“You’re kind of controlling. I won’t stand for that.”

Ben really didn’t like this guy.

“Look you need to go, but I’ll let her know you stopped by.”

The man stiffened seeing that he wasn’t going to get anywhere, a whiff of stale alcohol and sweat entered the apartment with his movements. Whoever, this guy was, was someone Rey wasn’t expecting. 

“Sure man. Sure.” Ben didn’t wait for a proper goodbye before closing the door. Locking the deadbolt just to be sure.

He went back to the stove thankful the food was still hot and plated it. He walked Rey’s down to her room and knocked before returning to the kitchen to grab his. He decided on eating on the patio, sure that Rey would want to avoid the scene of embarrassment from this morning.

When he got to her door she was already sitting next to the patio door waiting for him.

“Ben this is delicious. Thank you!”

“Thanks.” He muttered into his coffee before taking a sip.

“Thank you for supporting Amilyn’s store, I appreciate it, I know she does too.”

“If you need anything else just let me know, I’m happy to get you whatever.”

“No Ben you’ve done enough. Besides I’ve got enough supplies to last me until Christmas and enough free time that I could actually learn how to knit you a sweater.” She waggled her eye brows at him playfully.

Ben chuckled and smiled that she accepted his gift. 

“I’ll accept anything you make, even ugly sweaters.”

She scoffed at him.

“How dare you! Any sweater I make will be posh and stylish.” She said haughtily digging into another bite of food.

“So what’s on the agenda today?”

“Hmmm.” She thought to herself. “It’s really nice. How about switching things up and gaming on opposite ends of the patio.” Was it him or were her cheeks a bit more pink than usual? “Sunlight sounds amazing.”

“As you wish.” He said with a slight bow of his head.

Rey chuckled at his antics.

They chattered on through the morning before going outside to the warm spring day. Ben enjoyed Rey being more to her old self again. He totally forgot to mention the strange visitor


	7. Day 7

Day 7

Rey

Rey woke up relaxed and refreshed. She felt good. She had a really fun day with Ben the day before, they teased and joked. He ordered pizza from her favorite by the slice place while he had one of their ridiculously huge salads.

Rey spent the afternoon working on the blanket while Ben did things around the house. It gave her some quiet time to reflect, and they topped off the evening with Outlander. 

As she got up she peered out at the patio door noting no new packages today. She couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed. She checked her phone and noted more texts from that number from yesterday but didn’t read them. She really needed to text that person back and let them know they had the wrong number, but that was a problem future Rey would handle. 

Seeing it was past Ben’s usual wake-up time she decided to get up and take a quick shower. He may have started work already. 

When she got out she texted him.

Rey: Breakfast?

BSolo: Already delivered. I got an early start this morning and didn’t want to wake you.

Rey: Thanks! :D

She opened the door to find a travel mug of coffee and one of those soup thermos things filled with oatmeal. He also left her little bowls of fixings to fix it how she liked. Smiling to herself she sat down with her meal and dug in. She was just finishing breakfast when there was a loud pounding on the front door. Her first reflex was to get up to answer it, but she quickly sat back down. She didn’t know why she was so anxious about just not answering the door. She heard Ben open it and muffled voices.

Then she heard footsteps approach. Who could be here? Her friends all knew she was quarantining so wouldn’t visit. Ben rarely had visitors, if he met with anyone it was usually outside of the apartment.

Then there was a knock on her door. 

“Rey, Can you open the door?” It was Ben, his voice wavering some.

“Yeah, coming.” She felt anxiety creep in her gut, what was this?

She opened the door to see a concerned Ben flanked by two police officers, both had on protective masks and latex gloves. She really had no idea what this was about and she could feel a bit of panic bubble up within her.

“Hi. Uhm can I help you?” She really had no idea how to respond but a life of living in the system made her distrustful of those with too much authority.

Both officers looked pointedly at Ben.

“Sir, if you could step into the hallway.” Ben bristled and looked indignant but had the good sense to do as he was asked.

The police waited for his exit before turning their attention fully to Rey. 

“Ma’am we’ve had a phone call about some possible concerns about your safety.” Rey was dumbfounded. She didn’t know what to expect but it certainly wasn’t that. Her confusion must have shown on her face.

“I believe the complaints were that you didn’t respond to some texts and that you were unable to respond when the person came to check on you themselves.” The other officer supplied in an attempt to be helpful.

“Are you sure this is regarding me?”

“You’re Miss Rey Johnson?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, this is regarding you.”

“I’m fine, as you can see.” She gestured around her.

“If you’re not fine we can take you out of here and place you somewhere else, a friend’s perhaps. The man you’re living with could easily overpower you, it wouldn’t be unusual for you to feel threatened by him.”

Rey bristled and her anxiety over this unusual situation finally shifted into anger. 

“Excuse me? Ben has been nothing but kind and helpful to me since I made the choice to be under this strict of a quarantine. I am unaware of any visitors or any texts.” It was then that she realized that she did have some unanswered texts sitting in her phone. She halted. “Anyone who I know would be needing to contact me has my information, and I respond to them when they reach out. I’ve had some texts from an unknown number that I didn’t answer, but I thought it was a drunken misdial.”

The police seemed uninterested in this part. One officer reached into his pocket and pulled out his card.

“Well, Miss if that’s all, we’ll be leaving.” He held out a card to her which she reluctantly took from him. “Contact us if you change your mind.”

With that they turned and left, leaving Rey confused. She heard them make their exit. Ben rushing into the apartment, obviously worried about what had happened. He approached her but kept a respectful distance away from her room.

“Did anyone stop by within the last few days?” She asked pointedly.

Ben looked exasperatedly at the ceiling with his hands on his hips. “Yes, but he seemed drunk and honestly I kind of forgot about it. He wouldn’t leave his number so I figured it wasn’t very important or legitimate.”

Rey didn’t know how to feel about that.

“When was this?”

“Yesterday morning while I was making breakfast.”

“How did you just forget that?”

“I got distracted with things and then we were just kind of hanging out so it slipped my mind. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it.”

“Hmm… Has this happened before?”

Ben looked surprised by the question. “No. I swear Rey.”

She nodded walking away from the door.

“Rey?” Ben asked, a pleading note in his voice.

“Let me just look at something quick.” She picked up her phone and went to her messages.

“What did they say their name was?”

“Uhm… Snape or something like that.”

Rey read the messages, the drunk ones from the day before as well as new ones.

Unknown: Hey you never got back to me

Unknown: Don’t ignr me

Unknown: is it that guy ishe dong this??

Finally Rey decided to respond.

Rey: Who is this?

She glanced up at Ben who watched her curiously but didn’t ask any questions.

Unknown: You don’t know? I just want to make sure you’re ok.

“Wait what did you say their name was?” 

“I don’t know snape, or snipe or something weird like that?”

“Do you mean Snap?”

“Yes! I just remember thinking it was weird and couldn’t be anyone’s real name.”

Rey: Is this Snap?

Unknown: Took you long enough to figure out lol

Rey: How did you get my contact information?

Snap: From HR, I told Mitaka I was worried and that I hadn’t heard from you.

Rey: I maybe talk to you once a month at our departmental meetings, I don’t see how that warrants calling the police for a welfare check.

Snap: C’mon Rey just being friendly, give a guy a chance will ya.

Rey: Look I told you a year ago that I wasn’t interested, that hasn’t changed. Don’t contact me again.

Snap: Its that guy you lvie with isn’t it.

At that Rey blocked his number and took screenshots of the conversation.

Ben

He felt like an idiot and wondered if any of this could have been prevented if he wouldn’t have just blown that guy off. He looked at Rey who was visibly shaken and had just tossed her phone down on the bed.

“Rey, are you ok.”

“Yes, no… I don’t know, it’s like the hits keep on coming. What’s next my former foster father tries to contact me.”

Ben didn’t know what to say to that and kept quiet, figuring that she’d keep talking. After several moments Rey didn’t continue but sat on the bed.

“Are we ok? Is there anything I can do?” He wasn’t honestly sure if she was mad at him or who she had been texting. She looked up at him mournfully and her lip quivered a bit.

“Yes. We’re ok.” She looked around the room a bit. “You’re already doing so much Ben.”

“Who is Snap?”

She huffed a laugh but there was no humor in it. 

“A guy from work, who had the audacity to ask me out when I first started even though at the time he was a supervisor to me. Turns out he was ‘concerned’ about me and got my contact info from HR.”

Ben bristled and curled his hands into fists that this slime ball would attempt to take advantage of her like that.

She flinched at his reaction, a look of worry marring her features.

Ben took a cleansing breath to try to relax.

“I’m sorry, I brought him to your door I never meant to cause you any trouble.” Rey stated with a deer in headlights look.

“Rey, it isn’t your fault. I’m not mad at you. I’m angry that he would try to take advantage of you like that and then continue to bother you like this. He’s a chauvinistic prick who I should have handled a little more effectively yesterday.” His anger on a steady simmer. He checked himself regaining his focus in how to support Rey. “Please don’t blame yourself, we’re ok. I promise.” As he said the words he wondered how similar his situation was with Snap’s. He would never go so far as to bother Rey if she wasn’t interested but still their scales weren’t balanced and here he was pining after her, that’s where they were similar, and that is where he discovered he was just a bit disgusted with himself. 

Ben was shaken from his thoughts with Rey suddenly moving towards the door. 

“I think I’m going to let you go back to work Ben. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, Rey. Sure. Just…. if you need anything you’ll tell me right?”

She wouldn’t look at him again but she nodded and shut the door.

Ben took in a breath striding to his office and shut the door, he picked up his phone and dialed Hux.

“Solo, two calls in one week. I’m gloating to your mother.”

Ben let out a sigh.

“I need you to do something for me.”

“Well, considering I’m still working on the last task you gave me, how important is this one.” Ben rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose taking a calming breath. Ten years of therapy had finally paid off.

“Hux.”

“Fine, what is it?”

“I need you to look into someone.”

He gripped the back of his chair in an attempt to not throw it across the room.

“You know you’re a writer and not a mob boss, right?”

“I am aware.” Ben grit out.

“And you are aware that I’m an attorney and not your henchman?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, just checking. Why don’t you share with me why you think me looking into someone like a PI is all of a sudden a job that I do.”

“Someone called the police to do a welfare check on Rey. She was pretty upset about it. She said that he was a coworker that had bothered her about going out with him before, he also showed up here yesterday.”

“This sounds like something you should talk to her about.”

“I did.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, humor me what did you learn.”

“I learned what I just told you.

“Did she identify this as harassment?”

“No.”

“Did the police come and do the welfare check?

“Yes.”

“How did they act?”

“A bit like I was holding her hostage.”

Hux hummed at that. Ben knew he was thinking so he gave him time.

“Look as your attorney I don’t like that they called the police and that you could end up in a police report somewhere over this. So, I’ll look into this, but not necessarily for the reasons you want.”

“Fine.”

“What’s the guy’s name?”

“Snap.”

“Wait what?”

“Snap.”

Hux chuckled over the phone.

“Ok, Snap. What’s his last name?”

“I don’t know but he was working at Resistance Plastics.”

“That’s really not that helpful, but I’ll see what I can pull up. If he continues to contact her or show up at the apartment let me know, we might be able to file for a restraining order or something. I’d also keep an eye out when you go places, he might take up following you if he thinks that will get him somewhere, and if that’s the case we might get lucky and be able to get the police to file a stalking charge, but if I’m being honest that would be a long shot..”

“Oh, joy of joys.”

“Yes, working for you will finally be interesting for once.” Ben rolled his eyes again. 

“Is that all?”

“Ah, I see you’ve called me and now act like I’m the one inconveniencing you. How typical. Yes, I suppose it is. I suggest you talk to her more, see what other information you can gather. See if it’s as serious as it has the potential to be.”

“Sounds good. Bye, Hux.”

“Bye Ben, do say hello to your mother for me.” Hux chuckled to himself as Ben hung up on him.

Rey

Rey felt awful. She didn’t intend to cause Ben all of this trouble. She wasn’t upset with him for not saying anything about Snap showing up yesterday. He said he had been drunk, and her name was on a mailbox downstairs so it wasn’t so farfetched that Ben just didn’t think it was a legitimate concern. She knew they should talk about it. Come up with a plan in case he did continue to contact her or come to the apartment. She was already halfway through sending an E-Mail to HR. What they did had to have been illegal right? She thought back to how creeped out she had been by Snap when she first started working for Resistance. She set a boundary early on, threatened to report him to HR, and made sure she was never left alone with him, which wasn’t hard after she was promoted to a different department.

She sent the email and paced the length of the room. Ben looked so sad when she shut the door on him. She felt like she created that, but she needed space to think. She needed space to come out of her head. When he had gotten angry she had become fearful, and she knew, logically, it wasn’t at her. But she couldn’t help but respond as she would have as a child. She probably needed to discuss that with him, too. He looked upset that he had caused her to react like that. She needed him to know that she wasn’t upset or afraid of him, that they were ok as long as he was ok. It was just all so much to deal with. 

But she had to deal with it. She realized that she wasn’t alone. This wasn’t like when she was in foster care and group homes, she just needed to suck it up and to talk to the people in her life. Talk to Finn and Rose. Talk to Ben. Even though he was new to her life she knew he had her back. If this past week wasn’t evidence enough of that she didn’t know what would ever possibly convince her. So she needed to show that she trusted him and that he was seen, so that way when he needed her she would know how to support him back. It was hard for her to learn that relationships were a give and take over time, not something that was put on a payment plan. So she swallowed her nerves and took the first step towards showing him that he mattered to her, too.

Rey: I’m sorry about my reaction towards you earlier. I was hoping we could talk about it when you get the chance? I know you’re working today and I don’t want to interrupt you. So really whenever you get the chance will be enough.

BSolo: No I understand, I got angry and you had every right to react that way. But talking sounds good Rey. Can we do a late lunch today? I’m almost done with what I wanted to do today.

Rey: Sounds like a plan. Text me when you’re ready.

BSolo: As you wish


	8. Day 8

Ben slept late. He and Rey had stayed up late talking into the night. He told her about contacting his attorney which she seemed to understand and take in stride. They talked what they’d do if Snap came back or texted her again. Rey had confided further in him about her childhood. The barely controlled anger of some of her guardians and the food insecurity being the larger themes. He was able to confess to her his own history of his parents hands off approach to parenting, the struggle to control his own temper and the years of therapy he had gone through in order to manage it better. They talked late into the night until Rey turned off the lights and put her crochet project away. He couldn’t always see it well but he liked how she could work on it without really focusing on it.

They google chatted until Rey fell asleep in his bed, well her bed, he guessed. Either way something possessive and proud perked up at the thought, he shook it away. He would like to say that he didn’t spend too long of a time watching her sleep in the faint glow of the computer screen, something warm unfurling at knowing she was safe and taken care of. But that would be a lie, instead he laid next to her watching her eyes flutter in her dreams until he fell asleep.

He turned an looked at his laptop, the screen black, the battery probably died hours ago. He sat up, snapping the lid shut and dragging himself out of bed, hoping today would be better. He grabbed his phone and saw that Rey was already up.

ReywithanE: Good Morning sunshine!

ReywithanE: ……

ReywithanE: Wait… are you still asleep?

ReywithanE: wow this is one for the history books ladies and gentlemen

If anyone saw Ben right now they’d catch him smiling like a fool.

Ben: Alright, alright. I’m up.

ReywithanE: Feed me Seymour!

Ben chuckled to himself and made his way to the kitchen.

Ben: You are in rare form today.

ReywithanE: What can I say I’ve been up since the sun came up and I am ready for the day.

Ben: So what’s the plan? I’m caught up enough that I can take the day off.

ReywithanE: OMG really? That’s awesome. I wish we could leave the apartment, or I could even leave this room.

Ben: You’re officially over half way if that makes you feel better.

ReywithanE: Hey, I hear you out there. I need you to go out onto the balcony. Like right now. XD

Ben: Uhhh… ok. Hold on.

He walked out onto the balcony and on the table placed inside a tote was a black, grey and red blanket.

Ben looked at it but was careful not to touch.

Ben: Is this for me?

ReywithanE: Yes! You’ll need to wash it before you use it, but I just wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for me this week.

Ben: Rey it’s perfect, I wish I could take it out of the box. How do I wash it? I don’t want to ruin it.

ReywithanE: If you wash it with cold water and my woolite you can then let it air dry, its wool, heat will make it shrink and then you’d need a dollhouse for it to be useful.

Ben was touched. Nobody had ever made him anything before. 

Ben: Was this the stuff Amilyn sent over?

ReywithanE: Only the red. She must have remembered what I bought before and thought that it would go well with it if I hadn’t used it yet.

Ben: That’s nice, she’s really good at what she does.

He brought in the tote and poured the blanket into the washer and followed Rey’s instructions. He actually couldn’t wait to use it, to show off how much he appreciated it. He realized that no matter what happened he’d always have a little part of her. 

Rey was super excited that she had finished his gift. She would have waited a couple days to ensure that there were no germs on it but she was excited so she wiped down the tote, vigorously sprayed Lysol around. Rey knew that Ben would take precautions since he had been so careful about everything so far. She hoped he genuinely enjoyed it. She peeked at him through the window and his smile was so bright, she didn’t know if she had ever seen him so pleased. It wouldn’t be the world’s biggest blanket, and definitely not a size that would fully cover Ben but it would be something nice to snuggle with all the same. She was pleased this morning when there was no more texts from Snap. She felt a feeling of relief that maybe things would be better. She was half way through her quarantine and she and Ben were really connecting and communicating, which was a positive and it felt good. She even had plans to google chat with Rose and Finn tonight. She liked spending time with Ben but she didn’t want to overwhelm him with her constant presence. She knew that he valued his alone time.

It wasn’t long before Ben knocked on the door to alert her to her breakfast.

When she opened the door she was so surprised that she actually squealed, she could hear his answering chuckle all the way down the hall.

It was a giant waffle, with strawberries, ice cream and a side of maple syrup. She laughed to herself as she picked it up and carried it into her room.

Rey: You remembered!

BSolo: Remembered what I don’t know what you mean.

Rey: My favorite breakfast.

BSolo: I think you were looking for the word dessert, I’m gonna come sit on the patio with you.

Rey: Wow when you play hooky you play hard.

Soon Ben was outside the patio and he had a waffle, like hers but with without the ice cream.

Rey opened the door.

“You forgot the best part!”

Ben looked at his plate and then looked right at her.

“No, I don’t think I did.”

Rey just rolled her eyes.

“You’re going to lose you girlish figure if you keep eating like I do.” She told him cheekily.

Ben barked a laugh at her.

“Oh, yeah what do you know about my girlish figure?” He raised an eyebrow at her and she suddenly felt herself blush, remembering her snafu from the other day.

She stammered a bit lowering her eyes to her plate.

“Nothing.” She stated as she took a bite. She would normally be rather annoyed by a shit eating grin, but Ben’s just disrupted the butterflies in her stomach and made her cheeks hurt.

“Ben this is delicious, what made you think of this?”

His smirk softened then and he shrugged.

“Nothing really, just thought you’d like a treat. Celebrate being over halfway out of there. When you get out for real we’re celebrating.” He took a hearty bite.

“Oh, yeah? With what?” 

“Steak, on the grill. Although I’m kicking myself over not picking up champagne.”

“Bah. I don’t care for it that much anyways.”

“So what are the plans for today?”

“Hmm google hang out with Finn and Rose after dinner. Other than that, I’m not sure. It’s a really nice day. Maybe read on the patio for a bit.”

“Sure thing. Anything you need for that?”

“No, I think I’ll be ok. I might contact Amilyn about that knitting lesson for tomorrow.” He gave her a soft smile at that.

“I’m glad you’re going to try that.”

“Me, too.” 

She and Ben had a fairly quiet day. They hung out, she sat on the patio and read while Ben cleaned and tidied the living room. It was rather domestic but she was glad for the company and his presence even when she vacuumed and cleaned her room while he sat on the patio.

For dinner Ben made a stir fry and made a box of brownies for her to have for her night with her friends. She really questioned why he was still single. If the way to Rey’s heart was through her stomach, she was head over heels in love after today.

BSolo: Let me know if you need anything in there, it’s no bother I swear.

Rey: You’re sweet, but I promise I’m good. J

She logged in to see Finn already waiting, Rose signed in a few minutes later.

Both of them had decadent desserts of their own.

“How did we all plan for dessert?” Rey asked, biting into her brownie.

Both Finn and Rose looked confused. 

“Uhm, apparently your boyfriend sent them.” Rey panicked a bit.

“My what?”

Rose laughed

“Rey, sweetie, Ben door dashed us desserts.”

Rey was overwhelmed by his sweet gesture.

“Now please tell us that you have locked that down.”

“What we’re just roommates, maybe even friends now.”

Finn laughed incredulously.

“Peanut, I love you. But you’re kind of being a bit naïve about this.”

“What do you mean?”

“You told your “roommate”” Finn had the audacity to use air quotes at her “you were having a friends night and he went out of his way to send us about a months’ worth of dessert each to make sure we were taken care of, that isn’t exactly picking up the tab at the bar.”

“Rey, sweetie, he likes you.” Rose interjected.

Rey felt her cheeks heat and immediately reached for her headphones. The wall in Game of Thrones wouldn’t have been thick enough for her to feel secure about having this conversation out loud.

“Guys, you can’t know that.”

“Do you like him?” Rose asked pointedly, Finn looked smug.

Rey stammered her answer, but felt it pointless to lie. They’d both known her for too long.

“Yes.”

“Tell me about how he acts around you.” Finn stated.

“He’s nice, he’s caring.” Rey shrugged it off.

“He bought you hundreds of dollars’ worth of yarn you ding dong.” Rose practically yelled, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her wine.

“What else has he done, Peanut?” Finn asked.

“He’s making sure I don’t have to worry about rent, he gave me his room because of the attached bathroom and the patio. He called his attorney about Snap for me.” She was starting to feel cornered.

“But you guys would have done the same thing if you could.”

“Yeah, but not after only knowing you for three months.” Rose stated, she scowled at the rebuttal.

“How does he respond when you ask him to do something?”

“He does it.”

“Without complaint?” Finn asked eyebrow raised.

“Well, yeah sometimes he jokes, like the last time he said… he said…” The words caught in her throat. 

“He said what, honey?” Rose asked in a coaxing tone that honestly came of as condescending.

“He said… as you wish.” Rey said muttered. Finn looked confused and Rose just hooted and hollered.

Rey finally realized why the movie had nagged at her the other day. It was what Wesley had said to Buttercup…

Her brain spiraled a bit. Did he feel the same way that she felt about him? Was he aware of how he felt and his how his actions were perceived?

“You ok Peanut?” Finn asked her a look of concern on his face.

“Yeah, if it’s true what do I do? And why didn’t he say anything?”

“Well, maybe he doesn’t want to be a creep, or doesn’t want to take advantage?” Finn hedged a guess.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to say anything unless he knows you feel the same?” Rose offered.

“He did get upset about Snap asking me out when he was my boss. He said it was chauvinistic of him.” She wondered if he was worried that he would come off as being controlling if he told her. She chewed on her lip in thought.

“So what do I do?” Rey asked taking a breath. She had dated before but it was always people from online or who had made the first move. Her experiences with relationships and dating was pretty limited.

“Well, there’ll be nothing fun until after your quarantine is over so I would think it best you wait until that’s over. That way if he doesn’t feel the same way you aren’t reliant on him to care for you.”

“But you said you were sure he did feel the same way.”

“Yeah, like 99.9% sure, but let’s just make sure we don’t end up in a mess.” Rey couldn’t help but feel like she was already in a mess.

“Just spend some more time with him, maybe flirt a bit to let him know you’re interested.” Finn stated.

“K. I think I can do that.” Finn snorted a laugh and took a bite of what looked like cake.

She could hear Poe cackling in the background.

“What?” Finn asked him.

Poe walked up from behind Finn and put his head in the camera frame.

“I’m sorry but you can’t just drop hints with him. You’re going to have to be direct.”

“How direct?” Rey asked, a bit offended for Ben’s sake.

“You can’t be subtle with that man, he’ll think it’s a joke or it’s not intended. I’ve known him since grade school, that man cockblocks himself.”

“Wow, Poe. You sound like a real supportive friend.” Finn deadpanned.

“I’m just saying Rey, emo said it best, as subtle as a brick in the small of his back is what you’ll need to be if you want him to catch on.”

“Do you think he feels the same way then? I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“I’m pretty sure that stick up his ass is always uncomfortable. But he’s always been transparent about his feelings and it’s obvious he likes you. If I were in your situation he would have packed me off to his parents on Monday instead of dealing with me.” Rey understood Poe’s point, but if she would have to quarantine with him she would have shipped him off too.

She chatted with Rose and Finn a bit longer, both of them catching her up on how things were going on their end. When she hung up the call she got ready for bed and turned on the fireplace just to have the soothing light. She had a lot to think on. Let’s just say they both liked each other equally, they still lived together and that could end up being a nightmare if the relationship didn’t work out. What if he actually became famous? Would she be able to handle that? Women would flock to him, would he still like her enough? 

She curled up under her weighted blanket and drifted off thinking about all the what-ifs a future with Ben could hold. 


	9. Day 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't very long, 14 days is a very long time when you're in quarantine. Stay safe everyoone.

Day 9

Rey

She woke up late with a bit of a headache. She rolled away from the sun streaming in through the patio doors and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She felt nervous about interacting with Ben. Did he really like her? Have feelings for her? She figured the signs were there if she allowed herself to see them. The gifts. What were the love languages again? Gifts, acts of service, time… she couldn’t remember the rest, but he’d given her those three is spades. She considered the things he had said to her the last week and a half and that they weren’t things he’d say if he didn’t mean them. He wouldn’t do these things if he didn’t want her here, he could probably afford to put her in a hotel for the next two weeks, or himself if it mattered so much to him.

She considered her own feelings. She liked him. She knew she did. But did she like him enough to risk what friendship they had? That they could live together and date and have it not be a mistake. Rey had a long life of abandonment. The little dating she had experienced was often rife with anxiety about them leaving and if they stayed past that, self-sabotaging behaviors showed up around month 2. She would need to be upfront about this with Ben if they did decide to date. Her therapist she had in college told her humans were messy, and that it’s important to be honest about your mess. Maybe restarting therapy wouldn’t be a terrible idea, either. 

She drug herself out of bed and grabbed a glass of water and Tylenol from the bathroom before curling back up with her phone. She had a few good morning messages from Rose and Finn. A message from Ben about how he had left her breakfast outside the door and that he would be in conference calls until 12:30. 

For breakfast she found cereal fixings, fruit and orange juice with her coffee. She dug in and contemplated her day. She had her knitting lesson at 2, so plenty of time to get set up for that. She was getting a bit stir crazy being cooped up, maybe she’d go for a run with Ben some morning just to take advantage of the fact she could. 

Ben

He had been in this call for 5 minutes and already his was ready to crawl out of his skin.

“I thought you were quarantining.”

“We are Benny.”

“Mother you are in your 70’s, you are higher risk. Why haven’t you been staying home?”

“Honestly, your father and Chewy have been hanging out in the garage, so why couldn’t I go with and chat with Maz.” 

“Because they’re even older than you are and Dad should be staying home, too.”

Leia sighed but didn’t look contrite. 

“Anyway, I spoke to Armitage the other day. He had some interesting things to say.”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and counted down from 5.

“And what would that be?” Ben asked not wanting to give his mother more than what he already had by his reaction. He was really off of his game.

“Well, he just said that you had made some changes to your estate. Are you planning on getting ill?”

“I feel like I could be sick now.”

Leia looked unimpressed.

“I don’t know how you could possibly get sick when you’re a few cats away from being a total shut in.”

Ben just rolled his eyes hoping, against his better judgement, that that’s all Hux let slip.

“How’s the roommate going anyway?” Leia said with a mischievous look and twinkle in her eye. He was caught out and he felt like a trapped rabbit.

“They’re fine.” Ben had been as evasive as possible when giving information about said roommate, it was all for naught at this point.

“I hear she’s in your will. Are you dating? Is she really your girlfriend? At this rate Benny it seems like you’re planning on getting married.”

“For fuck’s sake mom.” Leia just chuckled knowing that she had finally pushed him over the edge.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet her either way. You must be rather infatuated with her since you have yet to kick her out and are leaving her a hefty sum of money. Does she get your inheritance from us also?” Ben was going to strangle Hux the next time he would be able to be within 3 feet of him.

“We’re not getting married. She just lost her job and with the economy tanking I want to make sure she will be fine, she doesn’t really have any family here.”

Leia softened at that.

“Hm. Well. I’m glad you found someone that you like enough to consider like that Ben. We should do this over dinner sometime when you finally get the courage to ask her out.”

“It’s not that simple mom.”

“Sure it is. If you’d quit getting in your own way I imagine you’d quit writing horror and write something a little more wholesome.”

“What do you know about wholesome?”

Leia cackled.

“Well, I’m glad this pandemic hasn’t got you in the dumps.”

“Just stay home. Please. No more hanging out with uncle Chewy and Aunt Maz either.”

“Fine dear. Same time next week?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Maybe let me meet you roommate?”

His mom cackled again as he reached for the hang up button.

Ben felt better knowing that his parents would be staying home. He got up from his chair checking that he was still on time. He wanted to get lunch made and back to work. Although his editor was happy with what he had produced so far, there were some fixes that would need to be made before he resent it out the following night. He made his way to the kitchen digging out the chicken he had pulled out the night before. He had decided on buffalo chicken wraps since he knew Rey enjoyed spicy food.

He prepared his as a salad and plated Rey’s, putting dressing bottles on the tray for her to decide on. He added fruit to the side, he’d was glad that his produce box came on time this week. 

It was cold and had been snowing on and off all day so he decided on sitting in her doorway and talking with her there. He texted her to tell her so. 

Rey

They chatted some over lunch but Ben seemed quiet today. 

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, why?” His muffled response rumbled through the door.

“You just seem quiet today.”

“Hmm, am I? I don’t know. Just tired I think.”

“Is there anything I can do?” She felt helpless to do much but made the offer.

“No. I don’t think so.” He paused a let out a breath. “Unless you can find a way to keep my parents from being social butterflies.”

Rey huffed a laugh. “I take it they aren’t staying home.”

“No, I don’t think they’re going out much, but they’re still leaving the house and seeing a few friends. I feel like I finally got to a point where I can have an okay relationship with them and they’re just being so reckless.”

“Hmmm.” Rey didn’t quite know what to say to that. 

“They’re smarter than this. The both of them.”

“You’re disappointed?”

“Yes. I mean, if they’re not taking precautions it means others aren’t either. They live in a smaller town so the numbers are lower there, but that doesn’t mean that they are as insulated from it as I’d like. I just hate the idea of losing them after spending so much time at odds with them.”

“That makes sense. How long have you been talking again?” 

“Just under a year. Sometimes it still feels like a chore, and things are still tense between my dad and me but I still want the chance to make things better.” His voice wavered as he finished what he was saying. She felt like she was finally learning about the deeper parts of Ben, he allowed parts of himself to be vulnerable to her and all she could do was sit on the other side of the door. What could she say? She had little to no experience with family let alone parents. 

“Can you talk to them more now? I know it’s harder.”

“I do. We used to just do dinner every couple weeks and now it’s weekly skype calls. Honestly, it’s exhausting.”

“You seem fine interacting with me every day.” She had no idea what compelled her to say it. She didn’t realize what she’d

said until the words were falling out of her mouth. 

She heard him huff a laugh. “Well let’s just say you are much more pleasant than either of my parents.”

She laughed at that. “Well, maybe prior to emotional wreck me.”

“If you knew my parents you would know that even emotional wreck you is still more emotionally grounded than they are. I’ll take you having a panic attack over their anger management skills any day of the week.”

She could hear the smile in his tone.

“Sounds like your parents could go toe to toe with some of my former foster families.”

“Maybe. Anyway, I should get back to work, do you need anything?”

“No, I have my knitting lesson in a few minutes.”

“Good. I hope you like it.”

“Me, too.” She heard him moving away. “Ben!?”

“Yeah, Rey?” He called back. 

“Thanks for having lunch with me. We should continue that after all of this.”

“I agree.” 

With that she gathered up the supplies she would need and opened her meeting with Amilyn.

Ben

He didn’t know what compelled him to open up with Rey. He was very rarely open with anyone. But he felt like if he was going to be open with anyone it should be her. He was honest when he said he agreed with her about lunch, even if they didn’t date, he was drawn to her in a way. She made his day brighter, even if they were nothing more than roommates that were starting to be friends at this point. 

After work he decided to start planning for Rey’s first day out of quarantine. He knew he wanted to make the day as big and grand as he could. It may mean going to the grocery store to get more supplies, he’d have to figure out what he had left. 

The evening was spent fairly quiet, watching Outlander on Netflix and chatting back and forth. It was an interesting show and they were almost done with season one. Finally figuring out who everyone is and how they’re connected. Their conversation was much lighter. She had even came to the patio door to show him the little scarf she had started. It seemed a bit uneven but Rey seemed proud of how far she’d gotten with it in just a few hours. She beamed and her cheeks dimpled when he gave her a round of applause. 

When he went to bed he pulled the blankets over him, including Rey’s. It was soft and smelled a bit like her. He felt the softness of the materials and thought of her as he drifted off.


	10. Days 10-14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kind of struggled with this chapter. So I settled on let's get through the dull days so we can get to the good day, as I think we all wish we could fast forward to. So if we can muddle through this the next chapter will be much better... hopefully.

Day 10

Rey

The morning had been dull and Rey knew she had spent too much time on social media. The reports from the east coast were frightening and ramping up her anxiety. Rey had decided to thoroughly clean her space. She knew that it would only be a few more days before she would have to relinquish it back to Ben. She texted with Finn and Rose but conversation was halting as they were both trying to work. She paced the balcony a bit but couldn’t shake the feeling of overall dread. 

It was well after lunch before she finally settled back on her knitting project. She knew that there were plenty of imperfections but she was pleased that it was turning out well and with each row she was getting a little better. Ben had spent all morning working and said that he would be working into the evening in an attempt to get ahead on the weekend. She couldn’t help but feel alone and isolated today. She didn’t blame Ben he had done so much for her, and it wasn’t his fault that she was a bit of an extrovert. She couldn’t help the feeling that she’d end up following him like a lost puppy once she was able to leave this section of the apartment.

Ben

Ben had spent all morning writing to try and get ahead of some of his work. It wasn’t that he didn’t have ideas, but it was time consuming to get it typed out and in an order that made sense. It probably didn’t help that he had ideas for a new story bouncing around his head that he had to make notes on as he was working.

He had sent out texts to Rose and Finn in an attempt to get them to spend a day with Rey. It’s not that he didn’t think she could manage a day to herself, but he wanted her to have good distractions so he could have time to prepare for her first day out of quarantine. He would have to go to the store soon. He was running low on meat and produce. Dried goods seemed to be going well, but the fruit and veggies he had picked up just kept getting sadder and sadder. He knew what he needed and had started a list. He would text Rey to see if she needed anything, no sense in her going out in a couple days to get something that he could just get now.

Day 11

Rey

Although she felt frustrated and down yesterday, today seemed to be a better day. She felt good about the cleanliness of Ben’s rooms. She made plans with Finn and Rose to have a movie marathon night tomorrow. Ben was going to run to the store on his day off, so she had put in a small order with Amilyn that he would pick up for her. She really wanted to make something to brighten up the apartment to show her gratitude to Ben. She also sent Ben a list of food as well as some more cleaning supplies.

She looked forward to being out in open spaces again. Sure Ben’s rooms and the balcony were good sized but it was still stressful to be so contained all of the time. Although, the weather wasn’t bad it still was just barely spring and was often cold or rainy. She was half tempted to take up running just to have a reason to go outside and not freeze. 

Day 12

Although Ben normally took off weekends he told Rey he was going to get caught up extra on work and do some deep cleaning of the apartment. Finn and Rose were supposed to have a movie marathon with her to distract her. He stopped at Amilyn’s and picked up Rey’s and his order. He stopped and got groceries and immediately regretted going on a weekend. He was careful to wear a mask that Amilyn had given him. He went to a department store and picked a few more things that he needed for his projects. 

When he got home he had Lunch with Rey. He installed a small TV onto the wall of the media room so that way she could cast TV or video tutorials while she sewed. He repurposed one of his shelves into a craft shelf for her, laying out some of the fabric and other sewing supplies, he also set up a table that he had picked up from Amilyn to put Rey’s sewing machine on. He grabbed one of the spare dining chairs to sit at the table. As excited as he was about showing it to her, he was equally anxious about her reaction. He still had a few days before the unveiling and was still unsure of how Rey would take it. Sure it would offer her space and an opportunity to craft while everything was locked down, but he didn’t know how she would react to the obvious work and cost he had put into this. She seemed to be better at accepting gifts and help from him, however he had a sense that he was pushing his luck.

Rey

She had heard Ben banging around the apartment. She knew he had gone to run errands in the morning and he said he’d be doing some work around the apartment. She thought maybe he’d just run a vacuum but at this point it sounded like he was moving furniture around. She shrugged it off as him being restless and went about her own afternoon of filling time before movie watching with Finn and Rose.

Rey had finally heard back from HR about her complaint about Snap, it seems they had sent it at end of day yesterday. Although it was nice they responded at all, they mostly brushed it off, identifying that they were not at fault for his contacting her and that they were no longer responsible for his actions. That seemed to imply that Snap no longer worked for the company. She didn’t seem to know what to make of that but forwarded the email to Ben’s attorney just to be sure. The remainder of the email was them reminding her that she was still laid off until further notice, like she didn’t already know.

She was restless again after that, despite having things to look forward to tonight. She decided on finding ways to make a special day for Ben since she’d be out of quarantine soon. She knew that he was going to celebrate her freedom, she also wanted to celebrate his reduction in responsibility around the apartment. She knew he didn’t mind hanging out with her and doing things for her. She also knew that he had tended to keep to himself before all of this started and wanted to give him that option back, despite being greedy for time with him. 

Ben

He was pretty pleased with himself by the time dinner rolled around. He was a bit later with dinner than he would have liked, but he had accomplished everything that he had set out to do. Such as rearranging the living room to be more “lounge on the couch for a movie” friendly, he really just added pillows and dragged the ottoman out of the storage and put the coffee table off to the side of the couch. It wasn’t as convenient of a flow to walk through but may just be more comfortable overall. He knew she’d see it if she walked to this side of the balcony but was less worried about that. He also cleaned and tidied her room for her. It wasn’t that it was particularly dirty, but thought it would be nice that all she’d have to do is remake the bed and put her clothes away. He had also installed one of the small fireplace TV stands in her room, she didn’t have a TV in there but she seemed to enjoy the one in his room, and he knew that she used the gas one in the living room on occasion. He went to bed that night excited for the next few days to pass. 

Day 13

Rey

The night before had gone well. She had a lot of fun watching movies with Finn and Rose. Ben brought her hard cider with her dinner so she could have a drink while she watched. Rose and Finn only chuckled indulgently at her when she told them that they hadn’t even hardly spoken for the last few days. If she was being honest she was losing her nerve on moving forward with Ben. Sure he was always attentive but the last few days he had been so busy he had hardly spoken to her outside of meal times. If he was truly interested in her wouldn’t she be able to tell, wouldn’t he be acting as he had the previous week?

Ben

He couldn’t seem to stop pacing. He was anxious for Rey to be able to come out. He didn’t want to rush her or overwhelm her. He had already gone for a run and fixed breakfast for the two of them. The rooms were all ready for Rey’s release. He knew that he had spent the last few days away and knew that he wanted to work today. He was close to being ahead of his own self-imposed deadlines so he could spend Tuesday with Rey, maybe even Wednesday if she’d have him around. She had just one more day of quarantine and then he could see her smiling face without a barrier. He was beyond ready.

Day 14

Rey

She woke up to her phone ringing.

“Hello?” She answered, not even bothering to look at the screen.

“Ah, yes good Moring. Is this Rey Johnson?”

“Yes? Who is this?”

“This is Armitage Hux. Ben’s attorney.”

“Oh!” Rey immediately sat up.

“Yes, I received the email you’ve sent. I must say that it would look like he no longer works for the company. I would also suggest that you stay away from him, he seems to be quite troubled and has had some pretty alarming behaviors toward other women in the past. I’m sorry that I didn’t let you know sooner, but I’ve understood from your roommate that you’ve been under quarantine and I didn’t want to alarm you until I felt assured of the information that I had.”

“No, that’s fine. I understand. Is there anything further I can do?”

“No, it seems he’s had stalking level behaviors before, but never formally charged. So just be mindful if you go out, always have you’re phone handy. Take that beast you refer to as a roommate if you do go places. That may be a deterrent. Don’t be afraid to take pictures of anything suspicious. I already sent Ben a text about having a camera installed on your front door since he’s gotten into your apartment building before.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, you can.”

“How did you learn all of this?”

“Oh, most of it is public record, you just have to know where to look and who to ask.” He said rather non-chalantly.

They said their goodbyes after that. Rey felt kind of sick about the call, her nerves returning. She didn’t want to bother Ben with it but knew that it was best that they talk about it.

Ben

Was pulled from his work by a text from Rey. He had already spoken to Hux so knew what to expect. He reassured her that installing the camera wasn’t a hassle and something that he had considered doing anyways. He took her breakfast and chatted with her a bit about their plans for the day. He was excited for tomorrow morning and was already on track for how far he wanted to be with his work. 

He had the rooms arranged how he wanted. He had the menus planned for the day. He knew that she’d probably be itching to cook herself but he honestly wanted to make it a day of celebration for her. She could cook the rest of the week if she really wanted to. 

It was time to start cooking dinner by the time Ben quit work for the day. He had gotten as far as he could and was satisfied with where he was with his deadlines, at this rate he could probably take Thursday off as well. He cooked pasta for them and sat in Rey’s doorway chatting with her. 

“So what would you like to do tomorrow?”

“Get out of this room? No, offense it’s very nice, but I think I’m going stir crazy in here.” He huffed a laugh.

“Well, I have food planned so far for tomorrow, I know you like to cook on occasion and figured if you wanted to take over at all it could be after tomorrow. I have the day off, so if you want to go to the park or a walk…” It made him feel a bit presumptuous. “I understand if you’re a bit sick of me and want to go off and do things on your own…” He cut himself off from continuing to ramble.

“No, a walk with you would be nice, and food, too. I don’t know, maybe play some stuff by ear? I feel like impulsivity has been at an all-time low lately.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He nodded.

They chatted a bit longer before she excused herself and he went on his way take care of the dirty dishes. He didn’t know how he’d sleep but he imagined it would be an early morning, excited for Rey to wake up and start the day. He felt oddly like a kid the night before Christmas. 


	11. Day 15

Day 15

Rey woke up early, the morning light was barely breaking through the window. She quietly got up not wanting to wake Ben. She had never felt so excited about mornings in her life. She thinks she finally understood the appeal of Christmas.

She took the extra precaution of checking her temperature with a thermometer that Ben had purchased when she started her quarantine, 98.1 perfect, she had always run a bit low.

It felt strange to walk to the door with the intent to leave the room. Sure she had opened the door to take food Ben had left or to leave her dirty dishes or garbage, but not to step foot out into the hall. It was dark when she walked into the hallway, the light from the living room windows barely making its way through the darkness to her door. She tiptoed down the hall taking a deep breath, noticing how stale the air in her room must have been with the limited circulation. The smell of Ben permeating through the apartment, something that had been diminished with her stay in his space. She still wore his hoodie when she went outside, but in all honesty all of the clothes she took in with her had desperately needed a wash. She finally made her way into the living room, fully taking in the rearrangement. 

She started at the creek of a floor board and turned to take in Ben’s dark form coming towards her down the hall. She took in his dark shirt that clung to his shoulders and stretched across his chest, his sleep pants that didn’t quite meet his ankles. She had seen him practically every day for the past 4 months and felt like she was finally really seeing him. There was no patio door, video screen, or fearful hesitance between them. She could feel her cheeks ache with smiling at him.

“Did I wake you? I’m so sorry.” She didn’t know why she was whispering.

“No, I’ve been up.” His mouth did that thing it did when he was thinking before he spoke. “I’ve been looking forward to today.”

“Yeah?” Her eyes darted to the ground before meeting his again.

“Yea.”

She wrapped her arms around herself, noticing the early morning chill of the apartment. 

“How about some coffee?” Ben asked as he moved past her, he walked by the couch picking up a throw and turned to drape it around her shoulders before moving to the coffee pot.

“Yes, please and thank you.” She wrapped the blanket around her, taking the scent of Ben’s laundry soap.

“You don’t have to you know. I am fully capable of being on coffee duty today.”

“Nope. You can be on coffee duty a different day. Let me have one more day where I take care of stuff, you enjoy the freedom to walk freely around the living room and kitchen.” He gestured around them, a joking quality to his tone.

She watched him as he set to his task, pouring coffee grounds into the filter. He pulled down her favorite oversized mug and slid it over to her so she could put in the amount of creamer she liked.

“So what would you like to do today?” He asked over his shoulder while he poured the water in.

“Hmmm, maybe a walk?”

“Sure.” He hesitated a bit before continuing. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“If you’re free.”

“Yup, I got all day… tomorrow too.” He said the last part kind of quiet, and she grinned and a laugh bubbled up.

“Well, we’ll have some fun then.” He turned to look at her and nodded.

“There’s something I want to show you first.”

“Oh?” She looked at him puzzled.

“It’s a surprise though.”

“Ben.” She felt overwhelmed for a moment. “You’ve done enough, really.”

“If you hate it or are uncomfortable with it, I’ll return it or donate it, but please can I show you first before you decide what you want to do with it.”

“Ok.” She nodded rather stiffly.

“So, are you gonna close your eyes or do you want a blindfold.” She felt her heart race at his softly spoken words. 

“I’ll close my eyes.” She felt nervous, why did she feel so nervous.

She started a bit when his warm hand took her elbow, seeking her hand from under the blanket. She offered it to him and he gently tugged her down the hall opposite of the room she had been staying in, toward her own room.

She shuffled along with him, as he seemed to take slow strides down the hall. She had expected them to go all the way to the end, but couldn’t possibly have gone that far when he stopped abruptly and she bumped into his sturdy frame. He placed both hands on her shoulders to steady her.

“Keeping your eyes closed?” 

“uh huh.” She nodded.

“Absolutely no peeking.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She squeezed her eyes shut and listened to the turn of the door knob. She felt him move around to behind her and guide her forward through the door way.

“Ok, open them.” His low voice rumbled in her ear, causing a shiver to go up her spine and goose flesh to rise up on her arms. He seemed to think she was cold and rubbed her arms before seemingly catching himself and halting the motion.

She opened her eyes.

Her breath was taken away. Before her sat the sewing machine she had been eying at Amilyn’s complete with a nice work table and next to it a shelf filled with fabric and a little basket of sewing supplies. She didn’t know whether to cry from the sweetness of the gesture, or kill him for doing entirely too much the past two weeks. She felt tears well up and her chest tighten.

“If you don’t like it Amilyn said she’d take the returns, or we can donate it to one of the shelters or something… Rey…”

She must have been quiet too long. She spun on him still unsure of how she was going to respond to him. What she saw when she turned was not some cocky man who had thrown too much money around, but someone who was so unsure of how their gesture would be received that, that was what decided for her.

Ben

He was entirely unsure of how Rey was going to respond. He was panicking a bit now, his jaw clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should fully prepare to apologize. 

She stiffened after she opened her eyes and she took a few steps forward taking it all in. 

So he spoke up, in an attempt to draw any kind of response from her.

When she spun around he was half expecting her to yell at him or storm out, he could see her eyes brimmed with tears and her cheeks pinked in anger or some other feeling that he couldn’t read.

Instead of turning on him to shout at him her eyes softened, and she flung herself at him and a hug that felt more engulfing than possible from her small frame. He stiffened in surprise before leaning into it and letting out a breath of relief as he returned her hug. As he wrapped his arms tightly around her she just seemed to relax more which just encouraged him to curl fully around her. She fit so perfectly in the space.

She muffled something into his chest and he regretted having to pull away some to hear her properly.

“What?”

She huffed a laugh. “No more gifts. I need you to swear, no more. This is lovely, and I thank you, but this is too much, it’s all too much.” She had started to sound a bit frantic, searching for words so he indulged himself and pulled her in tighter.

“Okay, okay.” He acquiesced. “No, more. At least not without your permission.”

She sighed heavily at that.

“Why?” She gestured to the room behind her.

He shrugged, knowing in part why but not quite wanting to divulge his feelings at this point.

“I wanted to stimulate the economy.” She rolled her eyes at him then and slowly pulled away from him.

“Ben Solo, you’re trouble.” He barked a laugh then.

“I’m sure my mother would agree.” She laughed in return and that was when he knew everything between them would be fine.

“So, breakfast and coffee?” He asked, turning when she nodded to head back to the kitchen. He noticed that she seemed to linger in the room before following behind.

“Do you want to know something funny?” Rey asked him as he poured their coffee into their mugs.

“What’s that?”

“I was considering asking if I could use that room for a sewing room when I started working again. I was willing to pay more rent, too.”

“Really?” Ben looked at her over his shoulder while he pulled out breakfast ingredients from the fridge.

“Yup.”

“Why didn’t you ask about it?” 

“It was your space, and my time here was supposed to be so short lived.” He nodded, unsure how to respond. He could see her point.

“What made you consider changing your mind about asking?” 

Rey shrugged. “We just got on so well. I stopped worrying about being too much for you to handle. I figured if you didn’t want me here I’d end my lease and move to my own place anyway.”

“Hm.” He hummed mulling over their breakfast choices. “Waffles or French toast?”

“Is there ice cream?”

“Is there ice cream? What kind of question is that?” He cocked his head at her before smirking. “I’m quarantined with you during a pandemic, of course there’s ice cream.” She gave him a full on laugh then, swatting at him but not making contact.

“Well if you’re going to be a jack ass, you can answer your own questions then.” She said haughtily.

“Yes, ma’am. Waffles it is.” He stole a glance at her and she was beaming. He knew then that this was what he wanted to have every day if she’d let him.

Rey

They ate breakfast chatting about what all Rey wanted to do with her new found, albeit limited freedom.

After Rey cleared away the dirty dishes, Ben attempted to assist but Rey just shooed him away, they got dressed for their walk. It was still early morning and as they walked the downtown streets some traffic flowed but not nearly as much as what would normally be there. 

Rey thought quietly to herself as she strolled, taking in the fresh crisp air. It was only March and still cold in the mornings, always a threat of a light snow in the forecast. As dead as the streets had been it was interesting to see things still open, some of her favorite restaurants with signs telling you how to order online, offering delivery or advertising alternate open locations. 

They were about to pass by one of her favorite coffee shops when she halted in her footsteps, her eyes catching on another person across the street.

Ben turned to her a look of confusion on his face.

“Everything, ok?”

“Don’t look.” She saw that Ben managed his impulse well, his eyes darting around them but his body didn’t move.

“What?”

“Snap is sitting on the bench across the street.” He nodded, understanding.

“Ok. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know…. Can we get our phones out like we’re going to order a coffee?” Rey tilted her head towards the door of the shop, a sign touting an order over phone for curbside pick-up. “Then maybe snap a photo or video of him or something?”

Ben’s nostrils flared and he worked his jaw, almost like he didn’t like the surreptitious act, but nodded in agreement as he dug out his phone as Rey grabbed hers. 

“I’m going to text in our order. Something caramel flavored?” Rey nodded, her fingers shaking suddenly with nerves. Her eyes darted to the bench noticing he was still there but seemingly interested in his own phone. Instead of calling she hit the video button in a hope to get him in view as she pulled it to her ear. She didn’t want to make it obvious what she was doing, not wanting to spook him. 

She couldn’t imagine that Snap lived in this area, the only people that tended to live in this neighborhood were a mixture of the well off and college students. It was a popular area to visit due to the shops and restaurants but with all of them closed it was hard to imagine why anyone who didn’t live in the area would be walking around here. It made her angry that he would continue to come into her space, but she didn’t want to confront him fearing that she would escalate his behaviors.

When she put her phone away she found she was shaking. Ben pulled her a little closer to him, she wasn’t sure if it was a protective gesture or a comforting one, but she was in that moment grateful for it and allowed herself to be pulled in. His arm draped around her shoulders and they watched the shop door for their order. 

“Hey, it’ll be ok.” Her murmured at her.

“Why is he doing this?”

“Probably has some control issues, I would guess.” 

She was interrupted by the barista coming out with their order. She watched Ben slide his card after handing her the drinks and watched him tip double the cost of what they paid. Suddenly she felt a little less like the sole focus of his generosity. 

He turned back to her then and took his drink, he placed himself between her and the street wrapping his unoccupied arm around her shoulders. She snuck a glance and saw that Snap was no longer on the bench. She wasn’t ready to be relieved yet, just because he had moved out of her line of vision didn’t mean that he wasn’t still watching them. 

Ben walked with her like that for the remaining walk to their apartment. It felt nice, having touch after so many days without. She wondered if she had ever really touched Ben before all of this. She had but not like this, it was always a hand on the arm as she moved around him in the kitchen or him bracing her arms after knocking into her in the hall, the brush of hands when handing off take out bags or groceries. With the exception of her panic attack day it was never as intentional and drawn out as this.

She realized she felt not just comforted but safe, despite her old co-worker knowing where she lived and her coffee place, she felt protected and cared for. For the first time in her life she felt like nothing could touch her. She wondered how long Snap had been following her before this, or how many days he had sat outside the coffee shop or their apartment building. She was glad she wasn’t living alone, she had seen too many things growing up and too many lifetime movies to feel safe living alone with Snap’s recent string of behaviors.

Ben

He was angry and keyed up as they finished their walk. He would like to say it was protectiveness over Rey that compelled him to tuck Rey under his arm as they walked. He knew there was some base part of him that felt possessive, not that she was his per say, but he felt like she was his to protect, to take care of, to keep safe, at least for now or for as long as she’d let him. 

He kept an eye out on their walk back, Rey seemed introspective curled in on herself and oh how he loathed the man that did this to her. His good sense had almost been lost. It took every ounce of self-control to reign in the impulse to walk across the street and pummel Snap within an inch of his life, but he stopped himself. He knew better than that, his parents had taught him how to play the long game. That’s how he got a good writing contract so early in his career and didn’t get pulled into the self- publishing game with Snoke worldwide despite the company’s best attempts.

He let them into the apartment ushering Rey in ahead of him and locking the door behind them. The security company would be coming next week to add a security camera to their front and balcony doors. Hux felt that the balcony cameras were a bit overkill, especially since they weren’t on the first or second floors but he wasn’t willing to risk it. 

“Ben?” Rey was worrying her lip between her teeth when he looked up at her.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I really just want that guy to leave you alone.” He let out a breath through his nose and re-centered himself. “Did you get a picture or video?”

“Yeah. I think so.” She was looking at her phone and nodded confidently.

“Good, send it to Hux.” She nodded, he needed to change things to lighten the mood a bit. He wouldn’t let Snap ruin their day. “Hey, why don’t we do a movie marathon on the couch, snacks, too many blankets, the whole bit.”

She grinned, her smile not quite reaching her eyes and she nodded and went off towards the bedroom to grab some of her things.

He took the time to let his emotions run through him, gripping the counter and closing his eyes he focused on his breath, counting down from 8.

“Hey Ben?” Rey called from down the hall.

“Yeah.” He turned and walked toward her voice.

“I’m going to throw in some laundry quick. Why don’t you pick the movie?”

“Yeah, is there something you’re in the mood for?”

“Something spooky maybe? We haven’t watched a horror movie in a while.”

“Ok.” She was right, they hadn’t watched anything scary since they had gone to the movies a few weeks after she moved in and she had reacted so strongly to a jump scare he thought he would have finger shaped bruises on his forearm. She had admitted after that scary movies weren’t really her thing, and he questioned it a bit now but he wasn’t going to voice that thought out loud. Maybe she needed it to help process what she was going through with Snap.

He decided on the IT movies, hearing they were good but not having watched them yet, waiting for the second one to come out before watching the first. He set himself up on the end of the couch without the coffee table, figuring Rey may want it to set things on it like her crochet work, or snacks. He knew he would snack very little, he could already feel his body revolting over the too sweet breakfast and extra coffee. He’d have to spend extra time at the gym when this was all over. 

Rey returned with an arm full of blankets and a strand of yarn dragging behind her, he chuckled at the sight.

“Moving in?” He teased.

“If you haven’t noticed I have managed to take over the majority of the apartment, it’s really just your office that’s left as your last sanctuary.” She jested back at him.

He chuckled. 

“So what’d you pick?” She asked setting down her pile.

“The IT movies.”

“Oh, good I’ve been wanting to see them.”

“Really?” He was surprised at that.

“Yeah, I like scary movies, I just can’t watch them alone and Rose and Finn both tend to prefer action or comedies.” She said as she arranged her little nest, disappearing to the kitchen to grab food and her coffee.

“You have scary books though.” 

“Yeah, but it’s easy to put those down, I don’t read them late at night, and not if I think I’m going to be alone. I like the thrill of it, but sometimes it sticks around a little too long.”

“Ah.” A question nagged at him since he first saw her with his book 2 months ago.

“So what about my writing?” He asked tentatively, picking at a fuzz on the hem of his top.

“Huh, oh. I like it, I do need to set it down a lot because it’s too much sometimes. But I enjoy it, the endings are a bit more surprising than some in your genre, but you’re not cliché about it either. I typically enjoy your characters best.”

He nodded, pleased with her reaction.

She finally settled in.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good. We’re going to watch these and when you’re up for it we’ll watch the original, it’s what got me into writing in the first place.”

“Ok, you’re on.”

Rey

She did well enough during the first move, burrowed in her blanket laying along the couch while Ben had his feet up on the oversized ottoman. At one point she tucked her feet under Ben’s thigh only to nearly jump out of her skin when he grabbed her ankle during a spooky scene. Whether he was joking or trying to be comforting was lost on her when they both dissolved into a fit of laughter and giggles at her ridiculousness. They actually had to pause and rewind a bit to catch what they missed.

After that they broke to make lunch and so Rey could change out laundry. She had decided on putting a few things back in her own room. 

When she walked in she let out an exasperated groan. This man was going to be the death of her if she didn’t kill him first.

After setting down her things she stormed off to the kitchen to give him a piece of her mind.

“Ben.”

“Hmm.” The man had very little guile and so was doing terrible at playing the whole innocence game.

“Would you like to explain to me what is currently in my bedroom?” His cheeks turned red to the tips of his ears. She really didn’t expect such a strong response to that question.

“Wh-what?” He stammered. 

“The fireplace that is currently in my room.” She stated a bit vehemently, he visibly relaxed and looked oddly relieved, she shook off her confusion.

“I’m sorry, I just noticed that sometimes when I would go out to the balcony that you would have the fireplace on and I thought it would be nice to let you continue that and that the one I have in my room won’t fit in yours.” He explained as he put together fajita ingredients. She could smell the meat and veggies cooking in the oven. 

“You are returning it.” He looked at her then, a stubborn expression on his face. 

“No.” He said before turning to the fridge to pull out more ingredients.

“What?”

“You heard me. I’m not returning it. If you don’t want it in your room I’ll just put it in the media room.” The bastard had the audacity to look smug like he had her figured out. “If you really don’t like it just use it as a bookshelf.”

She had never met someone so damn stubborn. 

“Fine.” She huffed. “But when I move out you’re keeping it here.”

He flinched. “Moving out?” His features softened as he asked.

“Well, I can’t live here forever.” She stated as she dipped a chip into the pico de gallo. “You’ll get tired of me eventually.”

He shook his head and scoffed at her. “Even as stubborn as you are, I highly doubt that.” She just stared at him for a moment before the timer went off and he turned away to tend to their lunch.

Ben

After lunch he and Rey settled on the couch to watch the next part in the movie. He settled to his corner and instead of laying down she sat a bit closer than before to share the ottoman.

She had been quiet during lunch, he didn’t perceive it as mad, but more pensive. When she relaxed next to him rather than taking the arm chair or the opposite end of the couch he relaxed some, realizing they were going to be ok. He made a mental note on no more gifts unless it was something she really needed.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

He pushed play and settled into his corner of the couch. 

They hadn’t even made it into a full 30 minutes of the movie before she jumped and turned toward him, her knees pulled up and now resting against him.

He made space for her tucking her under his arm.

“You ok?” He rumbled into her ear, she shuddered as she nodded figuring she was cold again he tugged her closer and drew the blanket that was on his arm of the sofa over them. He realized he may be over stepping but she didn’t pull away or even stiffen in discomfort. It made him wonder if she felt the same way he did, or if she was just glad to have the comfort and warmth. Did she act like this with Finn or Rose? He knew they were close but any time he saw them together it was more playful touches or hugs at greetings and goodbyes. 

As the movie went on she nestled in more, gripping his shirt during tense scenes or burrowing her face in his chest during the gruesome ones. He had never been more thankful for the horror movie genre in his whole entire life. There was always the running jokes in school about how you should always watch horror movies with girls, which he didn’t understand until he was an adult.

He wasn’t a complete hermit, he dated some but nobody ever lasted. Usually because he lacked interest in them for one reason or another, or couldn’t trust that they could handle what he did for a living and keep it discrete. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what felt different with Rey but it did. She was easy going, when he didn’t ruffle her feathers too much. She was private about her own life and respected his privacy. Instead of pushing him to tell her what he did she just went along with it like it was their own private joke. 

He was drawn from his thoughts when he realized Rey was talking to him.

“Hmm?” He tilted his head down to look at her.

“Am I cramping your style with this?”

“No. It’s nice.” He readjusted the blanket and tucked her back into his chest to reaffirm his point.

She settled in again, returning her focus to the movie. 

“It’s nice to have touch, I think I’ve missed it.”

“Yeah?” He wondered if she could hear his heart racing in his chest.

“Yeah.”

He swallowed hard and took a bit of a leap. “I said anything you need, Rey. I meant it.” He felt his cheeks heat as he said that, but it was the truth.

She turned to look at him then, seeming to study his face. He didn’t know what she was looking for but he hoped she had found it.

After a brief moment she paused and looked back at the movie. 


	12. Day 15 pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh look some more fluff... wonder how that got there

They decided to take a break from movie watching for a bit. Rey had enjoyed the comfort of Ben’s embrace. When she woke up this morning she never would have thought that cuddling on the couch was on the agenda but yet here they were. When Ben had said anything she needed she might just take that as an open invitation. She had read threads on twitter about roommates cuddling during quarantine as comfort. She was unsure of whether or not Ben was cuddling for her comfort, his or somewhere in-between. 

While she was not opposed to telling Ben that she was interested in more, she also didn’t want to risk losing his friendship. They had grown close over the short time that he had known her, and she just felt like he was out of her league. Normally he worked out religiously and even if they got take out or went out for dinner he had the tendency to order healthy. Although Rey had a slight frame that was mistaken for being healthy, she was really just blessed with a high metabolism. She would go for walks and do the occasional yoga video, but her diet was awful, it made her feel like a kid when she would order a slice of pizza with tater tots on it and he would order some fancy goat cheese salad. He was a published author with a fancy apartment, she was an engineer at a factory and didn’t make nearly what she ought to for the amount of work she put into her schooling.

As much as she liked Ben she feared that it was all some fantasy playing out in her head, some fairytale that made it through the mires of her childhood that some prince charming would come rescue her. She felt ridiculous, like she was reaching for the stars when right now she couldn’t even grab the nearest handrail.

There was a soft voice in the back of her head that asked what if Finn and Rose were right. They often teased her about her selling herself short in relationships. What if all of his gifts and kind gestures were his way of saying he liked her too. They could have a nice life, she could work whatever job she wanted without worrying about if she’d be able to afford rent, he could continue to write under his real name or under his pseud didn’t even matter to her. They didn’t have a lot in common but it wasn’t as if they were exact opposites either, it was as if they complimented one another. She noticed as she was putting clothes away, that the blanket she made him was on her bed, it was obvious he used it to cover up the last few nights and it made her feel appreciated. She picked it up and took a deep breath working up her nerve to walk with purpose out into the living room. Ben was sitting at the counter on the phone. She halted in her tracks realizing that this was a strange sight for her, he was rarely on the phone, he either texted or took most calls in his office. So she quietly set the blanket on the couch and went about her business of tidying up the living space.

“Do you need me to get anything?” Ben’s voice was a low murmur.

“Are you sure?”

“Ok, just keep me updated, let me know if she gets admitted. I know that they won’t let in visitors at the hospital, but still.”

“Yeah, love you, too. Bye, Dad.”

Rey couldn’t help but overhear the tone of the conversation and notice Ben crumple in on himself a bit.

“What’s wrong?”

“My mom’s been showing symptoms the last couple days. Fever, cough, today she was having trouble breathing. She’s getting tested tonight but they won’t know the results for a few more days.”

“Oh, Ben.” She reached a hand out to his shoulder in an effort to comfort him.

“I can tell my dad is worried, he never worries about much, I can hear it in his tone. They wouldn’t even let him get past the waiting room, he had to wait 3 hours in the car. This is awful Rey, and I can’t even go see her. What if the last time I saw her is the last time I see her?”

His eyes were wet with unshed tears that he blinked away. 

Rey moved to wrap her arm across his shoulders and rest her head on his shoulder. She was just silent with him for a moment. After a while Ben reached his own hand to grasp onto Rey’s on his shoulder.

“Hey, let’s go to back to the couch, yeah?”

Ben nodded rather numbly. 

This time it was Rey’s turn to tug him from the kitchen, guiding him by the hand back to the sofa. 

“Do you need anything? I can make you something if you’re hungry or thirsty?”

Ben just shook his head as he peered up at her, the person who had been her rock the last two weeks now looked so lost. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He shook his head at that too.

“C’mere.” She said as she sat down on the couch, rearranging blankets and pillows and making sure the remote was in her reach.

She picked up his hand that laid limply on the couch cushion next to him and tugged on him to lay down so his head was in her lap. She covered him up with his blanket then, blowing out a breath at the effort it took to get it to reach past his knees. She readjusted, putting her feet back up on the ottoman and grabbed the remote.

“So, new plan. We’re going to watch something stupidly funny and inappropriate.” She said as she pulled up the home screen to do an across app search. “You can pick the actor, your choices will be Seth Rogan or Adam Sandler.” She could only see his profile but knew he pulled a face.

“Fine I’ll choose. Either Super Bad or This is the End.” Ben turned to look at her.

“What are my Adam Sandler choices?” 

“Billy Madison.”

“And?”

“Nope, only Billy Madison.”

He huffed a sigh and settled back into her lap.

“No by all means, you pick.” He sounded a bit sulky but she let it pass.

“Ok, we can start with Superbad and go to This is the end later.”

Rey got the feeling his petulance was more out of frustration and worry than out of having any real preference on the matter.

She opened her movie app and pushed play. She moved her fingers through his hair in a soothing motion and noted that his hair was just as soft as it always looked.

It didn’t take long before Ben relaxed against her and not long after that he was laughing along with the movie.

“You cannot put beer in a laundry soap container and have it not be soapy, this is unrealistic and probably dangerous. Wait is this how the tide pod challenge got started?”

“Ben, its movie magic. Let it go, Elsa.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“I’m going to keep a list of all of the movies that you are sorely missing out on.”

“Fine, but only if you watch my list.”

“If you make me watch some pretentious drivel like Dr. Strangelove, I’m moving out.”

He chuckled.

“No. Just classic horror movies.”

“Careful, you make me watch too many of those and I…”

Rey realized the implications of what she was about to say.

“You’ll what?” Ben asked curiously a bit of mischief to his tone.

“Nothing, but if I get nightmares I’m sleeping with you, and sometimes I kick.”

He looked at her face his eyes taking a slow slide to her mouth before darting back to her eyes. 

“I’ll risk it.”

Rey could feel herself blush.

“We should figure out dinner, huh?” 

Ben bolted up right at her question, she immediately missed his heat and weight.

“I got it.”

“Nope. You can cook whatever you had planned tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll keep a few more hours.” She got up, untangling herself from blankets and moved to the kitchen, where Ben followed to sit at the counter while she started pulling things from the cupboards. She knew he kept a lot of his own staples but hoped that he got a few of the things she tended to keep around the house.

“Can I help?”

“Not this time.”

“What are you going to make.”

“A curry. It’s comfort food where I’m from.”

He nodded. 

“Do you prefer it a bit sweet or no?”

“However, you prefer.”

She set a large fry pan to heat chopping veggies and dumping them in as she went. She had expected Ben to offer more of a protest but he seemed content to watch her cook.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cook like this before.”

“I guess I just don’t take the time to very often. Plus it’s a bit more expensive if I’m just cooking for myself.” She shrugged as she started opening cans to make the sauce.

“It smells good.”

“Thanks.”

She let the curry simmer as she finished fussing over the rice and began to tidy up the kitchen.

She pulled down the oversized soup bowls that Ben had and began to plate up their meal. When she turned he had the fridge door opened.

“Wine or cider?”

“Cider please. That one you brought me the other night was amazing, I’ll have that if there’s more.”

“Course.” He pulled out an oversized bottle and poured them each a glass.

Ben sat next to her at the counter and took a bite.

“Wow.” 

“Is that good or bad?”

“Good. Excellent. Maybe I should let you cook more often.” He joked taking another bite.

“This is the extent of my gourmet cooking.” She took a bite herself, savoring the flavors. She just wished she had fresh herbs to garnish the dish with.

“You’ll need a teacher then.”

“You offering?”

“Maybe. We got a whole lot of time at the moment. I’ll be finished with my book by mid-April, the next one is getting off the ground but there’s still a lot of brainstorming and outlines to do before I’m ready to present it to my publisher.”

“Okay, if you’re willing. You know what I think might be a fun idea?” She asked but not really waiting for a response. “Getting a few small planters for the patio so we can have fresh herbs.”

“Alright, you’re on. I know nothing about plants though.”

“How hard can it be? Water them, bring them in when they’re cold.”

They ate in peaceful silence for a few more minutes.

“So, what’s next?” She asked.

“Next what? Like today?”

“Sure.”

“Well, I have stuff to make another box of brownies if you’re interested.”

“Is there ice cream?” She asked around a bite of her food.

He barked a laugh and nodded, taking a sip of his cider. “For you? Always.”

“Then I suppose I can let you teach me how to bake then.” She said.

“You don’t know how to bake brownies? I thought that would be a requirement for you.”

Rey shrugged. “Never had a chance to when I was younger, and Finn always did the heavy lifting in the kitchen when we lived together. Ask me to throw a pizza in, or make Ramen and I’m a pro.”

“Alright. Lesson one will be brownies out of a box.”

“What?! You mean to tell me Mr. Goat Cheese Salad doesn’t make them from scratch?” Rey feigned shock. “I feel deceived.”

Ben rolled his eyes and laughed.

“Oh, we’ll get to from scratch brownies Rey, just you wait.”

“Pinky swear?” She held her hand out to him, offering him the playful gesture.

Much to Rey’s delight he took it. “Pinky swear.”

Ben

Ben had no idea what alternate reality he woke up in today, but he wouldn’t trade any of his time with Rey. She was always a bit sassy but today she was almost flirtatious. It wasn’t that he wasn’t afraid for his mom or even his dad. But there was nothing he could do about that except check in more frequently. So he focused on the things he could control and that was to spend time with Rey. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was trying to woo her a bit, but he was a selfish man and he would take up all of the time she had to offer at this point. He reluctantly agreed to let her clean up dinner dishes while he texted his dad to check in. His mom was apparently resting at home.

It had felt good to be soothed by her on the couch, to a watch stupid movie he normally wouldn’t give the time of day to. As her fingers had slid through his hair he felt every muscle in his body gradually relax. He was pretty sure he could have fallen asleep if he wasn’t terrified of drooling on her or missing out on this experience.

The dinner she had cooked was amazing. He’d had curry on a few occasions and hers was just as good. He was excited about teaching her how to cook, it was a favorite thing to do of his.

He returned to the kitchen to find that Rey had already acquired the brownie mix and grabbed the ingredients.

“Starting without me?”

“No I just thought I’d be helpful.”

“Hmm, so let’s get started then.”

He instructed while Rey put ingredients together and poured it all in the pan. Ben placed the pan in the oven and set the timer.

“Always set the timer for a few minutes short to make sure they don’t burn. You can always add more time later if you need to.”

“Ok. So now we wait?”

“Yup.”

They went back to the couch and were flipping through movie choices.

“So, are you still up for scary movies or would you prefer something lighter.”

“Something lighter.”

“Ok. Let’s see what our choices are.”

“Okay, why don’t you look and pick something. I’m going to go make my bed and change out the last of the laundry.”

So he scrolled through movies landing on some political movie with Seth Rogan and Charlize Theron, it may satisfy both of their interests of funny and serious. He settled back into the couch with his arm across the back. He felt like an awkward teenager hoping his body was angled in a way that looked like an invitation and not man spreading. 

When she came back, she came with her weighted blanket.

“You ok?” He asked, knowing she rarely had it out.

“Yeah, I’ve just been feeling overwhelmed since this all started and I’ve been using it more.” She settled in on the opposite end of the couch facing him.

“So what’d you pick?”

He just shrugged and nodded at the TV.

“A Seth Rogan movie?” She gasped. “Ben Solo have I forever ruined you?”

He took in a breath, “Possibly forever, yes.”

Rey met his eye then, her face dropped from the jovial look she had to one of soft surprise. 

Their brief moment was interrupted by the oven timer going off. Ben had never experienced brownies cooking so quickly in his life.

He got up and she followed him to the kitchen. He pulled out a toothpick and showed her how to check they were done. Deciding they still needed a few minutes he got out bowls while she got out the ice cream.

“So, is there chocolate syrup?”

“You keep asking me these silly, borderline offensive questions as if I haven’t been living with you and making horrified comments about your some of your food preferences for the past three months.”

She laughed and hip checked him a bit then and she went to the drawer to get spoons. “Am I really that predictable?”

“When it comes to food yes. All I have to do when I’m at the grocery store is think what’s the food combo to most likely put me in a coma and voila you’re the happiest woman alive.”

She fell into a fit of giggles then, tears coming to her eyes from laughter. “I can’t even deny it.”

“If you did, I’d call Finn.”

“He would back me up.” Ben just stared at her knowingly. “Ok, maybe he wouldn’t.”

After checking the brownies again, they were finally done so they pulled out the pan and cut and served up their dessert. Ben was satisfied with just ice cream for the brownie, whereas Rey opted for adding syrup.

They went back to the couch Rey again choosing the opposite corner much to Ben’s disappointment and pushed play. 

Ben was pleasantly surprised about the movie, it had a bit of everything action, comedy, as well as social and political commentary. 

By the time they were finished with dessert Rey seemed to struggle with getting comfortable on her and of the couch.

“You can lay this way if you want, I don’t mind.” She smiled softly at him and switched to lean against him, he pulled her weighted blanket over her and draped his arm around her.

By the end of the movie however, Rey had fallen asleep. He didn’t wish to wake her so he stayed put for a while flipping aimlessly through one of his live streaming apps.

Rey had probably been asleep for an hour when she started mumbling in her sleep, he looked at her to see her eye lids were fluttering in REM sleep. He watched her for a moment before her face scrunched into a bit of a scowl and she woke with a start, breathing heavy.

“Rey, hey, you ok?” She started and looked at him like she forgot he was there and sat up startled. She looked around the room blinking owlishly before looking back at him. He wanted to reach out to touch her but didn’t want to make her feel worse.

“Hey, you’re ok.” She took in a deep breath before pressing her face to the palm of her hands.

“Bad dream?” She nodded, he reached out then to put a hand between her shoulders attempting to soother her.

“Too many scary movies?” She shook her head.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She shook her head again. It was then he remembered what she had said about not sleeping alone after nightmares and wondered about the times he caught her sleeping on the couch.

“Are they why you sleep on the couch sometimes?” She nodded, her face still buried in her hands.

“What do you need? Do you want to sleep out here? Your room?” He took in a breath “My room?” She looked at him then, almost checking to see if he was serious.

She nodded.

All at once the nervous tightness from his chest sunk into being butterflies in his stomach. He was nervous but for different reasons. Part of him just wanted her to feel safe, the other part just wanted her there period. 

So he picked up her weighted blanket and the blanket she made him and gestured for her to come with.

“I’ll be there in a minute, I put all of my stuff back in my room and bathroom.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a minute.” She nodded and went off down the hall to her room.

Ben walked to his room quickly remaking the bed that Rey had stripped earlier.

He had just finished arranging the blankets when she walked in a bit sheepishly.

“You don’t have to do this you know.”

“I know…” He breathed in then steeling his nerves. “But I want to.” She nodded then and hopped into bed. 

Ben took a minute to go get ready for bed, changing into pajamas, brushing his teeth and willing his heart rate to go back to a normal rhythm. He was never very confident with women but he could never remember being so nervous around one either. Why was he like this? It was Rey, his friend, his roommate. Why did he have to feel the way he did? Well for one if she didn’t return his feelings it could potentially be awkward.

After his non pep talk he went back into the bedroom to find Rey curled up under her weighted blanket, he didn’t think she’d be asleep already but he did try to be very quiet when moving through the room turning off lights and turning on the soft light of the fireplace, making sure to set the timer.

He got into bed rearranging the covers over himself and settled in, it felt odd after he had been away from it for so long. He turned on his side toward Rey and reached out to brush some hair from her face so he could see her.

“Is this ok?” She still looked scared and he would do anything to chase that feeling away. He could see her wheels turning before she decided on what she was going to say.

“Can you…” She trailed off, nervousness coming off of her in waves.

“Hey, it’s ok. Come here.” He scooted toward her, the bed never feeling so big before this. He gripped her forearm tugging her into his embrace, placing an arm under her head. He wrapped his arms around her, careful to angle his hips away enough to try to make this as platonic as possible. It seemed his dick thought having a woman in his bed only happened during one activity.

She tucked her head under his chin and she seemed to settle a bit, he felt the nervous tension in her shoulders ease.

“Someday I’ll tell you.” She whispered into the dark.

“About what?” He asked.

“The dreams.” She whispered back. 

“Ok. Whenever you’re ready.” He reassured her. He rubbed her back in a gesture that he hoped was soothing and not gropey.

“Hey Rey?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for today. The thing with my mom was a lot, and I don’t know what I would have done without you here.” She rose up to her elbow then to look at him in the low light.

“Ben you’ve single handedly taken care of me for two weeks and made it so I’ll never be able to say I’m bored again. The least I could have done is make you a curry and watch distracting movies with you. You’ve been more supportive to me in last two weeks than most people have been my whole life… It just seemed like the very least I could do. And now, your first night out of my terrible lumpy bed, you’re stuck with someone who kicks in their sleep and is always cold.” She tried to come off as joking but it fell flat to him.

She seemed to run out of steam then and laid back down, tucking herself back under Ben’s chin.

“You’re perfect Rey, and I wouldn’t have you anywhere else.” He whispered to her. He could feel Rey’s fingers grip his shirt tighter and pull herself closer to him and he squeezed her tighter to him. They laid like that quietly, Ben listening to Rey’s breathing even out while she drifted into sleep. He hated that she felt like a burden to him, if anything she was the opposite. She made his day better by just existing and being herself. If he never told her anything else about his feelings he really needed to tell her that she was enough just as she was.


	13. day  16 pt 1

Ch 13

Day 16

Rey woke up rested and relaxed. They had moved some in the night, Rey had turned away from Ben but he was still curled around her, the poor guy’s arm had to have been dead because she was still using it as a pillow. She shifted some to try and readjust, see if she could let him have his arm back, but the one around her waist just tugged her back into the solid wall of muscle that was Ben’s chest. His face burrowed into her neck causing her to shiver from his breath causing her hair to tickle her neck. She couldn’t help but let out a giggle and squirm at the sensation dislodging Ben somewhat. 

“Ticklish Rey?” Ben asked, his voice groggy sounding.

“nuh uh.” Rey muttered not quite ready to be awake enough to talk. She felt Ben shift behind her, assuming he was going to get up when his hand gripped her ribs and tickled her. She thrashed and let out a shriek, Ben quickly let go when her wild attempts to remove his grip meant that her heel connected with his shin and her head connected with his chin.

“Ow. Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. Truce?” Ben asked, she turned to see him rubbing his chin.

“Sorry. I told you I kicked.”

“No. I’m pretty sure I got exactly what I deserved.” She chuckled at him.

“So, anyway good morning.” He said reaching to brush her hair out if her face.

“Good morning.” She found herself blushing under his gaze. Something had shifted between them last night, where they were no longer just friendly roommates, but they weren’t really anything more either. They were in some space In between. She rolled to her side to face him then and his gaze shifted from her eyes to her lips. She panicked a bit, under no circumstances was their first kiss going to be accompanied by morning breath.

“Coffee?” She chirped at him. “It’s my turn. Let me just wash up and I’ll get coffee and breakfast started.” She was rambling as she scrambled out of the bed, her heart sunk when she caught the dejected look on his face on her way out of the room. She was going to have to fix that, she hoped she could fix that.

A few minutes later Ben shuffled into the kitchen his face just one notch away from being a scowl.

So she finished putting the coffee on and moved to the refrigerator to see what she could put together for breakfast.

“Hey.” She said softly. “Fajita scrambles okay?” He nodded at her but didn’t look up from his phone.

“Everything ok?” She asked as she was pulling things out of the fridge.

“Yeah, my dad just texted updates about my mom.”

“How is she?”

“Mostly the same. Sleeping a lot, but at least they have an inhaler and some other medications to try and keep the fever down and help her with her coughing.”

She nervously set about her task, unsure of how to set things right between them. She wanted Ben to kiss her, she wanted things to move to a different space, but she struggled with being so upfront about it. She was never very good with putting her feelings out there, but if she wanted this she was going to have to be brave.

“Ben. Can I ask you something?” The look he gave her was mostly a deer in headlights until he schooled it into something stoic and neutral, it was a common mask he wore.

“Before, were you going to kiss me?” She could see he was chewing on his answer so she rushed on. “If you were, I’m sorry I panicked, I thought that you were and I just…” He worked his jaw, bracing for her answer, his hands gripping the counter. “I just… morning breath and if you were I would like you to. I know that moment is gone and I can’t get that back and if I ruined it…” She stopped speaking when he stood up from his seat and walked up to her cupping her jaw before leaning down to kiss her.

Just a light brush of his lips against hers. She felt herself breathe out in relief and she kissed him back firmly, fisting his shirt to keep him there. He pulled back some to meet her eye and she swallowed heavily. 

“Good morning.” She said and she looked at him through her lashes. 

A grin broke across his face and he leaned down to press his forehead against hers.

“Good morning.”

Ben

He kissed Rey, he can’t believe he kissed her. He thought he screwed up when she scrambled out of bed, he tried hard not to outwardly show his disappointment but he was angry with himself for making her feel like she had to flee him. Only when she was rambling about the moment being gone did he realize that she wanted him to kiss her. They ate breakfast grinning like idiots at one another. Now they were on a walk heading toward the lake. The weather was perfect for a spring morning and both were eager to take in some sun.

They held hands as they walked, pointing out various sights. Ben showed her some of his favorite spots, Rey talked about some of her first experiences of moving here from England. It was such a simple thing, but it made him happy. When they had gotten back to the apartment they decided on playing games for a bit. Rey sitting in the corner of the couch with her back against the arm and her legs draped across Ben’s thighs while he put his feet up. 

He liked that he could reach for her without a reason or hesitation. Not that they had shared anything more than chaste touches and a few kisses. He and Rey hadn’t really talked about what they wanted, and he didn’t want to go further until they did. He knew it was a dangerous game, to kiss your roommate during a pandemic without a full understanding of what they wanted from a relationship with you. Even though he knew he was all in, he didn’t know how Rey felt and didn’t want her to feel obligated or overwhelmed. He knew he could be intense at times and didn’t want to rush things.

“Ughghg.” Rey groaned next to him.

“That good huh?” 

“This game! I’m done.” She said as she dropped the game console onto the ottoman. 

“Ok.” Ben said as he saved and shut down.

He shifted to hover over her then, running his fingers through her hair before kissing her. She opened her mouth to him and he took it as invitation to deepen the kiss. Her fingers slid through his hair before gripping the hair at the nape of his neck sending a jolt of pleasure down his back.

He hummed contentedly, pulling away before it could become too heated. He moved out from under her and picked up their devices to place them on the chargers. 

“Can we watch another scary movie today?” Rey asked him.

“You didn’t get enough yesterday?”

“Maybe I just want a reason to be in the comfy bed.” She teased.

He chuckled and bent down to kiss her on the forehead.

“As you wish.” He went to move away but she grasped his hand, keeping him rooted to the spot.

“You used to tell me that before.” He felt himself blush, feeling caught.

“Yes. I did.” He sucked in a breath collecting his nerves. “Rey, I’ve liked you for a while and I don’t know what you want from this… Shit, that sounded awful. Anyway, I’m all in on this. I like you. You’re amazing and I want to be with you in whatever way you’ll have me.” 

She looked at him considering what he had said.

“So, you mean like dating or a relationship, with our without a label?”

“Yes. I want to know what you want.”

“I have to be honest, I’ve not had a relationship that’s lasted more than a few months and they always end terrible. I get too attached in the beginning and then I tend to sabotage things before I can get too comfortable. I don’t want you to be the collateral damage in all of my emotional baggage.” She looked worried then, chewing on her bottom lip and ringing her hands.

“Hey, we can go at whatever pace you want, maybe take things slow. I don’t want to rush this and then ruin it. I want this,” he gestured between them “whatever it is, to work.”

She smiled softly.

“I want it to work, too. I think taking things slow and over communicating would be helpful.” Rey said. 

“Sounds like a good idea, I’m not always great at communicating so that might be good for me too.”

“I think I’ve liked you for a while also, I just never thought you’d be interested in someone like me.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes when she said that.

“What does that mean?” 

“I don’t know. When I moved in you were obviously successful, your apartment is super nice, when you’d leave at night you’d dress like you were a GQ model, but when we’d go out together you’d still look good but you’d dress differently. You’d get take out coffee every day and you spend more on groceries in a week than I do in a month.”

“Rey, the material stuff doesn’t matter. I dressed differently with you because I felt like I could be myself. I spend too much money on groceries and coffee because I’ve never had a time in my life where I couldn’t.” He thought a minute dreading having to have the conversation, but knowing that he’d have to be honest if this was going to work. “Is money always going to be an issue?” He pushed his hands through his hair and sat on the ottoman to be at her level.

“It’s hard for me, I come from nothing and it’s hard not to equate myself with my upbringing.” His heart broke for her in that moment, see the roundabout way of how she described herself. He wanted to personally track down everyone in her past that made her feel that way.

“Rey, you’re not nothing.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “There’s something I need to tell you. I need you to let me get to the end, and please don’t be mad.” 

She took a breath and nodded for him to continue.

“Shortly after you started quarantine and we had the big serious talk about your childhood…. I had Hux put you as a beneficiary in my will.” She took a breath like she was going to say something but she caught herself. “I realize that, that may sound awful to you. At the time I was not intending on pursuing a relationship with you, it felt underhanded and creepy to tell you I had feelings for you when you were obligated to accept my help. Therefor I was not intending to tell you my actions regarding my will either.”

“I appreciate the gesture, but it makes me really uncomfortable that you would do that without talking to me.”

“I can see that. But would you have accepted it if I asked you?”

“Absolutely not.” She seemed surprised by her own answer and she nodded. “Will you take me off if I ask?”

He took in a breath his knee jerk response wanting to be no. “If you tell me I have to, but if I’m being honest I don’t want to. At least not during this pandemic.”

“Do you think I can’t make it on my own?”

“I know you can. I don’t doubt you or think you’re incapable of anything. If there wasn’t a pandemic where people were dying by the thousands every day I wouldn’t even think about it…. Probably. I just wanted to make sure that if I got sick or something happened to me you wouldn’t have to worry.” He shrugged, he felt compelled to care for Rey there was no getting around that fact.

“What if this relationship doesn’t work?” She looked sad at the thought.

“Then it’s whatever you want Rey, but I wouldn’t take you off out of spite or bitterness. I’d still want to know that you’re well cared for. That you don’t have to worry about money or a place to live.” She reached out and touched his wrist, his elbows resting on his knees. He took in a breath of relief at her touch. She had placed herself directly in front of him so he opened his posture to her. She took it as an invitation to sit on his lap and he embraced her and she rested her forehead against his cheek.

“So let me get this straight. You are not sick and do not plan on dying.”

“Correct.”

“But still put me in your will despite us having had no formal relationship prior to today and knowing that I would not willingly agree to it.”

“Also correct.”

“You had no intention of pursuing a formal relationship because you didn’t want to come off as a letch.”

“Yes.” He chuckled then some of the tension finally leaving.

“You knew telling me this would upset me.”

“I had good reason to believe that yes.”

“But you told me anyways.”

“Correct.”

She embraced him tightly then.

“No more surprises or secrets. When you grow up the way I did even good ones are bad.” He took in a breath and nodded.

“I will try my very best to control that impulse.” He meant it, he just wanted her to have things. He was going to have to accept her limits.

“I forgive you for being the ridiculous rich guy in whatever romance trope I ended up in.” He chuckled, relieved at her joke. “But if this is going to work you’re going to have to work on that, or let me decide when you get to be that guy.”

“Understood. I think I owe you lunch.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Rey

Rey was a bit overwhelmed. She knew that Ben had meant well, had only meant to care for her and yet she couldn’t help being angry. She didn’t quite understand why it was upsetting, no he didn’t tell her but it wasn’t like he was intending on getting sick either. She also couldn’t deny that she would do something similar if she had the resources.

The redeeming part of this was that he had told her, without prompting, rather than her finding out on her own. She knew that she had a hard time letting others care for her, mainly because relying on people usually lead to her being disappointed, hurt or abandoned. It was just easier to rely on herself. If she wanted to have a healthy relationship she was going to have to learn to lean on him at times. She had for the past 2 weeks but that was more out of necessity than anything else, although he had proved reliable she still had a hard time letting go.

She had decided to shower while Ben fixed lunch, taking the time to collect her thoughts. She had enjoyed the easy intimacy of the morning and would have been happy to just make out on the couch and had noticed that he would pull back when things became too heated. She appreciated his thoughtfulness and care. That he didn’t want to go further than what they were both ready for, that he wanted to make sure they were on the same page before pushing things further, but then not acting cold or standoffish when she did identify her boundaries, and his ability to be forthright despite the potential consequences of making her mad. A relationship with Ben was definitely worth exploring. 

When she walked back into the living area she saw Ben out on the patio at the little table top grill. She couldn’t see what he was making but it smelled amazing. She walked out to join him. 

“Smells good, what are we having?”

“Steak and foil packet potatoes, and grilled pineapple.”

“All of that fits in there?”

“Yup.” He put the lid down and turned to her. “I know we were supposed to watch a scary movie today, but I was hoping that we could rain check.”

Her heart sunk, had he reconsidered about being all in. Had she been too much already? Not even half a day in?

“I kind of want to go see my parents. I can’t go in but I thought maybe I could at least sit on the patio and physically see them, if nothing else.”

“Oh.” She was disappointed and yet relieved. It was a reasonable thing to ask, and although she wanted to keep him to herself for a bit she wouldn’t keep him from his family.

He seemed to notice her disappointment. “You can come with, if you want.” He ran his hands through his hair nervously. “I know it’s kind of early for the meet the parents thing, but you can just come as my roommate if that makes you more comfortable. I know both my parents would love you though.” His ears turned a lovely shade of pink as he stammered and she felt that sinking disappointment from earlier turn into something else she couldn’t quite label yet.

“Ok.”

“Ok? So you’ll go?” He looked surprised that she agreed so easily.

“Sure. I think it’d be nice to meet your parents.” She hesitated before continuing, giving herself a moment to change her mind but finding it unnecessary. “As your girlfriend though, not just your roommate.”

“Girlfriend.” Ben was beaming at her all crooked teeth and smile lines. He stepped into her space and pulled her in for a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They startled apart when the grill gave an angry hiss. 

Ben cleared his throat. “I better check that, want to go get plates set up?”

“Sure.”


	14. Day 16 pt 2

Rey  
Rey could never remember being so nervous, she had met parents of friends before but not under these circumstances. She sat tensely in her seat looking out the window, ringing her hands in her lap. Her lip was going to have a hole in it the way that she was chewing on it.   
“Hey, are you ok?” Ben asked her  
“What?” He had startled her enough from her thoughts.  
“We don’t have to do this if you’re having second thoughts.” Ben stated calmly from his position in the driver’s seat, his hand dropping from the steering wheel to cover the restless ones in her lap.   
“No, I want to. I’ve just never done this before. I’m nervous.” She chewed on her lip. “God, what if they don’t like me?”  
“Would it make you feel any better if I told you I’ve never brought a girl home before? They’ll love this.”   
“No, that’s almost worse!” Her skin prickled with anxiety. “Then there’s no terrible girlfriends to compare me to.”   
“Nope they’ll only be able to compare you to me. They’ll prefer you over me, I promise.” Ben picked up her hand to kiss the back of it, his eyes staying on the road.   
“Would you rather not be introduced as a girlfriend?” He asked earnestly, there was a sad note to his features. “You can just be my roommate for this.”  
“I don’t want to lie to your parents.”   
He scoffed at that. “It isn’t lying if it isn’t their business.”  
She looked at him then, unsure of what he meant.  
“Look I’m not saying we keep it a secret or lie, but our relationship is between us and we get to decide who knows what, when we are ready to tell them.” He stated matter-of-factly.  
She took in a breath, some of the anxiety and pressure releasing and nodded.  
“I want to meet your parents, I want them to know that we’re in a relationship. But I don’t know what to expect from this. I know that you don’t have a great relationship with your dad and that you’re repairing your relationship with your mom. I guess I feel ill prepared for this.” Finally finding the words to voice her thoughts.  
“Ok, so what do you want to know?”  
“What do they do?”  
“My dad owns a few car repair shops, he’s mostly a silent partner at this point. My mom is retired from being a CEO of an engine manufacturing plant. They’ve been married for 32 years; they have fought for approximately 31 of them. Their best friends are my uncle Chewie and my aunt Maz, they aren’t actually related to me. My mom has a twin brother Luke, I don’t talk to him, but my parents still do. Part of our estrangement was because of that. They couldn’t handle my moody teenage self, then sent me to stay with my uncle, who plagiarized my work. He’s never apologized so I’ve never felt it was my job to fix the relationship, up until 2 years ago my parents believed him.” He took a breath considering what he was going to say next. “Things get tense with my dad because as my mom would say we are, cut from the same cloth, and are too bull headed to see things from the other’s perspective.” He let out a breath after going through his explanation of his family.   
“So, you really have nothing to worry about, they aren’t perfect.” Ben said as the took a quick glance at her.  
She nodded feeling reassured.  
“What do they know about me?”  
“They know you’re my roommate, my mom knows about the will, and my mom also knows that I have feelings for you.” She could feel her eyebrows shoot up to her hair at this admission. “My mom can be a bit of a busy body.” He said by way of explanation. “Don’t let her pressure you into talking about things you’re not comfortable with.”  
“I thought your mom was sick.”  
“She is, but I wouldn’t put it past her to still be nosy and try to pressure you to tell her things. She’s a pro at it.”  
She huffed a laugh at his description of his mother.   
It wasn’t long before they pulled into a long, paved driveway.  
Rey’s breath hitched at the large beautiful home and with the immaculately kept yard. Ben honked the horn to sound their arrival before parking next to a rather large garage.  
“You ready?”  
Rey nodded at him, at a loss for words. She knew for American standards that this was a pretty normal sized house but she was still in awe of the sizes of yards and homes in the states compared to what she grew up around in England.  
Ben got up and out of the car and met her on her side as she was getting out.   
“We’re going to go sit on the patio, my parents have a sitting area in that room so they should be able to talk to us rather comfortably.” He took her hand and then gently guided her in the direction they were supposed to go.   
When they turned the corner of the house Rey was greeted with the sight of the patio next to a little pond and a bench swing set up next to the double doors. A small little table was next to the swing.  
Ben motioned for her to have a seat and he sat next to her and called his parents, setting his phone to speaker before placing it on the table. It wasn’t long before his dad and mom were shuffling into view. Both were wearing masks, probably to protect one another as much as possible.   
Ben’s phone rang so he answered it and immediately put it on speaker.  
“Ben, glad to see you.” His dad said. “Who’s this you brought with?”  
“This is Rey. She’s my girlfriend.” Rey noticed his mom’s eye wrinkle in a smile as she clapped her hands together.   
“Well, I’m speechless, it took a global pandemic to get you to make a move on a girl, huh?” Ben’s dad said and she could feel Ben tense next to her.  
“Oh, hush Han.” His mother croaked out at him. “It’s lovely you brought her, Rey it’s nice to meet you. My name is Leiah and this is Han.”  
Rey smiled at her. “Nice to meet you, too.”   
“When I’m better you’ll have to join us for dinner, I’m sure once the weather is better we can eat outside or something.”  
“That sounds lovely.” Rey noticed Ben’s dad settle in a chair near his mom after he was satisfied with the woman’s comfort. Rey could see why his mom said the men were so alike.  
“So, Ben tells me you’re his roommate?” Ben’s dad guffawed at that information.  
“Uhm, yes, for the last 3 months or so.”   
“You’re from England?”  
“Yes, I moved here for Uni.”  
“Lovely. I bet being away from there is difficult during these times.” His mother pointedly looked at Ben then.  
“Oh, no. There isn’t really anything for me back there.” Ben put his arm around her then and gave her shoulder a squeeze, she leaned into his warmth.  
“Oh, I’m sorry dear I shouldn’t have assumed such things.”  
“Leia here can be a bit of a nosy old lady.” Han interrupted. “Sometimes found family is better than blood anyways.”   
“Oh, I couldn’t agree more.” She stated as she smiled, gently at Ben, who blushed under her gaze.  
Leia smiled indulgently but Rey could tell she was tired.  
“Han, I think I need to go lay down.” She turned back to Ben. “Benny?”  
“Yeah, mom?”   
“Thank you for this, it’s done an old lady some good.”  
“Good.”  
“Stop by in a couple days, hopefully I’ll have the stamina to chat for a bit longer.”  
“Good seeing you kids.” Han stated after he had helped to life Leiah out of her seat.  
“Yup, nice see you too dad.”  
“I was really nice meeting you both.”  
“Yes, Rey, come back anytime, with or without my son.” Leia winked and Ben’s dad laughed offering her his arm to walk her to another room. Rey watched them fondly as they disappeared from view.  
“That was shorter than I expected.”   
“Yeah, I just wanted to see her, and to give her the chance to meet you, just in case.” He did that thing with his jaw again.  
“I’m glad I came.”   
“Me, too.” Ben took her hand and they made their way to the car. Ben opened her door for her seeing her settle into the car before shutting it before walking to his own.  
“Need to stop anywhere before we head home?”  
“No, I’m good.”  
“Rey?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I want to take you on a date.”  
She huffed a laugh, “yeah? I know we’re kind of doing things a bit out of order, but we don’t have to do anything special.”  
“No, but I still want to do this right. So, can I plan a date?”  
“What?” Rey scoffed. “Why do feel the need to ask?”  
“It’s just I know I overstepped with the money and the gifts and I know that if I just planned things, I’d probably go overboard again…. So, can I plan a date? And that way you can set any rules that you think might be necessary.”  
Rey just smiled and shook her head as she let out a chuckle.  
“You can plan a date, but you are not going to spend any more money than you normally would for dinner, and you can’t spend more than 5 dollars on entertainment.”  
She noticed he took a breath at that and relaxed a bit as he nodded.   
He smirked a bit.  
“What?”  
“Can it be fancy dinner?”  
“No, a normal dinner Ben. Fancy dinners are for big things like promotions and anniversaries.”  
“Anniversaries?” He cocked his eyebrow at her and picked up her hand from her lap to hold it.  
Rey felt herself blush. “This doesn’t feel casual to me.” She fidgeted in her seat, her nerves getting to her. Ben just kissed the back of her hand before lacing his fingers with hers.   
“But it’s our first date and I feel like that is a big deal.”  
“I appreciate that, and if you hadn’t already done so much for me, maybe I would reconsider.”  
“Ok, I can accept that. So, are you free Saturday?”  
She snorted at that. “Gee.” She said rolling her eyes a bit. “Let me check my calendar. Yes, I just happen to be free.”  
He chuckled at her. “Perfect.”  
“Are you working tomorrow?”  
His mouth pulled a bit at disappointment of the mention.  
“Yeah. I have a conference call. Why?”  
“I just figured I’d cook lunch and dinner tomorrow.”  
“Oh? Is it going to be curry?”  
“It can if you want it to be. Otherwise I can just make us sandwiches or salads or something.”  
“Ok. Anything you make would be good, really.”  
It was nearly evening by the time they made it back to their apartment. Rey kicked off her shoes and went to go lay on the couch.  
“We still have plenty of time for a movie or something if you want.” She called to Ben as he was walking down the hall toward his room.   
“Yeah, let me just go change and I’ll be back.” Rey could agree with the comfy clothes idea and went to go change into something else also. Between clean laundry and having access to her room she found she had more to choose from, so she settled on a tank top and yoga shorts, a bit tighter than she usually wore around Ben, but they were a couple now and so she decided that she didn’t have to worry about propriety. She was curious to see how he’d react, he was usually so stoic.  
Ben had managed to beat her back to the living area and she found him in the kitchen with a plate of snacks on the counter and a couple bottles in his hand. His eyes widened noticeably when he saw her and she watched his throat bob with a heavy swallow. Rey felt vindicated with the outfit choice.

Ben   
Ben nearly dropped the two beer bottles he was holding when he turned and saw Rey. She would often wear lounge wear around the apartment, but he could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra under her top and the shorts were so tight they may have well not existed. His brain only seemed to want to supply him with ideas of what was under her minimal clothing.   
He collected himself rather later than he would have liked and handed off the bottles to her after he had removed their lids. She went off to the living room and he was glad he had a moment to collect himself as he grabbed the cheese tray and followed her.  
He watched Rey settle into the middle of the couch, while he set the oversized tray on the ottoman and settled in next to her. His arm draped around her as he took his bottle from her hand and pulled her legs up to rest against him and draped a blanket across them. He reveled in the heat of her pressed against him.  
On Rey’s insistence they picked another scary movie and settled on a one of the purge movies.  
During the course Rey stayed close, occasionally moving to grab a bite to eat or take a drink. Her hand would grip his shirt or his arm when things would get to intense, and he found it to be a reasonable excuse to pull her closer to him and press his lips to the top of her head. His fingers brushed against the bare skin of her arms and legs and he found himself tracing patterns there. If someone were to quiz him on the finer points of this movie he’d fail.  
“Well?” Ben asked when he was brought back to the present by the rolling credits.  
“A little too much for me.” She murmured as she turned her face up to his.   
He angled his face down so their lips were almost brushing against each other when she closed the distance to kiss him fully on the mouth.   
He cupped her jaw and deepened the kiss. His arm was wrapped around her back keeping her pressed close. Her hands carded through his hair sending shivers down his spine. His hand drifted from her jaw, grazing down her torso to grip her hip. A soft moan came from her throat which spurred him to break away and pepper kisses down her jaw and neck, to suck on her exposed collar bone. Her hand trailed down his neck and gripped onto his shoulder.  
“Ben” She breathed in his ear a shudder rolling through him.  
“Hmm?” He hummed while nosing along her throat.  
“Can we slow down?” He immediately sat up to look her in the eye. Her eyes were wide, her brow furrowed.   
“I’m sorry.” He stated and cleared his throat and shifting away to give her room to move away if she wanted.  
“No, it’s just… we said we’d go slow, and if we keep going like this, that will not happen.” She kissed his lips then in a gesture reassurance and he pulled the blanket back around them and kissed her forehead.  
in“You’re right. So what are our current boundaries?”  
“Hmmm, maybe keep to the waist up, above the clothes.”  
“Ok. I can do that.”   
“We can reconsider what they’ll be after our date.”  
“Ok, no pressure though, you know?”  
“I do.” He brushed a lock of hair away from her forehead and dropped a kiss there before settling back against the couch again. He picked up his phone to see the time.   
“I should get ready for bed if I’m going to get everything I need done tomorrow.” He sighed.  
“Would it be too much if I stayed with you?” Rey asked, a look of uncertainty on her face.  
“No, you’re always welcome.”  
“Even if we’re not having sex?”  
“Yes” he said a bit incredulously. “Don’t get me wrong, I want to have sex with you, maybe even build a shrine to those shorts you’re wearing.” She laughed and her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. “But I want all of the parts of our relationship to be good, I want all of you.”  
She smiled at him, all dimpled and teeth.  
“I want all of you too.” She said softly.  
He grinned then and gave her hand a squeeze before standing up, he tugged her up before hoisting her over his shoulder to carry her to the bedroom. Rey was all giggles and squeals as she braced against his back.  
“Ben! Put me down!”  
“Never.”  
“Ben! You are not a cave man.”  
“No, but I am taking you back to my lair.”  
“You’re ridiculous.”  
“Probably” he stated as he went to drop her onto the bed.  
Rey’s face was pink and her hair was mussed and he was happy.


	15. Day 17

Day 17

Ben woke up to the grey dawn breaking through the window and the ghost of the pleasant warmth that had been pressed to his chest. He looked around him to see that Rey was nowhere in sight, and that the bathroom only contained darkness. He pushed himself out of bed to look for her, heading down the hall. He found his query in the kitchen pouring coffee into mugs and eggs cooking on the stove.

“Good morning.” He mumbled to her. Rey visibly startled sloshing coffee all over the counter.

“Oh my God!” Setting down the pot with a thunk and clutching her chest.

“I’m so sorry!” Ben stated grabbing a towel to help her clean up the mess.

Rey let out a laugh.

“You were supposed to still be asleep.” She said as she turned to him a hand on her hip.

He mopped up the spilled coffee, lightly caging her in against the counter.

“I didn’t know. I woke up alone so thought I’d come look for you.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek before pulling away from her, only to be pulled back by Rey tugging on his shirt for her to kiss him on the mouth.

Rey pushed him away when she heard the sizzling in the pan get louder. 

“shit, shit, shit.” She chanted as she pulled the pan off the stove.

“Everything ok?”

“Yes, I saved it in time.”

“You’re up terribly early this morning.” Ben said as he sat down at the counter, trying to be out of Rey’s way.

“I know, but I wanted to surprise you.” She shrugged as she spooned the egg mixture into tortillas, then sliding the plate to Ben so he could put toppings on as he pleased. 

She set his coffee mug in front of him before taking the seat next to him and topping off her own burrito.

“Hmmm, it’s good. Thank you.” Ben sad before taking a sip of coffee.

“You’re welcome.”

“Can I expect this every morning?” He asked with a knowing smirk, only be greeted by Rey’s rolling eyes and a scoff.

“Only if you want breakfast at 9.”

“Nope, I’d never get anything done for work.”

“It’s a pity. You should try sleeping in some time.” She took a bite of her burrito. “Maybe tomorrow?”

“Hmm, maybe but I have a hot date in the evening.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” He nodded at her.

“What is going to happen on this hot date.”

“Oh, I have ideas.”

“Do you?”

“Yup.”

“Anything I need to know?” He could see the curiosity eat at her a bit.

“So, we’ll eat dinner here. Wear a dress, I have plans for after.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she just looked at him in confused amusement.

“And what time does this hot date start.”

“Six, sharp. So, I’m going to need you to make yourself scarce for a couple hours before so I can get ready.”

“Running me out of my own apartment?” She cocked an eyebrow at him

“Yes, it’s for your own good I promise.” He smirked into his coffee cup. “As for now, breakfast was delicious.” He leaned over and kissed her on the lips before getting up to put his dishes in the dishwasher. “But if I’m going to get to spend some time with you this weekend, I need to get ready for work.”

“You could literally work in your pajamas and nobody would know.” 

“I could? Ah. I could. But that is not part of my writing process, especially when I have conference calls over zoom.” He said as he considered her for a moment. “Or do you just like it when I strut around in my lounge wear?” To which she blushed and swatted at his arm as he dipped in for another kiss, chuckling at her reaction. 

“Go to work.” She commanded.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Rey

Rey finally had a chance to play around with her sewing machine. Between YouTube and a facetime call with Amilyn she was able to get it figured out. She made a few masks with the supplies that Ben had gotten for her. She was glad that she had gotten up early with Ben because it afforded her extra time to work on things before lunch. By the time her back ached from leaning over the table to cut fabric or over the machine to sew it was nearly lunch time. 

She had decided on making something simple for lunch and then going to pick up pizza from the place a few blocks away for dinner. She knew Ben would never ask her to pay for dinner, but a pizza wasn’t exactly going to break her bank, not when she wasn’t paying for much and her tax refund had come in. 

She had knocked on Ben’s office door before starting on lunch and, in no time, he was joining her in the kitchen.

“So, how was your morning?” He asked as he grabbed a drink from the fridge and settled down at the counter, accepting his plate with a nod before digging in.

“Good, I figured out the sewing machine, and made us a couple of masks.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“What else are you going to make?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided. There were a few patterns for some clothing items, but I don’t know if I want to tackle anything that big yet. How was work?” She asked taking a bite.

“Fine, the call went well. The artwork for the book is set up it’s just finishing up a few final edits, then I’m done until I it’s time to start for the next book.”

“How long before then?” They still hadn’t talked about his work much, she still seemed to keep to the boundary that was set early in their relationship.

Ben shrugged. “Depends. I usually take some time off in between, but I still jot down ideas and work on outlining and things. Maybe a few weeks before I set myself to a hard schedule, unless I end up with a writing bug, then I just go with it and let it work.”

“You like what you do.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes, parts of it. I enjoy writing, the process with other people can be challenging but it allows me to grow as a writer and its nice that someone else is always checking that you’re staying on whatever course you set. The reviews when a book is released, I can do without.” He grimaced at that.

“That’s understandable, is that partly why you write under a pseudonym?”

“No, I actually think some of the reviews would be less harsh if they knew they were critiquing a person. I just didn’t get into writing for the fame, like I’ve said, I like my privacy. I also didn’t want to drag my family,” she didn’t miss the glance he threw her then, “through any of the mud that comes with being a public figure, it isn’t for me. With my Uncle Luke and my grandfather being authors I saw how the world responded to them, the idea of putting myself or anyone else through it makes my skin crawl.”

Rey understood where he was coming from and respected his decision. 

“Would you ever change your mind?” She asked gently.

“I don’t see myself doing that. At this point in my career they would look at it as a publicity stunt. I’m half tempted to disclose posthumously, and half tempted to let people spend centuries guessing who I am, like Shakespeare.” 

Rey snorted a laugh, nearly choking on her drink.

“What’s your leaning today?”

He feigned a thoughtful look stroking his chin, Rey couldn’t help but grin like an idiot at him.

“I’m leaning toward Shakespeare, give future generations something to do, maybe even leave clues, like National Treasure.”

Rey laughed.

“Ben Solo, who knew you had such a sense of humor?”

“Who said I was joking?” Feigning shock at her accusation.

“Well, as nice as this is, I want you to get your work done so I can steal your body heat after dinner.” Rey said swiping his empty plate.

“Well, who knew that Rey had a bossy side.”

“You haven’t seen bossy yet.” She snarked back, tidying up the kitchen. When she turned to him, he had a heated look in his eye as he looked her up and down.

“I can’t wait.” He stood to walk back to his office then, shutting the door with a soft snick.

Ben

He had been on a roll since lunch. He couldn’t resist the promise of spending the evening curled up with Rey. It was quickly becoming his favorite past time. The ending tease of their lunch heating his blood. As much as he was looking forward to slowly building intimacy by waiting, he knew that there would be moments that it would be challenging.

He was about to shut everything down for the evening when his phone dinged. 

He picked it up curious. Now that Rey had free reign of the apartment, she knew she could knock if she needed anything. He looked at it to see she had sent him a message with a dropped pin.

He opened it to see she was about a block away. He got up worried about what that would mean and decided to go look for her. He grabbed his coat and keys locking the door behind him.

His heart raced madly in his chest, worried for her, unsure of why that was. He texted the pin location to Hux and texted him to call the police for a check on a woman walking on that block.

For the sake of his impatience he took the stairs practically running down them before he made it to the street level exit. He looked around not seeing her approach and made for the direction of the pizza place they would order from, maybe she had gone to go get dinner. He turned a corner and he spotted two figures on the sidewalk. The sun finally went behind a building and he saw it was Rey and Snap. Snap had his back to him and didn’t see Ben’s approach, must have cornered Rey on her way back to the apartment. 

As he approached them, he could hear the conversation.

“We were meant to be, we can be together now, work can’t stop us.”

“I’m not interested, I’m with someone.”

“What? With that asshole? You just fucking him for his money and a place to stay?” His voice rose and he raised his hand as if to hit her. Ben’s blood boiling at the way this piece of shit was talking to Rey.

Thankfully, Ben was in reach and could grab Snap’s wrist before he struck Rey. 

Rey’s eyes wide with fear and then surprised relief with Ben’s presence.

He squeezed the man’s wrist hard in his grip, the man turning in surprise and letting out a shout. A younger version of himself providing ways to handle this situation that would easily lead to Ben’s arrest and Rey’s disgust.

“I suggest you get some sense and leave her alone.” Ben growled threateningly.

The man tried to yank his arm out of Ben’s grip only for Ben to let go so Snap fell on his ass on the dirty sidewalk.

“You don’t get to make that decision.” Snap practically shouted back. Ben moved to put himself between Snap and Rey, fearful that Snap would lunge for her if he had a chance. 

“Take a hint, she’s not interested in you. You’ve followed her around and been a creep. I suggest you leave and don’t talk to her again.”

“Or what?” Snap had the audacity to act incredulous.

Ben smiled smugly seeing something Snap didn’t.

“Or the police will get involved.”

At that moment, a squad car pulled up flashing its lights.

An officer got out of the car as another was pulling up across the street.

The two officers had all three parties separate. Rey handed off the now cold pizza box off to Ben as she talked to one officer as Snap talked to another. He watched Rey as she crossed her arms in front of her, he wasn’t sure if it was protective gesture or if she was cold or some combination of both. He felt fidgety and helpless seeing her go through this alone. 

When it was Ben’s turn, he handed off the pizza to Rey and shrugged off his coat to drape over Rey’s shoulders. 

The officer asked him what he was doing there, how he knew of Rey’s whereabouts. He showed the officers the text that Rey sent him, if they were anything like the police that came to the apartment, he wasn’t so sure they’d believe that he didn’t have location software on her phone. 

It was probably a good 30 minutes before everyone was released to go their separate ways. Ben taking the pizza from Rey to carry it in one hand and pressing his free hand gently to the small of her back.

Rey had barely spoken a word by the time they got back to the apartment. Ben put the box on the counter and turned on the oven. He turned to her to see her disappear down the hall to her room, he gave her time in case she just needed to be alone for a minute. It wasn’t long and he heard a scream and a crash come from her direction that he went rushing to her. At first when he looked in her room, he didn’t see her. Not until he turned and saw her sitting in the corner of her room between her nightstand and the wall. He went to her and crouched down in front of her, not touching her right away, unsure of what she needed. Her face was buried in her arms and she was panting, he reached out to touch her but she flinched away from him as if he had burned her, so he sat back and waited.

“Rey.” He said softly.

“Why?” She pleaded desperately.

“Why, what?” Ben asked back in confusion.

“Why me?

“It’s not you, that guy is an asshole.”

“No. Why did you pick me?” She looked up at him then, her eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t understand.” Ben shook his head, fear clawing up his throat.

“I’m a mess, everything about my life is a mess.” She choked out through tears, looking at a spot on the floor.

He signed heavily unsure where to begin but desperate to comfort her.

“You’re more than your mess. I picked you because you’re you.” He reached for her again, desperate to touch and reassure her, feeling her detach herself from him. It felt strangely familiar. 

“I’ve been nothing but a burden to you for weeks.”

“That’s not true.” She looked angry then.

“You’ve had to pay for my stuff, and cook for me, and clean up after me!” She rebutted angrily.

“You would have done the same for me.” He stated simply. She sniffled then. 

“But can you say that you would have done this for anyone?”

“Pffft, no.”

“Do you pity me?” That struck a nerve and he immediately responded to her.

“Absolutely not.”

“Then why me? There’s nothing particularly special about me!”

"Rey, don’t you see?”

She looked terrified for a moment, her lip quivering. “See what?” She asked tears filling her eyes again.

“I…. Rey... I.” He stumbled over his words knowing he had to say them or regret it.

He took in a breath for courage. “Rey. I love you.” She stared in disbelief but said nothing. “I think I’ve loved you since I watched you carry three boxes that you couldn’t even see over and refused my offer for help. Then, later that night you proceeded to eat a whole entire dessert menu and called it breakfast for dinner.”

She released a watery laugh, and he did his best to open his posture reaching out to take her hand that had been gripping her arm and tug her to his lap. She came willingly, tucking herself under his chin. He felt her shudder out a breath and he let himself relax around her.

“Rey, I want the good, the bad and everything in between with you. You need to know that.”

She was quiet for a minute before she took in a breath to speak, he could feel the front of his shirt becoming damp from her tears and just held her tighter.

“What if you change your mind?” she asked, sniffling through the question.

“I just don’t foresee that happening.”

“How do you know that you love me?”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.” He stroked her hair away from her face, holding her to his chest and dropped a kiss on her head.

“What if I’m not there, yet?” Her voice was small and fearful when she asked this.

“If I held that against you, I wouldn’t deserve you. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t 100 percent ready to tell you that yet, but I would rather tell you too soon than risk losing you.”

She seemed to relax then, which relieved him.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. You don’t need to apologize for just existing when there’s a global pandemic and you find yourself with a stalker.” He sat there quietly for a moment, gently swaying with her cradled in front of him.

“You said to take things slow, and I know that I seem to be breaking all of the rules about that, but I need you to know that I want this, that I want you, and I don’t know how else to tell you or show you without using the actual words.”

“I’ve had 3 meltdowns in the short time you’ve known me, what if I become too much?”

He huffed a breath into her hair and rubbed his hand along her arm, to soothe her or himself he couldn’t say.

“It’s not the worst thing ever, I get to hold you, comfort you, show you I’m good boyfriend material.” The last comment an attempt to add some levity. “I get to learn a lot about you, too. What helps, what doesn’t, what you need, what you don’t.”

She shook her head. “But what do you really get from this relationship?”

“You make me want to do more than just exist. I was existing before I met you. Eat, sleep, workout, work, wash, rinse, repeat. You know when I went on that last work trip, I actually did something off schedule. I hit a museum, I checked out a park, and went to the theater. And the whole time I thought, Rey would love this, and I wanted to share that with you, I hated that you weren’t there.”

“Is that why you started to ask me to hang out more after that?”

“Yes.”

She rested against him and was quiet for a long time after that.

“Our dinner was ruined.” She said mournfully against his chest.

“I have the oven on, we can heat the pizza back up. Maybe have pizza in bed? It is Friday night after all. Put on comfy pajamas, turn on the fireplace, make a nest of blankets? Whatever you want.”

“Yes, please.” She nodded against him.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

Rey

She was sitting on the bed leaning against the headboard, she put on her comfiest pajamas and crawled under the weighted blanket, still trying to calm herself. She thought back to the evening, she had seen a car that looked like Snap’s when she was walking into the pizza place and pulled open her messages to Ben. She didn’t want to alarm him unnecessarily; all beige compact sedans mostly looked the same to her.

She left the shop balancing the box on her hip to bring down her mask as she made her way to the apartment. She saw that the car was gone, shrugged it off and went about her walk home. It was on the final block that she spotted someone leaning against the wall, not facing her. She immediately pulled out her phone and sent her location to Ben. She hoped he got it.

She had felt her heart racing. She tried to be as quiet as possible to not be noticed, her mind going back to the foster home with the squeaky floorboards. However, as she got closer she noticed that the person carried himself too much like Snap to not be him. 

She shivered now despite the hour that had passed. The feeling of relief when she saw Ben, his eyes a little wild and nostrils flaring in anger when he gripped Snap’s wrist. When the police had arrived moments later, she had never been so relieved to have someone she could depend on. And that threw her into a spiral.

She’d never had anyone to rely on, only herself. Sure, she had her friends, but they had their own lives, their own problems and she always felt like such a burden to them to ask for anything outside of emotional support

It startled her immensely that Ben cared enough for her to date her let alone lover her. On the other hand, she’d be a fool to think that he didn’t. Hadn’t he proven himself? He seemed to love her without question or without the need to accept anything back in return. She didn’t even understand how that was possible, she wasn’t sure she even knew that for sure now. 

She felt so damaged, unsure how to accept love from people, because until she left England she never recalled experiencing it, sure her teachers seemed to like her well enough, but her goal in school was to be as successful as possible without getting too much attention. . Even the adults that were supposed to look out for her as a child offered nothing more than a roof and the occasional meal when her workers would visit. 

Ben seemed to care for her regardless of what she contributed financially or work wise. He was right though she wouldn’t have held it against him if the roles were reversed and would fight tooth and nail to get the other person to accept her help if they were struggling. Her thoughts were disrupted when Ben came in carrying the now dented box of pizza in one hand, and a shopping bag in the other.

“Oh!” She shifted to get up.

“Hey I got this far, I got it.”

He set the pizza and on the foot of the bed and handed Rey the bag containing paper plates, candy for their movie night. Ben pulled two bottles of cider out of his pockets, twisting off the caps as he handed them to Rey. 

“Thanks, Ben.” She said quietly opening the pizza box.

“No, problem. I’m gonna change quick. Want to pick a movie?” She nodded, reaching for the remote. 

Ben fiddled with the fireplace remote before grabbing sleep pants out of a drawer and disappearing to the bathroom.

Rey grabbed a slice of pizza and put it on the plate. She scrolled through movies and didn’t feel like staying focused on one so she decided on watching Community instead.

Ben came back in and crawled into bed, settling in next to her. He pulled the box into his lap and grabbed a slice for himself. 

“So what’s this?” Ben pointed to the TV.

Rey just stared at him a bit.

“It’s community, a TV show.” He just shrugged at her. “Sometimes I worry about how sheltered you are.”

He huffed a laugh.

“Fair enough, good thing I have you here to teach me.” He nudged her with his elbow, a smile playing at his lips. 

They ate and watched, drank their beer. Before long Ben had settled behind her, like that day he had found her on the balcony. They had dug into the candy and Ben would occasionally pop sour patch kids into her mouth between her bites of Twizzlers. 

Eventually the show was forgotten, Ben trailing kisses down Rey’s neck and nuzzling the shell of her ear. He seemed to enjoy stoking the heat growing between her legs. His fingers tracing patterns over her ribs caused her to squirm and gasp in response. She would have been irritated at him egging her on except that she could feel the evidence of his own arousal pressed into her back. 

She wasn’t aware of how much time had passed before Ben gave her a slow languid kiss and adjusted her to lay on the pillows while scooting out from under her.

She whined at the loss of him and grabbed his wrist in attempt to pull him back to bed. She couldn’t help but notice the tent in his pants as he got up to pick up their dinner mess, she turned her face into the pillows to hid her blush and to keep from staring.

“I’ll be back, but I think it’s best if I take a breather.” He said as he leant back over her to kiss her temple, pizza box in hand.

“oh?”

“Yes, breather or O.” 

She laughed deciding to get up herself and finish washing up for bed. Within 10 minutes they were both back in the bed, Ben curled around her and they both drifted off to sleep.


	16. Day 18- Date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this took a little while, and note the rating change and tags. Probably not the best chapter to read at work. I'm not a hundred percent sure if I like the smutty part but decided to post it before I had too much time to think about it.

Day 18

She was back in that house again, with the creaky floorboards. It was dark and her vision was blurry. She could feel her heart beating in her ears. She tried to move to sneak out of the house, it was late, she couldn’t stay here, he’d find her. But she couldn’t move, it was like she was in quicksand with how cumbersome she was, her legs felt tired. She had a hard time seeing and heard the creek behind her. She heard the heavy breathing and could even smell the stale booze and cigarettes. She could feel herself panting, the hair prickling at the back of her neck. She could hear her own whimpers in her effort to get away. She heard him turn the corner, one heavy footstep on the floorboard the creaked in the center.

“Rey.” She jolted awake at her name. Her breath stopping momentarily before taking a gulp of air.

“Rey, you’re safe, you’re here, you’re home.” The numbness of sleep was wearing off and she could feel Ben wrapped tightly around her and was aware of the streetlights peaking in through the window. She let out a breath of relief and felt him relax against her. 

“Tell me what I can do.” He mumbled softly behind her.

“Just stay with me for a bit.”

“Wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Anything else?”

She rolled to face him, and Ben loosened his grip around her to allow her to move more easily. She tucked herself under his chin and tucked her arms in between them. Ben curled the arm that was supporting her head to stroke her hair while his other hand roamed her back, pressing into the muscles along her spine and shoulders. She didn’t know how long they laid there, in the dark and quiet. For the first time in forever she felt safe enough to speak and open up, although she was still nervous.

“When I was twelve, I had a foster placement that wasn’t safe.” She swallowed thickly her mouth dry. “At night my foster dad would get drunk, slap around my foster mum. She’d go to bed crying, or on rare occasions drink herself numb. On the nights she’d lock herself away, he’d come for me. It only took it happening a couple times for me to realize that running away at night was my best option.” She felt him still around her, his muscled frame tense, as if ready for a fight. 

“On the nights he came for me, he slapped me around, I was too small to do anything. But with the way he leered at me, and the comments he made, I knew it was only a matter of time before he stopped hitting and started on something else.” She felt his hand at the small of her back ball into a fist. 

“So, at night, I’d sneak down the hall with the creaky floorboards and hope that he didn’t hear. I’d spend the night someplace else, a park, an elderly neighbor’s porch. Luckily, I was out of there before winter hit. My worker noticed how thin I’d gotten, the patches under my eyes, the bruises on the woman and around my arm.” She shrugged away the overwhelming memories, wiping at her eyes.

“So, nine times out of ten, when I dream it is of that house and him finding me when I’m trying to get away.” She felt Ben take a heaving breath and his hands resuming their restless motions, whether they were to comfort her or him or both she wasn’t sure.

“Did you ever tell?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, after I had left. I was always afraid that if I told while I lived there, they wouldn’t believe me and it would only get worse.”

“I hate that you went through that.”

“I know.”

“What happened to him?”

She shrugged. “Rumor has it he got drunk and wrapped his car around a pole.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, going quiet for a while before continuing. “I don’t know how to comfort you, I feel like I’m ill equipped.”

“You’re here, and you heard me. And that’s enough.” He hugged her to his chest and leaned up on his elbow to kiss her temple before letting the night take them back to sleep. 

Ben woke to bright morning light filling the room and Rey’s head on his shoulder and her arm flung across his chest, they must have moved in the night. She had been right when she once told him that she kicks in her sleep, in fact that was what had woke him last ngith and once he had realized what happened he immediately shifted to comfort her. 

He knew that her childhood wasn’t easy, that she had been bounced around and been in abusive situations. It wouldn’t have mattered how much she prepared him, even with him imagining the worst, he still couldn’t help but feel vicious anger and hostility toward those who had ever done her harm. 

He could feel his anger rising again and looked down at the woman who was about a third of the way from using him as a bed. He chuckled as he thought about all the men who complain about _all of that wasted space_ on the other side of the mattress and he couldn’t bring himself to care. He really wouldn’t have it any other way, he’d sleep in a lumpy twin bed if it meant spending every night with Rey. He watched her sleep, her hair always seeming to be in her eyes when it was down. He controlled his urge to brush it away to see the constellation of freckles on her nose and cheeks, not wanting to wake her. 

He turned to look at the clock noting that it was still early enough in the morning that he could let himself lay there. He still had their dinner and date to plan and prepare for. He knew what he would cook, he really hoped she would wear a dress. They had spent so much time in lounge wear and he really just wanted tonight to be perfect and special. 

He was pulled from his musing when Rey began to stir rubbing one of her legs against his own, bringing back the better thoughts from the night before. He was going to need to take a longer shower this morning or risk popping like a cork at her slightest touch. 

His restless hands started wandering as she stirred from her sleep and lifted her head. She rested her chin on his chest to offer him a sleepy smile. 

“Mmm what time is it?” She asked stifling a yawn.

“About 8:30.”

“What? And you’re still in bed? This must be one for the record books.” She grinned at him cheekily and he was half tempted to kiss that smug smile off her face.

“I didn’t want to risk the sleeping dragon that was using me as a bed.” He teased back, she went to push herself off. Whether her offense was feigned or genuine he couldn’t tell, so he held her to him to let her know that he didn’t want her anywhere else. “Oh, no Miss Johnson. I am afraid I’ve gotten quite used to your presence here.” She buried her face in his chest lying more fully on him than before. 

“Good.” A muffled reply came. He went back to his earlier distraction of letting his hands move over her back and arms. 

“I should get up.” She stated simply after a few moments.

“You don’t have to.”

“Mmm, I’d love to, but I hear I have a hot date tonight.”

“Oh, really? Who’s the guy?”

“I don’t know, some tall bloke who’s a plaid shirt away from being a lumberjack.” 

“Alright, that’s enough sass for this early in the morning.” He flipped them over caging her in under him. Her giggles breaking the morning quiet and her grin was brighter than the morning light filling the room. He leaned down and kissed her letting her feel what she did to him as he pressed it into her hip. She let out a gasp and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue slide over hers before he backed away to bite gently at her lip before pulling away.

“Now, as for tonight.” He couldn’t help the raspy quality his voice took on with his arousal. “I would love if you got all dressed up. Just because we’re not going anywhere fancy doesn’t mean we can’t make a special event of it after all.” She squirmed under him, seeming to attempt to finish what he started. He gave her a peck on the nose before rising up to his knees. 

“You’re going to get me all hot and bothered and just turn it off?” She asked, a slight whine to her voice.

He looked pointedly down to his erection; he could feel his ears burning in embarassment. “It hurts me more than you know, besides we can pick up where we started after dinner. As for now I’m going to take a cold shower before I relive my painful adolescence.” She huffed a laugh and he moved to head to the bathroom and start his day.

Rey

She had spent the day sewing, letting Ben have his half of the apartment to himself so that way he could plan for their date. He had requested she dress up, he didn’t hide that he had hoped to see her in a dress. She secretly liked that he was making a big deal about it. As much as the cynical part of her wanted to roll her eyes and say it didn’t need it to be a big deal, a small part liked the fuss and the mystery of an important date. She had gone out on nice dinners before and even dressed up for them on rare occasions. However, most of the men she dated were pizza or pub burger and a movie guys. She had never dated anyone who had the potential to be as sophisticated as Ben. Granted he had never done that with her before, it was always jeans and a t-shirt or button up when they’d grab dinner or a movie. 

She looked in her closet and was overwhelmed with dissatisfaction, if they weren’t in the middle of an apocalypse situation she’d consider going to buy a new outfit. She had about 3 dresses that were date worthy. A simple black number, a floral one that was more summer weather appropriate and a dark blue lacy one that that she wore for a fancy new years party. She went with the blue dress and decided on nude pumps because that was what she had, she could still remember the blisters they left after a night out with Finn and Rose. She didn’t really plan on walking anywhere, just to wear around the apartment.

It was around 5:55 and she was just putting the finishing touches on her make up when there was a knock on her door. 

“Come in.” She was greeted with silence. She gave herself one more once over before going to the door to open it.

Her jaw about dropped to the floor. Ben naturally looked good, he always dressed well. But seeing him in front of her now just made her want to pinch herself to see if this was real. He wore a navy-blue suit with a pristine white dress shirt. His suit was obviously tailored to fit him like a glove, the jacket hugging the muscles in his arms and the pants were sinfully tight. Her eyes scanned his whole frame before returning to his face to catch him drinking her in as well. 

“You look amazing.” He stated after a swallow.

“Thank you, you as well.”

“Sorry I don’t have any flowers.”

“It’s quite alright.” He offered his arm for her to take, which she did with a bashful smile.

He walked with her to the living area to see the small dining table set with tapered candles and dishes she didn’t remember ever seeing. She looked at him quizzically.

“Oh, the table setting is from my mother. She insisted on getting them for me as a housewarming gift. They’ve been in a box in my closet ever since.”

“Ah. They look nice, I like them.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He said as he pulled out her chair for her.

“So, what is on the menu tonight? Whatever it is, it smells delicious.”

“Shrimp scampi risotto.”

“Cider?”

“Yes, Please.” He picked up the bottle off the table and removed the lid to pour into her glass. 

“The place out of Seattle? That’s my favorite.” 

Ben smirked. “Like any good writer I did my research.”

“You talked to Rose?”

“Of course. Someone had to make sure you didn’t have some weird seafood allergy or some aversion to some food I was unaware of.”

“You are the perfect man, Ben Solo.”

“Hm. Can I get a signed note sent to my parents?” He smirked at her.

“Whatever you want.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

He walked away to bring over two steaming bowls.

“It looks good, too.” Rey didn’t really have a good idea of what risotto was until it was sitting in front of her. She had the patience to wait for Ben to take his seat. He lifted his glass, so she mirrored him. 

“To new beginnings.” He toasted her.

“To new beginnings.” She said softly back, gently tinking their glasses together before taking a sip.

The savored the sweet laced tartness of the drink before setting it down to dig into her meal.

As they ate, they chatted about their days, where Ben had learned to cook like this, and other easy things. It generally did feel very first date like despite having lived together these past 3 months.

“So, I have plan, it may require a short walk.” He said it more like a question.

“Oh, ok.” He let out a breath and went and grabbed their coats. He gently helped her into hers, she didn’t miss his fingers brushing against the skin in between her shoulder blades as he helped her into it.

He opened the door for her and guided her out and down the hall. 

“Where are we going?”

“Can I surprise you?”

“Ok.”

So, they walked out into the brisk evening, taking in the glow of the city at night. They had only walked three blocks when she realized where he was taking her.

“The Capital?”

“Yes, I think it’s always beautiful lit up at night.”

She took it in, noting the lights aimed at the dome and statue that seemed to gleam even at night.

They crossed the street to go towards it, striding along the sidewalk that crossed through the lawn and heading up the stairs of this side of the building.

“Surely it’s closed at night.” Rey said, a bit winded from the stairs they just took.

“It is, but we’re not going in.” He led them to center of the top of the stairs, the lawn and city laid out before them. He pulled out his phone and pushed a few buttons. A soft song playing a gentle rhythm. It was one Rey had heard before but never really paid much mind to.

“Dance with me?” He asked. His cheeks a bit pink.

“Dancing?” She asked a little breathlessly, she was sure someone could have knocked her over with a feather.

“Yes, dancing.” He pulled her towards him and led her in a gentle sway. 

Rey was mesmerized by the gentle rhythm, his reassuring touch, and view of the city. She was a little overwhelmed by emotion, the thoughtfulness, the planning, it was like it was out of a movie. She wondered when her life had changed from being an afterschool special.

She was a bit startled by that thought, wondering when that had changed. But she wouldn’t let herself be distracted from the moment and rested her head against Ben’s chest, letting him lead her. 

They didn’t stay for long, after two songs Ben broke the spell he had set.

“More dancing or are you ready to go home?” He asked quietly.

“Home, please.” She grinned at him.

He walked with her down the stairs, watching her carefully so she didn’t loose her footing.

“You ok? You seem unsteady.”

“Yeah, these shoes are killing me is all. They’re murder, if they wouldn’t have cost so much, I wouldn’t still have them.”

Ben stopped abruptly at the foot of the stairs kneeling down in front of her. Her heart stopped for a moment unsure of what this was.

“Ben, what are you doing?” Her voice felt tight and panicky, she looked around them not sure what to do or expect. He looked at her confused for a moment before realizing what it must look like.

“I was going to offer to take your shoes off and carry you.” His tone was firm.

“Pardon?” She asked she couldn’t tell if she was offended, in disbelief, or if she heard him wrong.

“I made you walk 3 blocks and dance in painful shoes. Rey, I refuse to let you walk back like that. So, do you want piggyback ride, I can carry you, or I can call us a lyft.” His face was stern, and his tone left no room for arguments.

She looked down at her dress, unsure if her it would survive a piggyback ride without her giving a show to everyone that passed.

She signed in defeat and nodded.

“Carry.”

Ben nodded took hold of one ankle encouraging her to lift it while he removed her shoe and did the same to the other, Rey used his shoulders to keep her balance. He handed them to her as he stood and draped her free arm around his shoulder as he scooped her up as if she weighed nothing.

He had managed to pin the back of her dress between her thighs and his arm so at least some of her dignity would be intact.

She studied his features for a minute, all serious and concentrating on his path home.

“Do you do this often?”

He lifted a brow at her.

“Do what?”

“Carry women off to your apartment after a date?”

He laughed.

“Nope, you’re the first.”

She hummed contentedly and leaned her head into his shoulder.

“Although, full disclosure?” She nodded for him to continue. “I always had a thing for Rocky movies as a kid, and I did think the scene after the wedding was pretty cool. At least I did once girls stopped having cooties.” He cleared his throat, seemingly embarrassed about his confession.

“For writing some pretty gory horror you sure are sweet.”

“yeah, yeah.” He brushed off her compliment.

“So, what’s next?”

“Take the lady home and see if she had a nice enough time to give me a kiss goodnight.”

She leaned up and kissed his cheek then, which was soon followed by a wolf whistle of a passerby across the street.

“The lady had a very nice time.” She said to him lowly.

“Then I guess I’ll have to ask for a night cap.”

“I would recommend it.” She said playfully.

His gaze snapped to her, a sly smirk gracing his features.

“Aren’t you’re arms tired?”

“Honest?” She nodded.

“A bit, but no worse than on a good work out day.”

“I can walk.”

“Nonsense, we’re two buildings away. You might have to walk yourself into the building though, doors are tricky.”

When they got to their security door Ben set her down so they could walk into the building, she didn’t bother putting her shoes on and they made their way to the elevator. 

“I had a really nice time tonight Ben, possibly the nicest date I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. But next time I get to plan.”

“So, I get another date?”

“Of course, you do.” When the elevator stopped and he took her hand, threading his thick fingers between her slim ones. 

She turned as he was walking through the door.

“Nightcap?” She asked coyly.

He closed the distance between them in record time, leaning down to meet her, his mouth swallowing her gasp of surprise. He cupped her jaw with one hand and held her to him by the waist with the other. She rose up on her toes to reach him better. 

He slid off his jacket letting it hit the floor where they stood and quickly slid her own coat down her arms to leave it with his. His lips worked their way down her jaw and neck and his hands trailed her shoulders and back, touching any bit of bare skin he could reach. He gently walked her backwards toward the couch.

“Bed?” Rey asked him.

Ben pulled back and looked at her his brows furrowed in a look of concern.

“I didn’t want to rush you.” He said breathlessly, his hands firmly gripping her waist.

“I know, I just…. You said this morning we could finish where we left off this morning.” She said hopefully.

His features relaxed.

“I did say that.” He stepped back into her space then resting his forehead against hers.

“What’s the boundary.”

“Not sex.”

“Okay.”

“What else?” He asked before leaning in to nibble at her ear and neck.

“I’m not sure.” She said breathlessly, getting caught up in his attentions.

“I’ve been wanting to lay you on the table and eat you out since dinner.”

She gasped then, that fire from the morning returning with full force.

“But the first time I do that, I want you to be sprawled out in my bed.” He pressed her to him, and she felt his erection press into her belly. She took in a shaky breath and dropped her forehead to his chest.

“We also don’t have to do that today.” He rubbed her arms reassuringly. “You have full control. I just want you to know what I want, at least eventually.”

Her heart raced. She wanted everything with him but her sexual experiences had never been anything to write home about and she was uncertain. She also didn’t want to confuse sex with love, although that seemed to not apply with Ben because he already said he loved her, and she was pretty sure she loved him, too.

“I don’t know. I want everything, but I don’t want to rush, and what if I’m bad at-“ She was rambling. He tipped her chin up so she’d meet his eyes.

“Hey, we can just go slow, savor things. I can guarantee I will enjoy whatever we do.” His thumb brushing her cheek sent a prickle down her neck and she leaned into it. She realized then that this relationship did not compare to any relationship she had previously had. Ben cared for her, was open with his feelings, supported her to identify her needs, didn’t push her away when she was vulnerable and was open with her in turn. So, she allowed herself to be bold in that moment. Taking his hand in hers she tugged him down the hall to the bedroom.

She pulled him through the doorway guiding him to the bed before pushing him to sit down on the bed. She climbed onto his lap her legs straddling his, her dress riding up a bit to accommodate the spread of her thighs. When she looked at him, he looked a bit awe struck. She tried not to think about that too much before leaning in and kissing him.

He kissed her back with fervor and before she knew it the feelings from this morning had returned. One hand was in his hair while the other was on his shoulder to help keep her balance as she gently rocked herself in his lap. One of his large hands easily gripped her thigh while other was a firm presence on her ass, keeping her close and supporting her in her movements. 

It wasn’t long until they were both a panting mess, she pulled away to catch her breath to be greeted with Ben’s hooded gaze. He lifted her easily to lay her on the bed. He stood up and kicked off his shoes and started to unbutton his shirt, he paused and looked at her before he took it off, as if asking if it was ok. She bit her lip and nodded, squirming a bit. She couldn’t help but think about what he had looked like the morning she caught him working out and she was excited to see him again. 

He shed his button up and pants, leaving him in his boxer briefs and undershirt, and crawled back into bed with her. He kissed his way up her neck and jaw before settling back in between her legs, shifting his hips a bit against the seat of her. She could feel heat and slick pool where their bodies met. She was sure he could feel how much she wanted him. She was torn between being embarrassed and allowing it to turn her on more. The arm that wasn’t supporting Ben’s weight, trailed up her thigh before moving up to cup her breast, his thumb ghosting over the peak. His breath huffed against her neck when he realized she was braless.

“Rey, I want to see all of you. Can I?”

He pulled back to look her in the eye and she nodded, her nerves spiking some. She had always had a slight frame and small breasts. She could remember often being teased for them and struggled with being confident as he sat up to tug her dress over her head, her arms came down to cover herself instinctually.

“Please don’t, Rey. They’re perfect, you’re perfect.” He leaned down nudging her to lay on the bed so he could kiss his way down to her chest. Her hands fell back to his hair, holding him to her as his tongue circled her nipple before sucking it into his mouth. She gripped his hair and arched into him, letting out a small noise of approval. 

It only seemed to egg him on, switching to the other breast and giving it the same treatment. He kneeled between her thighs, both hands free to explore her. On hand attended to the breast his mouth ignored, while his other hand trailed up and down her thighs, his thumb tracing the edges of her panties sending tingles of pleasure through her. 

She writhed under him, panting and mewling. She had never felt so undone with such simple acts. He groaned as she tilted her pelvis to his hand, seeking more friction.

“God, Rey.” He broke away from her for a moment, he breath fanning over her wet breast to create a new sensation. “You’re so wet. I can feel you through your panties.”

She repeated the motion.

“Fuck, Rey.” He was breathless above her, his hand moving up and down her center. “Can I take these off? I just want to see you. I want to make you feel good. Please.” He had a pleading tone to his voice which made her keen. He attacked her mouth with kisses, as if unable to stop to focus on any one thing, his hand on her breast continuing alternate between kneading it and tweaking her nipple. 

She nodded, moving her hands to her waist to remove them only to have them batted away so he could do the honor himself. He hooked his fingers in the waist band and drew them down her legs, kissing her knee as he passed it. He tossed them to the floor without taking his gaze off her. She could see his Adams apple bob in his throat, the intensity of him making her self-conscious that she began to draw in on herself. 

“You’re so beautiful, so perfect.” His eyes traveled up and down her exposed body.

“I feel like this is very uneven.” She whispered. That seemed to shake him from his trance, and he removed his shirt. His muscles rippling with the movement, he paused to look her over again, her skin prickling under the heat of his gaze, before he leaned down to kiss her. He shifted so his chest pressed to hers and his hips slotted between her thighs, his hardness pressed against her through his underwear creating a delicious friction. 

Her self-conscious thoughts melted away, enjoying the firm press of him. She rocked her hips, the friction sending a jolt of pleasure through her and eliciting a moan from him. He broke away from their kiss to explore down her body. He alternated kisses with nips, soothing overly enthusiastic bites with his tongue before continuing his journey. Her hands found their way to his hair, clutching him to her as she bucked and writhed under him. 

“Ben,” she panted when he returned to her breasts. She looked down at him only to meet his heated gaze, his eyes practically black from lust. He held her gaze before moving further down her body, his fingers trailing over her rib cage, causing her to tremble. 

He paused before moving over her center and placed a kiss on her inner thigh, letting his fingers trail through the wetness between her folds. 

“Can I keep going?” His gaze leaving hers so he could suck little marks into her thigh.

“Yes, but I don’t know if I can…” She cut herself off, not knowing what to say. His eyes snapped back to hers then and his brow furrowed a bit in confusion before he closed his eyes and took a in a breath. 

“I’m sure you can. I want to try, and if I’m doing something you don’t like, or doesn’t feel good please tell me. I want this to be so very, very good for you.” He smirked before giving a firm nip to her inner thigh and soothing it with his tongue. He looked back up at her, a question in his eyes before she realized that he was checking she was still ok with this. 

She nodded and he wasted no time, taking a long lick of her center. She gasped and arched her back off the bed at the sensation. His fingers gently explored her outer labia before pinning her thighs open and letting his tongue explore her folds. He moved gently, repeating actions that made her writhe and moan. 

Suddenly he moved back away from her, she whimpered unable to contain her disappointment.

“Shhh,” he soothed. “We’ll get right back there, but I need to do something first.”

He backed down to the foot of the bed, gripping her thighs and tugging her down along with him so her ass was flush with the end of the bed.

He kneeled on the floor and pinned her thighs back with his hands before getting back to his task, groaning when his mouth reconnected with her pussy.

He upped his intensity licking and sucking at her clit until she was a soaked mess. He moved one of his hands away from her thigh and pushed a finger slowly into her weeping cunt. The added sensation upping her pleasure.

She moaned and bucked her hips causing him to groan which only spurred her on further. He inserted a second finger and started to build a rhythm, fucking his fingers into her and sucking at her clit. He moved his other hand to her breast and pinched and rolled her nipple. This pushed her to a new plateau. She chanted his name and thrusted against his mouth and fingers. She continued to tug mercilessly on his hair which didn’t seem to discourage him at all.

“Are you gonna come for me, Rey?”

He asked, voice thick with arousal. 

She peeked at him when one had left her breast, she watched the motion of his shoulder as he must have been pumping himself, this only seemed to heighten her arousal, watching him get off to her pleasure.

“Come for me baby, I can feel you’re so close.” His fingers never stopped pumping and his thumb came up to circle her clit and that’s when she lost it. Jerking and moaning with each wave of pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes. Fuck.” She heard Ben groan out his own completion. Both a panting mess, Ben’s forehead resting on her thigh, a sheen of dampness between their skin. She was unsure how much of it was sweat versus her own arousal. It wasn’t long and he crawled up on to the bed, his body coming back into contact along sider hers, causing another shudder of arousal. He kissed her forehead before helping her shift back up to the pillows. It wasn’t long before they both fell asleep a tangle of limbs.

Ben

He started awake, only to realize Rey was in the bathroom. He looked at the clock, they hadn’t been asleep long, only a few minutes. He got up to pick up their clothes, ensuring that the shirt he had used to catch his own cum made it to the hamper. He could hear Rey moving in the bathroom still.

He paused at the door, giving a light tap. “Rey, are you ok?” 

“Yeah, just cleaning myself up. I’ll be out in a sec.”

“Ok.” He walked to the kitchen and grabbed their phones to put on chargers and hang their coats up, he stopped at Rey’s bathroom to take a moment to clean himself up before he returned to bed.

When he made it back, Rey was in bed all curled up and he scooted in behind her to join her. She had put on one of his shirts and he kissed her temple as he pulled the blankets up around them.

“Was that ok?” He asked.

She turned to look at him a bit incredulously, so he greeted her with a cocky grin.

“More than, ok. If not a bit unfair for you. You ended up doing all of the work.” At no point in their evening had he considered any of his actions work. A new hobby or pastime, yes. An alternative to breathing and eating, he wished. But not work.

“That could hardly be classified as work. I promise you. I didn’t mind. Giving you an orgasm was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Are you sure you’re ok with it?” He took in a breath, having an idea what was feeding this.

“Look, I like you. I want you to feel good, I really enjoy being able to be the one to do that. That will not change. Making you feel good makes me feel _very_ good. If this is the only thing on the menu until you are comfortable moving on to the next thing, or forever even, that is fine with me. I still had a really great time and would be more than happy to do it again. Right now. If you want?” He moved as if to make good on his promise and she gripped his arm to keep him in place and huffed out a laugh.

“No, no. I think I’m good for tonight.” She must have seen a slight glimmer of disappointment. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but that was a bit more attention than I’ve gotten in a while.” He hummed and kissed her cheek before settling in again, this time putting his arm under her head, her hair tickling his still bare chest.

“Are you sore?” His humorous tone gone, his free hand drifting down to caress her stomach.

“Hmmmm, no. A bit sensitive still though, maybe a bit of stubble burn.”

“I can shave it all off if you’d prefer.”

“No. Keep it please, I like it on you.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He yawned and kissed her shoulder, both of them quieting to fall back into a peaceful sleep.


	17. Day 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Covid PMS is some of the worst PMS and nobody is going to tell me otherwise.

Day 19

Ben awoke to soft curses coming from Rey’s side of the bed.

“Shit, shit, shit…. No, no, no.”

“Rey, what’s wrong?” He asked in alarm, seeing she was standing off to the side of the bed and heading out of the bedroom.

“I’m fine.” She didn’t sound fine, she sounded pissed and a bit panicked.

He got up to follow her only to watch her disappear into her bedroom before coming out with a bundle of clothes.

“Rey?” He heard her slide the shower curtain closed.

He stood in the hall, looking around dumbfounded trying to figure out what went wrong. When they went to bed everything was fine. He looked down at himself, at a loss, and noticed what had to be a smear of blood on his thigh and another smear on his briefs.

His initial response was to be alarmed but realization quickly dawned that Rey must have gotten her period in the night. He walked back to his bedroom realizing that she probably wanted to be left alone to wash. He quickly cleaned himself up, not wanting to embarrass or alarm her further and checked the sheets and threw them in the wash and quickly putting on fresh.

He put on pants and a shirt and went to start on coffee. He waited for her to get out of the shower before starting breakfast, unsure what she felt like eating.

He sat sipping his coffee when she came out, hair wet and cheeks tinged pink. She briefly met his eyes before lowering them and then swiftly moving to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry if I woke you.” She muttered at the coffee pot.

“Not, a problem. Do you want to talk about it?”

Her face blushed furiously.

“I started my period.” She mumbled into the cup. 

“Oh, it’s not a big deal you know.”

“I may have gotten some on your bed.”

“I saw.” Her shoulder’s slumped.

“They’re already in the wash.”

“You’re not grossed out? Or angry?”

He felt his eyebrows disappear into his hair on the last bit.

“I am a grown man. I think I can handle the whole period discussion. I’m willing to go to the drug store buy you pads and tampons, as long as you show me a picture of what kind you need, and bring you enough chocolate and pain killers to dose a horse.”

She nodded stiffly and her shoulders relaxed a bit.

“I’m sorry, it was just that everything was so perfect, and I was already a week late and forgot about it and now it seems to have started with a vengeance.” She was doing that rambling thing she did when nervous again.

“It’s ok, really.” He said trying to be soothing. “Do you need me to go get you anything?”

“No, I should be good on supplies, but thank you for offering.”

He nodded before getting up.

“What would you like for breakfast.”

“I’m not really hungry.” Ben turned to her startled at her admission.

“I think I’m just going to go lay down in my bed for a bit.”

“You’re sure? I just put clean sheets on mine.”

“No. I’m really just going to nap, and I don’t want to be in your way.” She said, almost sounding sad.

Ben had to admit that that stung a bit. That no matter what they’d discussed she still felt burdensome, but he let it go, determined to talk to her about it later when she was feeling better. 

He nodded, feeling a bit defeated.

“If that’s what you need.” She looked like she was going to cry but left the room, her coffee cup left sitting on the counter.

Ben felt restless the rest of the morning. He cleaned the apartment top to bottom. He considered ordering delivery but Rey not eating breakfast left him feeling like she may not accept it, or that she wasn’t feeling well enough to enjoy it. He had come to the place where Rey walked away from him without a fight and without an explanation, and he felt so helpless.

Finally, at lunch time he had decided his anxiety had won out and he went and knocked on her door.

“Rey?” He heard a muffled noise and let himself in.

“Are you ok in here?” He asked. He cautiously went into the room, closing the door behind him.

“I feel miserable.” She murmured from the pile of blankets on her bed.

He steadied his nerves and sat next to her, prepared for her to push him away again.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know. I feel gross.” He watched her curl further around herself.

“Can I lay with you a bit?”

She finally peeked her head out of the covers to look at him, her eyes soft.

“You’re really not grossed out by this?”

“No? Should I be?” He took a step closer and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I don’t know. I just find that most guys are. Finn was always grossed out about it and he didn’t even have to deal with it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like physical contact with it, with me.”

“Rey, it’s just blood and fluid. It honestly doesn’t bother me. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide away, or that you can’t ask me for something that you need.” He cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing along her cheekbone.

“But you cleaned.”

“And?” He asked a bit bewildered.

“You cleaned because of me.”

He was so confused.

“I mean, I guess?” It took a moment for him to catch her meaning. “Rey, I cleaned because I was anxious, I felt like you were pushing me away.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” He could see her eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m not mad. We’re still figuring this out. I just want you to talk to me.” He laid down next to her and kissed her forehead. She nodded and burrowed into him.

“I don’t want to mess up your bed again.” She mumbled into his chest.

“The sheets washed, honestly I’ve had worse nose bleeds.”

“I don’t want to get it on you.”

He let out a sigh.

“What?”

“Full disclosure?”

She pulled back and looked at him.

“Yes?”

“It got on me, and it washed off. It honestly wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Oh my god.” She buried herself further into the blankets in embarrassment.

“It didn’t bother me, after you left this morning like you did it was actually a relief to have an idea of what was wrong.” He hoped to relieve her, but she just shuffled further under the blankets.

“Rey, sweetheart.”

“What.” Came her muffled reply.

“I would love to get you something to eat. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“You noticed.”

“Yes, of course. You not eating was probably the biggest red flag that you were unhappy and or sick.”

“True. Can we have waffles?”

“Of course. Chocolate chip ones?”

She pulled her head out of the blankets to look at him with mild surprise.

“What? My mother raised me right… Hormonal women get fed chocolate.” She huffed a laugh and finally came out of her blankets to swat his arm. He chuckled before getting up to go start on lunch.

Rey

Rey finally rolled out of her pile of blankets, she didn’t know if she was more embarrassed at having to have this conversation with Ben so early in the relationship or her own reaction to it. She had never had to deal with this before, when she was younger and on the pill her periods were always spot on so long as she was on time with her pills. She had never dated anyone seriously enough that she had to see them on the dreaded period week. But with the stress of life lately she was a week late and there was no adjusting it or predicting it with her IUD, it came when it came, your schedule be damned. 

So, this morning when she woke up with sticky thighs and cramps, she was practically panicking. Ben’s sheets felt expensive and she was afraid she had ruined them when she cupped herself to find copious amounts of blood between her thighs instead of the usual spotting that came with the first day. She fled to her room and quickly hopped in the shower.

Ben had been right about her pushing him away. She felt embarrassed and ashamed and the darker part of her had already prepared for him to be disgusted with her, to not want anything to do with her. She didn’t know why she kept expecting him to fail her or let her down.

When she walked into the kitchen to find him putting her lunch together, she felt a pang of guilt.

“Ben.”

“Hmm?” He responded, concentrating on mixing batter.

“I’m sorry about this morning, I know I overreacted.”

He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her, a look of concern marring his otherwise perfect features.

“Rey, you already apologized. We’re okay.” His eyes searched her face as if he was trying to figure her out.

“I reacted so badly, and it affected you.”

“I know that wasn’t your intention.” He said as he leaned onto the counter, giving her his full attention.

“I feel like I’ve just been an emotional roller coaster these past few weeks and you’ve been so steadfast and perfect…. That… that…. I feel like I don’t deserve you.” She said the last part in a rush and she looked down then, afraid of meeting his eye, a healthy dose of shame washing over her.

He rounded the counter to come to her, wrapping her up.

“Hey, I’m not perfect. I can have a terrible temper, I can be harsh, and judgmental. Sometimes I like to say the first thing I think, regardless of the consequences.”

“But you’ve rarely been that way with me.”

Ben shrugged, “I guess you just bring a better part of me out. But like I’ve said your emotional stuff is allowed to exist and as long as we talk about whatever is bothering you, we’ll be fine.”

“But what about you?”

“What about me?” 

“What about your needs, your need to talk or express or be cared for.”

“There’s time for that later, I guess. But we’re also talking about it right now and as long as you are talking about your stuff and our stuff, I can talk about my stuff and our stuff and we’ll figure it out.”

Rey nodded.

“I think I was trying to sabotage earlier.”

“I wondered. Would it help to talk about it?”

“Probably, can we eat first though?”

“Absolutely.” Ben dropped a kiss into her hair before returning to his task. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to eat a salad.” 

“Not as long as you let me cook dinner tonight.”

“If you’re up to it.”

“I have my period, I’m not dying.”

“I know, but you said you felt gross earlier. I guess I don’t fully understand what that means for you.”

She watched as he poured the batter into the waffle maker before turning to the fridge to put his salad together.

“Cramps, heavy bleeding for the first couple of days. Headaches and back aches come with it the first few days. Also, the emotional roller coaster, which may be part of our problem today.” Ben nodded along.

“What helps?”

“I don’t know. Pain pills, carbs, water? Hot pads sometimes.”

“Okay? How about what doesn’t help?”

“Too much salt or caffeine. Stress seems to make things worse, can make me late, increase the emotional stuff.” She shrugged unsure of how to continue.

“I’ll keep those things in mind. What would help you feel more comfortable being in my spaces?”

She was confused by the question. 

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You’re afraid of ruining my sheets, how do I get you to be okay with being in my space all four weeks of a month?”

She thought for a moment, watching as Ben set his salad bowl next to her and then plated her food.

“Time probably. I need time to know that you’re ok with all of this, not change your mind.   
Maybe cheaper or dark sheets for this week, or sleep in my bed.”

Ben nodded as he sat down.

“How are you so levelheaded about all of this?”

“My parents were levelheaded when they weren’t loose cannons. I did a lot of therapy and realized that being levelheaded had the biggest payoff.” He smiled wryly before digging into his salad.

They ate quietly for a bit before Ben continued.

“But if it’s something you go through every month why is it so anxiety provoking for you?”

“It’s not usually, outside of it’s regular inconveniences. But last night was so perfect and we haven’t known each other long and we just got together.” She picked at her waffle. “I guess I was hoping we’d actually have sex first before we had to have to deal with talk of bloody sheets. My childhood taught me that good things come at a cost, and maybe I felt like my luck would run out this morning.”

Ben nodded, seeming to understand what she meant.

“Plus, I couldn’t logic away the anxious thoughts.”

“Logic away?”

“Yes, like that you have sisters, or had female roommates, or close female friends. Things that mean that you have some education or understanding beyond what it means for our sex life.”

Ben perked up. “What does that mean for our sex life?” He asked, eyes darting between her and his salad, the slight curve of a smile playing at his lips.

She scrunched up her face. “I don’t know, up until now I’ve always avoided it all together. I’ve never liked or trusted anyone enough to go down that path with. Maybe we should revisit this when we actually get that far.”

He slumped some. “Okay… So, what does that mean for today? I want you to do what’s comfortable for you...”

“But?” She looked at him meaningfully.

He shrugged. “But I hoped you’d be comfortable staying with me.” He nervously traced patterns over the counter, not quite looking at her.

“That means that much to you?” Rey asked.

Ben nodded. “I’ve gotten a bit used to your presence. I like waking up to you in the morning.” He seemed so vulnerable suddenly, and she realized that this was a way to comfort him. That this relationship wasn’t transactional but a more continuous ebb and flow.

“Today really bothered you.” It wasn’t a question.

Ben nodded, looking thoughtfully at his bowl before getting up to put it in the sink. 

“It wasn’t about you.”

“I know, but you shut me out, after we’ve become so close. There wasn’t anything I could do. It felt different than any other time you’ve been distressed. It made me feel like you could have just disappeared from my life without a fight.”

She nodded.

“I never meant for you to take it that way, although, I can see why you did. I have a hard time believing people won’t let me down. I need to trust that you won’t and that’s going to take time. I’m sorry.”

She could tell he was mulling over his next words.

“How do I get you to see that you aren’t a burden? Not to me.”

He looked so sad when he asked, almost desperate.

“I have a long track record of people telling me that I am, I know that you aren’t them. So, I just need you to keep being you. It’s the only way I’m going to figure it out.”

He pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth, and it was relieving compared to the emotional morning. So, she put her hands on his cheeks and pulled him back to kiss him again, this time letting the kiss deepen. His mouth spread out in a grin, she finally let herself be happy for the first time since the night before. 

“Let me get this tidied up, you go pick out a movie for us to ignore while we make out in your bed?” It was a weak peace offering but it was what she wanted, and she figured he would, too.

He gave her one of his rare smiles that was all smile lines and crooked teeth before kissing her forehead.

“As you wish.”


	18. days 20-23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly smut.

Days 20-23

The next few days passed in an indecipherable blur. Rey would briefly wake to Ben letting himself out of the apartment to run and would wake to a kiss on her forehead when he got back. Sometimes she’d take that as a cue to get up with him others she’d lay in bed until she was ready to get up. 

On the mornings she got up she’d make breakfast and sit with him while they had coffee. 

On the mornings she stayed in bed she’d wake to her coffee in a thermos on the counter, for breakfast she would fend for herself since she had access to the kitchen. 

She would putter in her craft room until it was time to make them something simple for lunch, while trying to keep in mind Ben’s preference for healthy food. Then she would go back to crafting until it was time to fix dinner. 

But today she had an idea that she wanted to float by him. She had finally gotten her tax refund back and had an idea for a side hustle.

They sat down to dinner and she suddenly became a bit nervous.

“Ben?”

“Hmm.” He responded around a bite of dinner, tonight was meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

“I have an idea and I want to know what you think.”

“Okay?” 

“I want to invest in a 3-D printer so I can make things and sell them.”

“Sounds like a plan. Aren’t those expensive though? Because if you need-“

“I just got my refund, so I won’t initially, I don’t think. Right now, I just want to make simple things to sell on ETSY or something.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I know it may not be a big money maker, but I’d like to think I could at least pay for some of the basic things like my phone and a few dinners.”

“Ok, if something comes up and you need anything please don’t be afraid to ask.”

“I know. But I want to try this on my own.”

Ben nodded a soft smile on his lips and something resembling pride in his eyes.

“What are you going to make?”

“I don’t know, I’m going to start drafting ideas I think next week, I’ll order the printer tomorrow. I’m sure they’re on back order what with everything that’s going on.”

“Maybe. Can I share my news?”

“Please, do.”

“I think my final draft goes to my editor tomorrow, then I’m done for a few days. So, I have extra time to spend unless you’re sick of me already.” Ben smirked at her as he took a sip of his drink.

They had spent their evenings curled up on the sofa and would go to bed with kiss bitten lips. Despite her emotional melt down on Sunday Ben’s attentions hadn’t decreased at all.

“It’s nice out. I think I want to go for a walk.” Rey stated, it had been an uncharacteristically warm day and they had had the windows open.

“Want me to come with?” Ben asked as he put dishes in the dishwasher.

“Of course.”

They went and walked to the lake to watch the sun gleam off of the choppy water. The sun was warm, but the wind made the lake a rough surface and reddened their cheeks. 

“So, I hear we have to plan a second date.” Ben grinned and looked at her, letting her know she had his full attention.

“I think I’ll cook you curry since I know you like it so much. Then I think we should play board games; we haven’t done that together yet.”

“Oh, yeah? What games do you think?”

“Hmm… Trivia maybe? Winner plans the next date?”

“A little competition huh? Ok, I’m in. But I’ll have you know that I’m good.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so.” He tugged her into his side then and dropped a kiss to her hair and tickled her ribs a bit causing her to try to squirm away. 

“Well, we’ll just have to see then huh?” 

“Oh, we’ll see alright. I get to plan the date if I win, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Will there be rules for that date?”

She squinted at him in thought, nearly tripping over a dog on an extendable leash if it wasn’t for Ben tugging her to a stop. They moved around the obstacle, smiling at he dog and greeting the owner and continuing on their way.

“You know what? Do you worst Ben Solo, plan your date, your way but only if you win.”

“Will I get this chance again if I lose?”

“Maybe. We’ll see.” She chirped at him and she shoved her hands in her pockets seeking warmth. 

“Guess I better study then. When is this date anyway?” He tugged the hand closest to him out of her pocket and laced his fingers through hers while putting their hands in his own pocket. 

“Hmm, tomorrow after you get done with work?”

“Okay, and is there a topic for this trivia?”

“Hmm, no? I have a trivial pursuit game that Finn gave me for Christmas that I never got the chance to play.” She chanced a glance up at him to see his face serious.

“You’re really kind of intense about this.”

“What can I say? I am intense and…” He leaned down into her to speak darkly into her ear. “I don’t like to lose, Rey.” It made her shiver and with the glint of a dark promise. She peeked back up at him from under her lashes and caught his gaze. 

“Ben?”

He quirked an eyebrow at her in acknowledgement.

“I think I’d like to head back home now.” She said a little breathlessly, heat pooling in her center.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Ben

Ben practically dragged her back to the apartment, Rey practically jogging beside him to keep up with his long strides.

They were about a block away when she complained of a stitch in her side, so he got down in front of her and tugged her into a piggy back ride.

“You’re a mess.” She laughed while getting on, her arms and legs wrapping around his torso.

“Possibly, but I’m a mess who knows what I want.”

“Oh, yeah.” She spoke breathlessly in his ear, his hair tickling his neck. “And what is that Mr. Solo.”

“You. Just you, Rey.”

He could feel her press her face into his neck, her breath heating his skin. Her nose brushed his earlobe before he felt her teeth graze it just a bit.

“Fuck, Rey.” He breathed out as he fumbled with his keys to get them into their building. He felt her squirm against his back.

“Ben, you can put me down now.”

He ignored her as he went for the stairs, taking two at a time. He felt his thighs burn with her added weight but it hardly phased him, welcoming the push to his muscles, he wondered if she’d be willing to do this a few times a week until it was safe to go to the gym.

By the last flight he started to slow but was unwilling to stop now that he made it this far. He exited the stairwell finally setting her down in the hall and tugged her into a kiss before he pulled her down the short hall to their apartment. He keyed and shouldered open the door bending to kiss her as they tumbled their way through the entry. Ben kicked the door shut with a loud thud, causing Rey to huff a breath against his mouth. He shrugged his coat off tossing it to the side before working on hers. 

Her hands came up to cup his cheeks, her fingers brushing lightly against his ears causing him to shudder. He bent to pick her up, her arms going around his neck to stabilize her and her thighs wrapping around his waist, his hands cupped her ass, giving it a squeeze. She let out a sigh and broke their kiss, so he used the opportunity to walk them to his bedroom. 

“Can I have you naked today?” He asked a bit breathlessly as he tossed her onto the bed. “I’ve missed feeling your skin against mine.”

Her cheeks tinged as she watched him shed his shirt, he kicked off his shoes and undid his jeans.

“I really want you naked, I’ll get you a towel or something if that will help.”

She bit her lip, which was an image that went right to his groin, then she nodded and he would have celebrated a little more if he wasn’t half way to the bathroom. He made it back to his room and noted that she was already down to her bralette and panties, both black. He found himself a bit breathless and tossed the towel at her so he could shuck off his socks before crawling over her. She had managed to lay out the towel, so he aided her in scooting over it and nestled in between her thighs as soon as she settled.

He let out a moan as his skin pressed into hers, a tingle running up his spine. He kissed her again, his tongue sliding against hers. She squirmed under him and he ground his already hard cock against her.

“Can I make you come, Rey? Please?” He attacked her neck and moved down stopping at her breast and nosing at underside of the cup, meeting her eyes. He kneeled a bit shifting his weight so he could help her take it off, immediately sucking a breast into his mouth. The whole week it had been intense make out sessions in their clothes and he was grateful to have her bared to him again. 

“Ben.” She gasped his name and he looked up at her.

“Please, I promise I’m okay with it, I just want you to feel good. I just want to touch you, feel you.” He begged, cupping her cunt with his hand. 

“P-promise, you’re ok with it?”

“God yes, anything Rey.” She nodded a bit hesitantly, so he went back to paying homage to her breasts, giving her time to either reconsider or be more confident about it. 

“I love your tits.” He said as he switched to the one he had been neglecting.

“So perfect.” He swirled his tongue around her nipple before giving it a suck, cupping the other breast with his hand. He moved up so his knee was wedged between her thighs so he could rub against her cunt and ratchet up her pleasure. She bucked into his thigh and he let out a pleased grunt. 

He was curled over her as she ground into his thigh and gasping his name. He pulled himself away from her to sit up and started to tug down her underwear.

“Is this ok?” She nodded, her eyes hooded and jaw slack.

He tossed her panties to the floor and moved to hover over her, nibbling on her neck and putting his thigh between her legs.

“Tell me what you want, Rey.” He murmured into her ear.

“I want to come.” She breathed out.

“I want that, too. Tell me how.”

“With your fingers, inside.” 

He hummed his approval.

“Can I taste you?”

She shook her head and he accepted her limit nodding.

He moved her to sit up and moved behind her, careful not to dislodge her from her towel. He didn’t care but he knew that she would.

She was cradled in between his thighs so he was able to run his hands up and down her body. The view he had was a favorite, he was able to see her breasts with her pert nipples and the small nest of curls between her thighs. He could kiss her neck and her mouth, moaning as he kissed her and she squirmed against his erection. 

“Ben, I want to make you come this time.” She gasped as he cupped her mound, getting her used to his touch. He groaned and nodded. 

“You first, then anything you want, sweetheart.”

“No, Ben. Please let me touch you.”

“Ok, ok, let me get you close.” He breathed in her ear parting her folds with his finger and gathering her wetness to circle her clit. She keened and nodded, thrusting into his hand.

“Good girl, you’re so good, so perfect.” He pressed his middle finger into her cunt, getting her used to him.

He cupped her breast with the hand that wasn’t occupied with fingering her.

“I can’t wait to fuck you, Rey.” He drove the point home by pressing his erection into her back while he added a second finger.

“You’re so wet and you taste so fucking good.” He didn’t know what got into him, he usually wasn’t as talkative during sex. But with her right here in his arms and being so responsive to him he couldn’t help himself. 

“Ben, Ben… I’m so close.” Rey panted.

“Fuck yes. I need you to move baby.”

While she got up and kneeled facing him, he pushed down his boxers.

“Holy shit, Ben.”

“What?” He looked up at her tossing his boxers across the room, vaguely aiming for the hamper. He reached for her.

“You’re huge.” He smirked at her it wasn’t the first time he’d been told that. “It’s ok baby, we’ll take it slow.” He pulled her to straddle his thigh, shifting his hand so he could finger her and rub her clit. 

She settled in and gripped his dick giving it an experimental pump before going to cup his balls.

“God Rey, that feel so good.”

He saw a worry cross her features and captured her lips with his, cupping the back of her head in hopes to chase it away.

She pulled back, no such luck.

“Ben, what if I…” She gestured vaguely toward herself and he knew she meant the period blood.

“I don’t care, I want to be fucking covered in you.” She let out a gasp of breath and ground into his hand, momentarily loosing focus of what her own hand was doing.

“Are you close?” He rasped in her ear.

She nodded rocking her hips again, this time giving his shaft a firm stroke. She removed her hand and gave her palm a lick before returning it and began stroking his shaft in earnest.

“Yes, Rey. Shit… Just like that.” He got lost in the sensations of her touching him and he brought his hand down from her head to cup her ass and support her in her movements. He thrust up into her hand, grinding his thigh against her cunt. He used his fingers in her to rub against her the spongey area inside while she ground her clit into his palm.

“Can you come like this?”

She nodded franticly her forehead resting on his shoulder. He looked down to see her small hand wrapped around his cock and it nearly sent him over the edge. He bit his lip, holding back to wait for her. 

“You’re so beautiful, Rey. Want you to not leave my bed all next week.” She whimpered and he felt her clench down on his fingers.

“Gonna keep you here, keep you coming. Eat you out. Will you let me fuck you Rey? Will you be ready? God baby I’m so ready.” He could feel her shake against him.

“That’s it sweetheart, come for me. I really want you to, need you to come for me.” He kissed her neck and shoulder anything he could reach to add to her stimulation.

“Ben, I’m gonna… so close… gonna.” She was panting in his ear.

“That’s it, that’s it, yes, pleasepleaseplease, let yourself go.” And she shook and writhed and he felt her wetness seep into his palm and his own orgasm followed, thrusting his cock into her fist his cum landing on their stomachs and thighs and dripping down her hand. He moved his hand from her ass and brushed her hair from her face and placed a kiss on her jaw. He gently removed his hand from her pussy and shifted her to lay panting on the bed. He scooted down, moving the towel to clean his cooling cum from their skin.

He laid down next to her and pulled her to his side, sliding her leg up over his stomach and groin.

“So, I hear I’m scheduled to be in your bed all next week?” Rey asked, her voice raspy.

“I mean everything I say but please feel free to ignore me if I take it too far.” He kissed her forehead in an attempt to soothe her.

She nuzzled in closer.

“No, I like your ideas.” She said a little sleepily.

He pulled the blankets over them and held Rey to his chest, knowing that that is where she belonged.


	19. Day 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another date night, and probably not safe for work.

Ben woke when it was still dark. Rey had turned away from him sometime in the night, so he rolled to spoon her. Her bare back pressed to his chest and he let out a sigh of contentment as he settled to go back to sleep. 

He awoke a bit later the grey morning sun illuminating the room. Rey was still asleep in his arms and he hated the idea of getting up but wanted to get his final edits and corrections made. He kissed her bare shoulder and rolled to get out of the bed. A murmur of protest sounding off behind him. 

“Shhhh, we’ll have all weekend, go back to sleep.” He cooed at her before leaning back over to kiss her temple.

He dressed and went for his run. The morning air was brisk on his skin but felt good once he got warmed up. His muscles burning as he pushed himself along the lake path. The sun was cresting over the buildings as he took his cool down walk back home. He decided on heading up to the apartment to grab their car keys. Since they hadn’t been driving much and they had decided on going to the store next week, Ben wanted to make sure their cars were in working order. His dad didn’t raise a total fool, not when it came to cars anyways.

He had started the cars and was letting them run, the parking garage eerily quiet for a weekday morning. No matter how much he experienced it, it still shocked him a bit. He let his car idle in the garage and drove Rey’s around the block before turning it off and locking it up and giving his the same treatment. He was walking back to the apartment building when his phone rang.

He answered it quickly without looking.

“Yeah.”

“Ben, good morning.” His mom rasped.

“Mom, how are you feeling?” He had mostly spoke to his mom over text the last week and was a bit surprised to hear from her.

“I’m better, but your father isn’t feeling so great. He’s in the ER now. They’re debating on whether or not to keep him.”

“Shit, mom.”

“It’ll be ok. Your father is a stubborn ass and has found his way out of worse situations.”

“What about you?”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine my fever finally stopped the other day and although I’m exhausted, I think I’ll be able to manage. That food delivery app has been a god send the last couple days.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Oh, maybe a visit from you and that beautiful girl you brought last time. You haven’t scared her off yet have you?” 

“No, mom, she’s good. I have next week off from writing so I can probably come down a few times to check on you.”

“Good.”

“I’ll bring some groceries and things for you, too. So, text me what you need. I’ll try to see what I can get for cleaning supplies for you, too.”

“Oh, sweetie I don’t have the energy for all that.”

“Doesn’t matter, we’ll see what we can do.”

“Hmm. I’m getting tired, I gave the hospital your number just in case, otherwise I’ll keep you updated when I can.”

“Ok mom. I’ll call at lunch time to check in.”

“Good. Love you Ben.”

“Love you too mom.”

He took a calming breath as he hung up, centering himself before heading back up the stairs.

When he opened the door, Rey was standing in the kitchen in one of his shirts stirring the contents of the pan in front of her. 

“Good morning, what’s got you up?” He asked, momentarily setting aside the phone call he just had, there was nothing he could do right now anyways.

“Oh, just a really good night’s sleep I think.”

Ben walked up behind her, resting his hands on her hip and peering over her shoulder to see eggs and veggies in the pan.

“Looks good.”

“Hmm, I hoped you’d be ok with the breakfast selection.”

“Maybe I wasn’t talking about the breakfast.” He said as he dipped to nibble her neck, his hands wandering to the hem of her shirt.

She squirmed and turned slightly.

“Hey, no funny business.” He did his best to give her his very best pout.

“Yes, ma’am.” He said as he pulled his hands away, his fingertips ghosting over the skin of her thighs on their retreat.

She squinted at him before reaching on her toes to kiss him and turned back to the breakfast.

“Breakfast is ready if you are.”

“Yep.” Ben poured their coffee while she plated their food.

She put the plates on the counter and grabbed cheese and salsa out of the fridge.

They ate, Ben struggled to keep his eyes off of her legs as she sat in the seat next to him.

“Ben.”

“Hmm…?” He met her eyes then.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Nope, not a word.” She rolled her eyes playfully.

“Don’t make me put pants on in order to talk to you.”

“I’ll listen I swear” putting his hands up in a placating gesture.

“So, our date tonight.”

“You have my full attention.”

“Funny, cuz I’m pretty sure I led with that. Anyways, so what time do you think you’ll be done with work?”

“Oh, no later than 5:30 unless my mom calls back.”

“What’s wrong with your mom.” Alarm crossing her features.

“Oh, she’s on the mend it seems finally, but my dad went to the hospital this morning and might get admitted.”

“Oh, Ben.” Rey’s eyes widened in concern. “I’m sorry. What can I do to help?” She placed her hand on his thigh, her thumb rubbing circles.

He covered her hand with his.

“Go with me to visit my mom? I told her I’d go down, bring her some supplies and check on her.”

“Yes, we can definitely do that. What about your dad?”

“We won’t be able to visit him, but if he gets sent home…. Rey, I don’t know how they’re going to care for each other. I might have to go stay with them and help.”

Rey nodded, biting her lip with worry.

He cupped her cheek.

“But tonight, we are going to have a date and play trivia, and we will worry about the rest later.” Her eyes had gone glassy with unshed tears and he could feel his own do the same. He blinked them back taking in a breath.

“Now let me go get some work done, breakfast was great.” He kissed her forehead and was about to walk away when he turned back to kiss her properly on the mouth. 

Rey

She was so sad about Ben’s parents. Everything felt so uncertain and uncontrollable. She spent her morning cleaning, trying to find a way to expel her energy and to keep her from thinking too much about what possibly laid ahead of them. 

She focused on getting lunch and dinner prepped, using the time to chop veggies. When she called Ben for lunch, he took longer than usual to come eat. His eyes down cast as he came out.

“They admitted him.” Was all he said so she tugged him into a hug, trying to hug him as tightly as she could, his body curling over hers. They ate lunch quietly and when they were done Ben tugged her to the couch having her sit so he could lay his head on her lap.

“Just a few minutes, please.” He said it so quietly that she almost couldn’t hear him, but she combed her fingers through his hair as they sat in the quiet. Ben laid so quietly she thought he might have fallen asleep, but after some minutes he sat up, held her hand in his, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you. Now let me get back to work so we can enjoy our night.”

“Ben, we don’t have to—”

“I want to, let me have a pleasant distraction.”

She nodded. She went to her bathroom and cried for a bit after that, unable to hold back the sorrow. She didn’t even know Ben’s dad, had only met him that once, but couldn’t bare the idea of Ben losing something she never got to have. That if her and Ben stayed together, and he lost his dad to this illness that she would never get to have that. She hated herself for making it about her.

She turned on the shower, letting the bathroom steam, spending extra time to allow her breathing to calm before going about her date night ritual of shaving and moisturizing. 

She didn’t have any fancy clothes planned due to it being a lounging night, but she did want to be able to distract him a bit.

She grabbed the little shorts she wore after her quarantine and put on a bralette that did marvelous things with her breasts. She put on an oversized tank top that would show off said bralette. She completed the look with some mascara and her hair pulled up in a bun to keep in out of her face while she cooked. 

When she gave herself a final glance in the mirror, she was quite pleased with herself, if he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her this morning, he was definitely going to have trouble concentrating on trivia.

As far as she was concerned, they were probably evenly matched, he’d be better at history and literature, she would probably do best at pop culture and science. Sports would be a toss-up.

She grabbed her games from her closet dislodging things that were in her way. The lid had fallen off of the shoe box she kept her toys in. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something seemed off, from the ways the toys were layered in the box. Not that she was meticulous but that wasn’t how they should be sitting. 

Ben didn’t seem like one to rifle through her things, she thought about how she usually kept her closet, her weighted blanket usually sat on the same little shelf. She covered her mouth in embarrassment, her cheeks burning, unable to decide if she wanted to laugh or join witness protection. 

It could be possible that he knocked it over on the night he brought her the weighted blanket. It would explain the rearrangement, if Ben was nosy, he’d certainly be smart enough to put things back in an unnoticeable way. God he must have been so embarrassed, she was embarrassed. Or was he disgusted? Then she thought about the way that he spoke to her the night before and realized that probably wasn’t the case. She got a devilish idea. She liked the idea of making him squirm a bit, after all, he was quite good at doing that to her. 

Ben

He was glad that he had good distractions and motivators to get him through the day. He kept texting his mom to check in until she told him to go back to work and spend some time with his girl. His girl, a flash of possessiveness coursed through him at the idea, but he quickly stifled it, that wasn’t what his relationship with Rey was about.

Unfortunately. he did take until 530 to get finished up with work, but he was able to get done with what he needed to. He walked out to the kitchen to see Rey working over the stove.

“Hey, right on time.”

He swallowed hard noting the outfit she was wearing. It wasn’t fancy or flashy, but it showed her off well. Her lean legs in those little shorts, flashes of the skin of her ribs between her bra and tank top, the back of her neck. 

When he made his way back to her eyes, he caught a glimmer of a triumphant smirk as she turned to dish up their plates. He realized then that she planned this, and his trivia win was going to be hard earned.

They ate at the table and he saw that she already had the trivia game set up on the coffee table which she had pulled back in front of the couch. 

“So, are you ready to lose Miss Johnson?” Ben teased.

Rey made an amused hum.

“You know I found something interesting today.” 

“Oh, what was that?”

“I was looking through my closet to find that game.” She paused. Ben could feel his heart tick up a notch and did his best to school his features.

“Oh?”

“There was a box in my closet that seemed to have been disturbed.” Her face was blank, so Ben was unsure how to respond.

Here was his chance to confess and come clean, was she mad? She didn’t seem angry. He had to remind himself that honesty was the only way forward.

He took a drink, wiping his mouth before putting his napkin in his lap and folding his hands in front of him on the table.

The slightest smirk played at the corner of her lip.

“I may or may not have knocked over a box in your closet when you asked me to get your weighted blanket.” He cleared his throat.

“And then tried to pick it up,” she snorted a chuckle, “only to drop it and spill the contents all over your floor.” He could feel his ears burning, why was he so embarrassed about this?

Rey burst into a laugh and he chuckled along with her.

“You’re cute when your flustered.” She said smiling at him over her glass.

He let out a breath and nodded. “I’m glad it pleases you.”

“It does.” She took on a more serious tone. “What did you think?”

“Think of what?”

“What did you think of what was in the box.” She said a bit more firmly, the smirk leaving her face.

It was Ben’s turn to smirk. “Well, I learned about what Bad Dragon was. It was surprisingly artsy and pretty hot, but I have to admit I got a bit jealous.”

“Jealous? Of silicone?” She teased him. 

He nodded slowly, his eyes traveling slowly down her frame.

She swallowed hard before distracting herself with picking up their plates and taking them to the kitchen.

He got up and followed her caging her in against the counter. He leaned down to kiss her neck.

“Oh, no you don’t mister. You are not getting out of the rest of our date by distracting me.”

“Oh, am I? Distracting you.” He grinned and took up mouthing at her jaw.

“You know what you’re doing. Go sit on the couch.”

He smirked. “I do enjoy it when you boss me around.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now go.”

Ben turned and walked over to the sofa, taking up a corner to himself and resting his arm across the back.

Rey came over with drinks for them and settled in the opposite corner.

They picked their pieces and started playing. Ben was surprised that Rey was doing as well with sports as she was. He had expected her to do well with pop culture and science, and assumed she’d give him a run for his money on English literature. He may be a published writer, but he wasn’t an expansive reader.

Occasionally she would shift, and his eyes would wander across her skin. She was a distraction and he welcomed it. He would occasionally reach out to touch her, rubbing his thumb across the arch of her foot or the swell of her calf. 

“Ben.”

“Hmm.”

“Answer the question.”

“Read it again, please.”

“Lead is a chemical element with what symbol on the periodic table?”

“Uhm…” He could win if he knew this. He thought back to chemistry, he knew some of the ones it wasn’t, he remembered it being something that didn’t make sense to him.

“Pb?” He hazarded a guess.

“Yes. I can’t believe you knew that.”

“Ouch, ye of little faith.” He said, game mostly forgotten as he crawled closer to her, crowding her space.

“Well I guess you win.” She pouted at him.

“I do huh?”

“You do.”

“Remind me what I win again?” He asked ghosting his lips over the skin of her shoulder.

“To pick our next date.”

“That feels so far away. What do I get today.” He said as he kissed his way down her neck and chest.

“What do you want?”

“Whatever you’ll let me have.” He stated simply.

“In that case I want you to take me to bed.” A slight blush highlighted her cheeks and he sighed against her skin. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

He stood up and offered her his hand like he was going to pull her up. As she stood, he hoisted her up over his shoulder. Rey let out a squeal of surprise.

“You are such a show-off.” She huffed at him, her hands pressing into his back.

“Well, we are under a statewide quarantine, it isn’t like I can sweep you off your feet with some fancy date.” He carried her down the hall plopping her on the bed. He was about to join her on it when she pressed her hand to his chest.

“Nuh uh.” He panicked a bit, thinking he did something wrong.

She got up off the bed and turned him and pushed him to sit at the edge.

“Undress.” She stated firmly, he swallowed hard. He had told her he liked her bossing him around and she seemed to take it to heart.

He shed his shirt and pants with little quick, graceless movements, his erection bobbing for her attention when it was free from its confines.

He felt like an over eager teenager. His heart racing, unsure of what she would do next.

Rey stripped her own clothes off and grabbed a pillow off the bed, dropped it at his feet, and lowered herself to kneel on it. Despite him having had quite a few mental images of this, it was not something he actually expected her to do. 

She ran her hands up his thighs and he sucked in a breath.

Her eyes met his as she moved in to wrap her hand around his dick and kissed the tip. He leaned back on his elbows so he could watch her work. She licked a stripe up his length which caused his hips to flex up towards her.

“Rey.” He breathed out, watching as she took him into her mouth. Her cheeks hallowed and the smooth wet glide had him on edge already. 

She hummed around him, her hand stroking the area that her mouth didn’t cover. Her eyes flicked up to meet his gaze and she swirled her tongue around his head. He swore he stopped breathing for a moment. 

A strand of hair fell out of her bun and he reached to move it away from her face, not wanting to lose sight of her. He gently cupped her cheek and she paused to nuzzle into it before continuing. 

She pumped him with a firm grip, and he could feel himself getting close. He was panting harder now than he had for any of his runs this week.

“Rey, if you keep-“ She stopped and looked at him then.

“Let go, I want you to let go.” She went back to sucking on him, trying to take him as far as she could. She picked up her pace and he couldn’t help the impulse to thrust lightly up into her mouth. She hummed then doubled her efforts, stroking him quickly. He was tipped over the edge he watched her sneak the hand that wasn’t on his cock to stroke her clit. 

She stayed on him, pumping him languidly as he came down, until he became too sensitive and moved her hand away.

“That was amazing.” He said as he was catching his breath. Rey smiled coyly at him and he didn’t’ understand why she was still so far away in this moment. 

He sat up and pulled her up and onto the bed with him until she reached the pillows. Kissing her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth, tasting himself on her. He grabbed a pillow to help her tilt her hips up to give him a better angle. Rey huffed out an oh of surprise. He spread her thighs to give him easy access to her pussy, he could see she was already wet with arousal.

“Yes, Rey. All mine.” He rumbled out as he laid out on his stomach and licked up her center. She bucked up into his face, egging him on. His hands kept her thighs spread for him as he explored her, never quite getting enough. His tongue sought out her clit to give it some attention before pulling it between his lips with a gentle suck. 

He could feel his cock gaining interest again and ground into the mattress to give himself a bit of friction.

He finally felt like he had worked her up enough to add his fingers and began with one, gently thrusting into her up to his knuckle before he added a second. He was sure to pay attention to her outer lips, knowing there were nerves there. She was so tight around him and he could feel her tense and flutter around her fingers. She moved under him, thrusting into his face, he couldn’t wait to have her above him like this. He wanted her to smother him, use him for her pleasure. Before her he never would have considered himself a sub, but he was beginning to question it the past few days. He moved his free hand up to cup her breasts, nearly forgetting them in the process of being hyper focused on her cunt. She moaned in appreciation, her fingers latching into his hair and pulling. He moved his mouth away arranging his thumb to take over for his tongue. He got up on his knees to kiss his way up to her breasts, leaving a trail of slick as he went. He latched on to a nipple and suckled on her before moving to the other to give it equal attention.

She was panting and writhing under him, bucking her hips into his thrusts.

His eyes flicked up to find her hair a wild mess.

“You’re so close, I can feel it baby. Come for me, please come for me, wanna watch you come.” He pressed his fingers into the spongy flesh of her front wall, she moaned out then.

“Love it when you come, baby. I’m hard already just watching you, getting to eat your pussy. All wet for me.” She was moaning loudly, her fingers still in tight fists in his hair and he could feel her clench around his fingers, so close just a bit more. 

“Fuck, yes. Yes, baby.” He flicked her nipple with his thumb, and it seemed to be enough to push her over the edge. Her legs spasmed and she curled in on herself, riding out the orgasm. He kept his fingers inside her and pressed his palm against her, allowing herself to determine how much friction she needed without overstimulating her. After a few moments she pushed his hand away and he took that as a cue to remove it, sucking her slick off of his fingers with a rather crude sound before removing the pillow from under her hips and laying down next to her, drawing the blankets up around them. The texture of the blankets against her skin made her shudder again, as did his hand resting on her stomach. She was so sensitive after. 

Rey rolled into him and he moved his arm to cushion her head. He felt her hand graze his cock.

“You’re ready to go again.” Her voice a bit hoarse.

“Mmm, yes, but leave it. It’ll go away eventually.” She kissed his chest then. 

“I hope the neighbors didn’t hear.”

“Really? I hope they did.” He huffed out a laugh as she halfheartedly swatted at him. He just pulled her closer. Her back damp from sweat.

He was about to drift on when he realized she was fidgeting against him.

“hm, you ok?”

“Yeah, I need to get up though.”

“What do you need?”

“Bathroom… Water.” He grunted as he rolled away from her.

“I’ll go get us water and I’ll be back.”

He went out to the living room, picking up their phones off the coffee table and grabbed one of the large plastic tumblers and filled it with fridge water. 

He tucked Rey’s phone under his arm and checked his notifications. He saw a text from his mom.

_Your father has been intubated, he’s on a ventilator._

_I know it’s late you may be in bed already. I’ll call you in the morning. I’m going to try to get some sleep myself. Love you._

His world tilted a bit his ears were ringing, and he held stock still.

“Ben, Ben. Babe, what’s wrong?”

“My dad is on a ventilator.”


	20. Day 25

Rey sat up in bed brushing her fingers through Ben’s hair, his head in her lap. He was quiet for a long time and when he spoke it was a jarring rumble that broke her from her thoughts and the silence.

“What if he dies and this is the relationship I’m left with remembering? Stilted, cold, aloof.”

She was quiet for a bit, thinking on his words and giving him more time to talk before answering.

“I don’t know. Do you feel like you’ve tried to make the relationship better?”

He fidgeted, tracing patterns on the bare skin of her thigh, she had thrown on one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers after he had come back in. 

“Yeah. Maybe not when I was younger. But within the last year or two I’ve tried to do things that interest him, take him to the car show in Chicago, go to local races, drive to Indianapolis to see a NASCAR race…. It just never seemed to be good enough. The hotels were too fancy, or I didn’t know enough about this type of car or how could I possibly have never heard of this specific race car driver. It was always critical.”

She nodded and hummed in acknowledgment, unsure if he could see her. 

“You’ve tried and I’m not saying that if he gets better that you shouldn’t try again but maybe that should be enough.”

“But what if I hadn’t just dropped out of their lives.”

“If things were different, then they’d be different. My parents abandoned me, and I grew up in the system, but I would still try to have a relationship if they walked in the door. Would I be angry and hurt? Yes. Would I still try to blame myself for their behaviors? Probably. But you can only control you, you can’t control how your dad responds to that.”

He nodded and squeezed her to him his breath fanning against her skin.

“What’s in your power to do now?” She asks.

“Hmm, take care of my mom. That’s what my dad would want.” 

“Ok, then how do we do that?” He looked up at her and question in his eyes.

“We?”

“Of course, we unless… You don’t…” She stammered suddenly doubting everything, maybe she took it too far, too soon.

He sat up and cupped her cheek.

“No, I like we. I just don’t think I’ve ever been a part of a we like that, like this.” He kissed her gently, his thumb brushing her lips as he pulled away.

She smiled then, taking the opportunity to lay down and tug him with her, pressing his head to her chest, her legs draped over his thighs. One of his arms was wedged between them, while the other draped over her waist. 

She kissed the crown of his head, a gesture that she didn’t get to do often just because of his height.

“Ben?”

“Hmm.”

“I meant what I said about we…” She didn’t know if she was ready for, I love you, but she wanted to convey to him that she was serious about them.

He tilted his head to look at her, toothy grin and dimples on display. “I love you, too.”

Ben

It took him a while to finally fall asleep, he stayed curled up around Rey. He didn’t know who fell asleep first, but he remembered her fingers resting in his hair. 

When he woke at the first grey light, he felt his anxiety spike. He immediately untangled himself from Rey, trying not to jostle her. He grabbed his phone and texted his mom to let her know he was awake. He started the coffee and went to shower in the small bathroom so as not to disturb Rey.

When he came out, she was sitting at the counter scrolling through her phone. She looked up at him with a bit of worry crossing her features.

“Good morning.” 

“Morning.”

“Did you eat yet?”

He shook his head.

“Hmm, should get some breakfast then. Anything in particular you want?” She got up from the seat she was at and walked up to him, pulling him down for a soft kiss.

“Whatever you want to make is fine. I’m going to go get dressed.”

“Okay, what time are we leaving?”

“I don’t know. My mom hasn’t even called yet. The stores don’t open until 7 and it’s 6 now. So, soon probably.”

“Ok, I’ll make up something quick and go get ready, too. Then we can go?” He nodded and dipped to kiss her on the cheek to go get changed. 

By the time they were both ready the store had already been open, so Ben was able to go in quick to get things for his mother, while Rey went and got non-perishables for their own place. They were on the road by 9. The car ride was quiet but not uncomfortable. 

He would shift his eyes to Rey on the drive. She appeared less nervous than their first trip down and seemed mostly preoccupied with scrolling on her phone. He slid his hand over to grip her thigh, seeking a bit of comfort for his own worries. She laid her own hand over his in return.

They were pulling off of the interstate when his phone rang.

“Yeah, mom. You’re on speaker, Rey is here.”

“Oh good.”

“Any news?” Ben asked, half hope and half dread.

“No. Just the usual, what kind of meds he’s on, who his doctor is… Nothing terribly exciting.”

“Well, we’re almost there. Another 15 minutes or so?”

“Good, I’ll let you go then. See you soon.”

“See you.”

They drove the next few miles and he could see Rey’s hands fidget a bit more.

“Is everything ok?”

“I’m just nervous. Is it really ok that I came along?”

“Yes, my mom requested you actually.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s fine, we both want you there.” He didn’t want her to feel out of place and could understand that family stuff made her feel like an outsider.

“I just…” She took in a breath sighing. “It’s silly.”

“It probably isn’t.”

“I don’t know how to act, or what to do.”

“You don’t know what to do with your hands?” He smirked at her.

She huffed a laugh. “So, I have imparted some wisdom to you.”

“If that’s what you want to call it, sure.” He teased at her. “Just be you, that’s all I want anyways.”

She nodded and seemed to relax a bit in the seat.

“I realize that I get into a panic a bit when we come here, it’s 2 for 2.”

“It’s understandable. I’m not upset with you.”

They pulled into the driveway then. Both of them worked to unload the groceries and other goods onto the patio.

“Is this the best door for this?” Rey asked, trying to balance her items.

“Yeah, It’s closest to the fridge so less contact with the rest of the house.”

She set her items down on the patio table. 

“I’m going to take these in if you want to go get the rest.” 

Rey

She watched as Ben put on his mask and applied hand sanitizer to his hands. She nodded and went back to the car to get the rest. There were only a couple of bags left. She was startled to see another vehicle pull into the driveway. It was an old pick up truck, it had obviously seen better days.

Rey was unsure of what to do so she unloaded the car and shut the hatch and waited for the couple to get out. It ended up being a very tall grizzly man and a very petit woman, both older. She felt like she should know them by sight, was sure Ben had talked about them, maybe even seen a photo of them in his office.

The woman hopped down from the cab of the truck and approached her.

“You must be Rey.” She was startled that they knew who she was, and it must have showed.

“Leia told us you might be coming with Ben.” The woman tilted her head toward Ben’s car.

“Yes, I am. It’s nice to meet you.”

“The name’s Maz, this big lug is Chewie.” Maz smirked before tilting her head toward Rey and stage whispering. “The kids say he’s my himbo.” She gave Rey a wink and burst into laughter. 

Rey chuckled nervously and they walked to the door. Maz followed behind her with her stack of Tupperware and Chewie at her side.

They had made it back to the door as Ben came out his eyes wide with surprise.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Well, we thought we’d bring your mom meals that she can easily heat up. She told us that you might be bringing your girl so we-“

“Oh, no. You leave me outta this I told you to leave those poor kids alone.” Chewie gruffed out.

“Fine, I thought it would be nice to meet your girl, have her meet the rest of your family.” Rey couldn’t read Ben’s face well but saw his eyes swivel to her as if to check if she was ok with the unexpected guests.

“Well, it’s good to see you guys. I’m glad you’re well.” He took the containers from Maz and carried them into the house before returning for the rest of the groceries.

Rey settled on the bench her and Ben had sat on last time and put her own mask on, she didn’t want to be reckless. Maz and Chewie took up a bench on the other side of the patio, careful to keep their distance. When Ben joined Rey again, he brought handwipes offering them to Rey and Maz. 

He promptly sat next to Rey and took her hand in his. Whether she read the gesture as supportive but there was a tenseness that indicated that he was uncomfortable or defensive.

“So, Rey. Leia tells me you and Ben live together.”

“Yes, I moved in a few months ago, but we were only roommates then.”

“Ah, he must think very fondly of you. Our Ben wouldn’t let just anyone move in.” Rey noticed her eyes twinkle with mirth. Chewie looked rather uncomfortable.

“Oh, no. We had actually never met before then.” Maz widened her eyes as if in shock but was interrupted from saying anything by Leia coming to the door.

“Oh Maz, leave the poor girl alone. I know you mean well but I’d like to keep her around for a while.” Leia seemed to be struggling with her breath as she sat down in her chair inside the patio doors.

Ben moved as if to get up. “Mom?”

“Oh, I’m fine, this is actually an improvement from the other day. Thank you for picking up those groceries.”

Ben just nodded.

“So, Rey I’m glad that you we didn’t scare too bad the last time you were here.”

“No. I don’t scare too easy.” Rey stated more bravely than she felt, she felt herself lean into Ben a bit, seeking comfort.

After that they chatted some more. Ben seemed to sense when things might change to a more personal topic and would often steer back to safe or neutral areas. 

“How’s your book coming along Ben?” Maz asked, the look Chewie shot his wife was hard to miss. Rey suddenly had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Fine. I just finished the one I was working on yesterday.”

“Sticking with being anonymous then?”

“Yes. I don’t want the spotlight like that, especially not after…” He seemed to trail off. 

“Luke’s books are very niche I wouldn’t believe it would impact you.” Maz picked up the thread.

“Maz, Luke’s been on Oprah promoting his self-help hackery.” She felt Ben tense up next to him and he breathed out through is nose. “I would most certainly be connected to him. The last thing I need is for people to pick apart my books and ask me in every interview how it relates back to my grandfather or my Uncle.”

“It just seems that you are denying your past.”

“I’m not denying it, I just don’t want everyone else to make it my present. And quite frankly it is nobody’s business. I don’t need Grandpa’s and Luke’s skeletons in my closet. Rey doesn’t need them either.”

Maz turned to look to her then, appraising her in a way that made Rey feel exposed.

“You’re right, maybe everything is in front of you and not behind you.”

Rey felt the hair go up the back of her neck and shivered. Ben must have noticed because he draped his arm around her then, pulling her closer. She looked up to see a smirk from Chewie disappear into his beard. 

She pressed herself further into Ben. 

“Well, Maz now that you’ve gotten that out of your system for this year, I’m tired and I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Do you need help mom?”

“Nah. I got it. But text me when you get home.”

Leia pushed herself out of her chair and everyone else followed suit and made their way to their vehicles.

Maz taking the lead. Rey heard Ben and Chewie talking amongst themselves as they made their way back to the car.

“Don’t mind her Ben, you know she likes to preach that love and acceptance line. She doesn’t realize very few people actually practice it.”

“I know, I expect it at this point. I just want it to be dropped for good.”

They walked a little bit further before Chewie and Ben made their goodbyes. 

“Call if me if you guys need anything. I mean it.” It was obvious that Ben was holding himself back from extending his hand to the bear of a man. 

“Will, do. How about a beer when all of this is over?” Chewie said around a broad smile.

“You know what the doctor said about you drinking.” Maz inserted. 

Chewie just winked at Ben and the parties went their separate ways.

When they got into the car Ben let out a long sigh before turning on the car to head back home.

“I’m sorry about the ambush.”

“Why? It isn’t your fault. Your family just wants to meet your girl.” Rey bit her lip in an attempt to remain serious. Ben just shook his head.

“Maz can be a bit over the top at times and it can take a bit to get used to her.” 

“Yeah, she is pretty intense.” Ben nodded in agreement.

“She was traveling fairs telling fortunes when she met Chewie, she left everything behind and hopped into the cab of his truck and the rest is history.”

“What. Really?” Rey asked skeptically.

“No, so don’t believe it if she ever tells you that story. Chewie was a roadie for Poison and she sold him some weed. He got off of the bus and the rest is history.”

Rey laughed. They chatted a bit on the way home. Ben telling her more about the couple she met and how they were a big part of his life growing up. It felt nice being let in on these family memories but moments like this always made her a bit sad. 

When they got back to the apartment Ben ordered them delivery and they put their own purchases away. 

Rey couldn’t help but be quiet, her thoughts were a jumble. Ben had grown up with eccentric but stable adults who obviously cared for him. She knew logically that it wasn’t her fault that she was surrounded by people who didn’t care about her and that those same people didn’t really care about anyone. But there was still a gap that would open up and tell her that she was the broken one. 

“Hey, are you ok? You’re quiet.” Ben’s eyes searched her face as if to divine an answer. 

“Just tired I think.” She shrugged, it was probably half true. 

So, Ben did what he did best and acted on that information. He laid on the couch and tugged her to be the little spoon. He threw a blanket over them and wrapped her up tightly in his arms and dropped a kiss to her hair. 

“They like you, you know that, right? You’re good enough for them… And even if they didn’t think that it wouldn’t matter to me.” He rumbled behind her. She didn’t know how he did it. How he knew what nerve was exposed, although it had been the nerve that was frequently open to the air lately. She picked up his hand and kissed his palm before putting it back down. She felt a tear track down her nose and she couldn’t help but sniffle. Ben just pulled her tighter to him and curled further around her. She did her best to calm herself and eventually she drifted off into a nap. 

The noise on the TV filtering through created macabre and surreal dreams. She awoke to Ben shushing her and rocking her slightly.

“Hey, it’s ok. You’re ok.”

She gasped in a breath and realized her cheeks were wet with tears.

“I don’t even remember anything I was dreaming about.”

“Do you need anything?”

She shook her head and turned toward him. “Just you.”

“Done.” He rumbled. She dri

She woke up some time later tucked into bed and cooking sounds coming from the kitchen. The overcast sky made it look later than it really was.

She made her way to the kitchen, her stomach leading the way.

“Hey, you’re awake.” Ben greeted her and then kissed her forehead when she got close enough.

“Did you sleep at all?” She asked.

“Not really, I think 10 minutes maybe. But then I needed to get up and thought dinner would be nice. But I thought you might be more comfortable in bed. Was that ok?”

“Yes, was I asleep in there long?” He squinted at the clock on the stove.

“Maybe an hour?”

“I was really out then.”

“You were. I hope you’re hungry because dinner will be ready in a few.”

“Starving.”

Rey set the table while Ben finished up.

They ate pasta and homemade sauce. Ben said that his mom texted, that she appreciated their visit and that she looked forward to them coming down again in a few days.

“Any updates on your dad?”

“No. My mom basically said no news is good news until he goes one way or the other.”

“What can I do? For you or for your mom? I feel so helpless.”

“Just be here.” He reached for her hand and took it in his.

“Sure.”

They settled into a quiet night. Rey dug out her knitting project, it was looking less knobby as she went now, and Ben tidied up his office since he’d be switching projects soon. Rey texted Finn and Rose for a while before crawling back into bed, Ben joining her a bit later. 

They fell asleep curled up, the moonlight illuminating the room around them.


End file.
